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What made you start questioning?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Hats, Jun 14, 2015.

  1. woahthatsboring

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    I think there's a lot of things that led to question but the main one, that brought me here was the fact that I was "hate-loving" a friend, I was starting to behave more stand-offish with her and she asked me why? one day and I was like in my head... "Wow, I think I'm in love with you" and when I figured that out I was like no but I'm straight because I still like guys, I'm dating a guy right now so that must mean I'm 100% straight and I was wrong :slight_smile: not such a bad thing but very confusing indeed. I've always looked at women and blah blah blah but I never questioned until I fell for that one girl and more just came rushing in.

    Anyways, you're not a attention seeker :slight_smile: people who say that are very harsh because it's hard to be sure about everything(especially sexuality because its fluid for some). I wish you luck :slight_smile:
     
  2. YuriBunny

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    When I was ten years old and first found out what 'gay' meant, I immediately realized that I might enjoy dating a girl.

    That was the first thing I guess. Soon after I started reading stories about lesbian love online. Then I started watching yuri anime. Then I got a crush on a girl at school. But I believed for a long time that I was bisexual. In the start of eighth grade I began considering myself a lesbian instead.

    So really, I wasn't questioning much, because I thought I was bisexual for a long time and felt satisfied enough with that label. In the very start of eighth grade, I suddenly began to contemplate it much more seriously, mainly because my crush on that girl was getting a bit obsessive and I started to wonder if I liked guys at all.

    So, although I first considered it at ten years old when I learned what gay meant, my questioning didn't become very serious until my crush, and I didn't question very long after that.
     
  3. UncertainTea123

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    I think it's always been a question in the back of my mind but one I ignored, denied, and/or rationalized my way out of. But recently I went on a meditation retreat and was super peaceful while meditating until a thought suddenly popped into my head - "when I get home, I'll go on a date with a woman!" It felt like my whole mind went crazy with confusion and fear. It's sort of prompted me to really consider this question I've always put off. I don't have an answer yet, but after a good deal of reflection on a series of past crushes I'm starting to thing there's something going on here.
     
  4. nevers

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    I realized that I was never really just for guys, but I was told "You are female and females like guys or they're shit" I let go of that, and I realized when my female friend smacked my ass, I didn't hate it.
     
  5. deener

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    I always had girl crushes early on. Then one day when i was 12, I rented the movie "Risky Business." The first sex scene will make a man out of you one way or another. Surprisingly I found myself fantasizing about Tom Cruise more than Rebecca De Mornay. It kind of scared and excited me at the same time. I wasnt sure what to make of it. After that i started noticing how "handsome" some of my guy friends were even though i still liked girls, too.

    Then when i was 13, i masturbated for the first time thinking about one of my buddies on the football team. After about a month of that nightly routine i kind of realized i was at least a little bit gay...though it would take me years to admit it to myself fully.
     
  6. KingJude

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    I was 11, saw a hot guy and thought 'DAYMMM!' :lol:
     
  7. Surpriseat30

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    The first time (because it has to be complicated!) was when I was 23. A close guy friend who wanted a relationship was trying to psychoanalyze me on the car ride to a sports bar. His questions made me wonder why I didn't seem as "sex-driven" as other girls my age, and why I had only a few crushes/infatuations on men, while my other female friends had many. I also wondered why I didn't have much of an impulse to explore sex.

    We got to the bar, I sat down, saw a confident, self-assured woman playing pool across the room, and went, "Oh, I must be a lesbian." It really was that extreme.

    Second time, 6 years later, was when I felt my attraction towards men diminishing or feeling "incomplete." I thought it was due to medical sickness. But then I started to feel differently around women. Little signs added up and it all came out again.
     
  8. blueshadedsoul

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    I wondered for the first time when I was 8 or 9 because I was a bit too obsessed with a friend of mine, and I wasn't sure if it was a crush or not. And I've always looked at girls but though nothing of it tbh, I never seriously considered it until I watched Blue is the Warmest Colour lol
     
  9. rhiannon0713

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    Lack of interest in dating and being in a relationship altogether, but particularly the fact that I have a much lower interest in dating than all my friends. I also began questioning my sexuality because I am expected to want a boyfriend and simply have a low desire to have one. At least, not right now. I have considered what it may be like to date a woman and am definitely not opposed to it. I'm beginning to think that I may be bisexual or pansexual because I find men and women attractive, and also gender fluid and androgynous people. I can't really explain it so I hope this kind of makes sense to others? So far all I can determine is that I am definitely not heterosexual.
     
    #29 rhiannon0713, Jun 16, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2015
  10. womaninamber

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    When I was about 16 I had this dream that I was kissing a girl. And I told myself that dreams are mostly symbolic anyway (plus I didn't really crush on said girl while awake) but I couldn't help feeling inside that kissing a girl might not a bad idea at all. Then a while after that I started thinking I might like one of my female friends in a romantic way.

