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How did you get over 'that straight girl/boy crush'?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Manicpanicx, Aug 24, 2015.

  1. Manicpanicx

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    Unfortunately I've fallen hard for a girl... but she's straight. Well at least I think she is. I've never asked but I just assume so because she mentions 'boys' when asked about relationships. She's a hopeless romantic and talks about how she can't wait to fall in love, how much she loves kissing and stuff like that and it sometimes almost physically hurts to think that she's probably gonna meet a guy she'll get to do all of that with. I've got it bad you guys, but I don't think I have a shot in hell :frowning2:

    Any advice?
     
  2. TeamTeal

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    I think there's no secret recipe, to get over someone whose feelings/attraction are not reciprocated, the only way is to distance yourself from that person. It'll be painful at first, but it gets easier with time and it'll give you the opportunity to focus on other people/potential relationships.
     
  3. mochii

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    I agree with TeamTeal, distancing yourself will help, because if she's straight there is no way it's going to work, and it will only lead to more heartache. But is there anyway you can ask if she is into girls? I know that might seem ridiculous, but you never truly know someone's sexuality until you ask.
    Straight crushes ARE AWFUL, because they can not be reciprocated. I've gotten the "you would be perfect for me if you were a boy" from my old best friend and I wanted so bad for her to want me as a girl. But over time, your feelings will diminish when you come to terms with her not being right for you.
     
  4. galaxygia

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    Distancing yourself works reeeeaaallllyyyy well but also keep on the lookout for someone new. I got over my straight crush when I realized I had feelings for one of my friends.(feelings that had been there ever since I'd met her but I hadn't labeled them until a few months ago)
     
  5. Devil Dave

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    Does this friend actually know you are gay? I ask because I have had crushes on straight friends in the past, and I never told them outright that I was gay. I didn't say I was not gay, I just never confirmed it. And that's almost as bad as staying in the closet.

    I've been through that phase of thinking "I'd rather be his friend than somebody else's lover" and that is such a bad way to go. I was depriving myself of experiences with other gay men. And these straight guys were certainly not forsaking women for my sake. All it did was cause me regret.
     
  6. Ameryllis

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    When I have had straight crushes in the past, I usually just have to accept the fact that nothing will ever happen between them, and then try to distance myself from them as much as possible. It's usually quite a long, hard process but in the end it works. Another strategy would be to transfer the feelings you have for the person onto someone else who you think you may have a chance with, but that is usually quite unfair for that "new" crush. Anyway, hope this helped! :slight_smile:
     
  7. jonjon

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    Ugh. I fall for straight friends and coworkers way too often. It'll be the death of me one day. I'm not sure how that'd work though. Maybe there's a gland in your brain that expands a little every time you fall for someone that doesn't swing that way and then one day it just pops. Then your dead. The headlines will read, "Mutant gay man's head explodes after his straight-boy-attraction gland pops, leaving the goo of forbidden love smeared across the produce isle at local grocery store."
     
  8. LunaticSoul

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    Hah, that's actually funny, I'd probably be another victim :lol:

    As to the crush, in my case distraction was always helpful.
     
    #8 LunaticSoul, Sep 3, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2015