    So I've been questioning for over 30 years which is not something I like to admit. I mean you'd think I'd have the answer by now. But I spent a fair chunk of that time married to a man. (And because I do feel I was in love with him I tend to think I'm bisexual but I'm having trouble accepting that.)
     
  11. magickoi

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    Growing up I was always way more emotionally attracted to guys and over time that emotional attraction turned sexual. It was something I think my parents picked up on and because of that my father used to always push heterosexual ideas on me and ask me to agree with him when he spouted off super ignorant comments. As Ive moved out into the world by myself, I have definitly become more comfortable with my feelings towards men. It started with dreams and progressed to crushes and flirting. I get the same for women though too. I can be with a woman and fall in love and I can be with a man and fall in love. Its been a confusing ride.
     
  12. takoyaki

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    I had a crush on my best friend during Highschool. It was really confusing at the time and I didn't know if it was a crush, admiration or just the fact that I was really shy but she was outgoing and had much more friends than me. I'd constantly get jealous when she got close to other girls. It became clear during uni when one day she massaged me to say that she's got her first boyfriend. I was on the train at the time and just started crying. By then I realise that I definitely had feelings for her..
     
  13. Starwind78

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    LOL. I think that might be the same thing with me. I assumed I was just apathetic with dating. Now, I'm thinking it might be because I'm apathetic about men completely.
     
  14. ShyShutterbug

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    Most of my life I considered myself straight. I've had crushes on boys for as long as I can remember. I always thought girls were pretty but I didn't have any real crushes on girls as a kid. I didn't even know that gay people existed until I was a little older.

    I didn't question whether or not I was bisexual until around high school. I started to notice an attraction to women and I started to imagine what it would be like to have a girlfriend. But I thought something was wrong with me not just because I started having feelings for women, but because it took me so long to realize it. I knew most lgbt people knew what they were from a very young age and I was ashamed because I felt like I should have known sooner. Then I googled "questioning sexuality" and I felt a wave of relief. It was so comforting to know there were other people going through the same thing as me.
     
  15. Aura

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    This girl in school started it all, damn her why does she have to be so attractive?? :bang: :confused:
     
  16. MetalRice

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    Just general things, such as noticing the fact that I stared at hot men too long, noticed things too much; is what really started me on the path to questioning my sexuality.
     
  17. CalluxRising

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    When I was 4 my first crush was a girl. At 7 years of age, I dedicated a song to a neighbor who's also a girl. Two years after that, I did the whole study in advance thing in math (which is a subject that I want to love with all my soul but just simply can't) to help/impress a girl from another class. I began questioning myself when I was in high school, with all the raging hormones and such, after developing a huge crush on a friend who is also a girl. I was still closeted at that time in a way that I just deny the idea that I'm a lesbian. I remember I thought I was just unlucky enough to be surrounded by awful-looking men while gorgeous women roam the place like they meant to make me realise I was the opposite of unlucky. Then in college, I tried so hard to develop some kind of hardcore crush for the opposite sex but failed as I was mostly checking out girls still. I had a cutesy crush with a male friend though, all because he's into the same music I was hooked to and our humor just clicked then later found out (like 5 years later) he's gay. Or most probably gay. At that time I was already pretty much convinced that I'm gay and trying to say otherwise would just be me betraying my soul. But still, I kept it to myself and just played the 'Nah, I just haven't found the right guy yet' card whenever people asked why I was still single. It was after a failed LD relationship with a woman when I finally admitted my gayness and decided that denying so would just worsen my misery.
     
  18. shu

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    Stumbled upon some gay romance novels and read them (⌒-⌒; ) I didn't really understand what I was getting into...
     
  19. choirsmash

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    I think I first started thinking about it when we got our new chorus teacher (good friends with him now) and I figured out he was gay (it's not like it wasn't obvious, he's pretty stereotypical and he had an equality sticker on his office door). I knew I had some sort of connection with him but I couldn't really figure out what it was. It wasn't until he had actually been helping me through something else that I just got this sudden thought that I had to tell him I was gay. I thought it and I was like wait what. I also saw a post on tumblr that described characteristics of asexuality (thought I was for awhile). Once I figured out that I was bi (with the help of said teacher) my sex drive actually showed up and I became interested in relationships with certain people. I actually started crushing on people legitimately. Weird how things like that work, huh?
     
  20. Chicagoblue

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    For me it primarily came down to having a high sex drive. I have always had good personal relationships with men and women and am a normal career guy. However, women just seemed way too much work to "chase" or "attract" or get into and stay in a relationship with. I have pretty high self esteem and have always had a certain amount of the "boyish good looks" you see in gay porn stars. So I was attracting attention from gay men without knowing it over the years. Then along came FREE gay porn O boy. Pandora's box was open...