What are you thinking?

Well, this Gaytheist is back in therapy. It was the only way I could get in to see their psychiatrist to get my meds refilled.

 

Last day of this crappy school, last time having to go into this crappy school, last piano lesson, last time I will see my teachers and former classmates and last day before summer vacation. And I soooo don't care. I'm only a bit glad I can that leave behind me finally! Fucking school! It's never been the right one for me and still I visited it for 8 fucking years....

 

I'm thinking of the delicious meal I just had, and how I'm looking forward to visitting my friend in about an hour :3

And also how I reeeeaally want chips & dip although my diet says otherwise...

 

My Appa plushie came in the mail today. It's sooo cute ;-; My life is complete <3

 

Why am I always so indecisive? It's annoying as #$%^

 

OMG NOW THESE THOUGHTS GET OUTTA MY HEAD
quoting myself
What has the world come to

 

You don't win friends with salad.

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Might take up my case worker on that offer to work with that gender therapist. Might as well just give it a go and see how it works. I should have just told her "yes" first off...

 

I forget to eat, then suddenly my stomach hurts and I wonder why...
Meh...

 

Folks who act tough often don't realize how silly they look, because their manners and demeanor come straight out of a preteen girl's fanfiction. Like, if you're going to be the big bad ass, at least be unique about it -- quit drawing from the stereotypes. That's the one thing these individuals forget about being a bad ass, it isn't the rugged language or the stoic attitude, it's being yourself and not giving a fuck.

Being an archetype reveals just how little you understand, the world or yourself.

Why is this on my mind? Well, I've encountered a few people today who, for one reason or another, like to puff up their chest. But hey, it amuses me so, you know, maybe I should be thanking them...

On a lighter note, I had the line at the DMV cracking up, while we were all waiting to renew our licenses and registration. Today's a pretty good day, I'd say.

 

I just had a Walter White moment.

I was over at the allotment, and was just walking back. The sky was pretty and the sun was in my eyes and I just thought 'this is when I want to die'. I felt like for a few seconds, the end was in sight, but here I am, at home, with 60 odd unbearable years ahead of me.
It should have been then.

 

Ugh, crushes. Why are they the best and worst thing to ever happen to you?

 

I know that feeling way to well

 

Did I really just hand my crush a girlfriend on a silver plate? Because now he can't shut up about her. I am smart, right?

 

When you publicly say something nice about someone and they openly say something ignorant immediately after....

 

I think that could be very uncomfortable, but I would ask what the reasons are, and then talk to the person about what they said.

But if it does make you mad or sad or otherwise uncomfortable, is it because they wounded your vanity, because after you decided to reward them with with your praise, they said something fool-hearty? If so, then why do you value your pride so highly, or the extent to which you give out praise and to whom? Where, exactly, does the discomfort come from?

I would examine the situation from numerous perspectives, and use it as a means of reflection.

~

Here, I am trying to stay calm during a very stressful move out of an emotionally abusive house, and also, some coming legal matters, and thus, have been pondering things a good deal, and trying to remain calm. But I'm happy to have almost moved away from those old housemates, and into a tiny, Tokyo-Sized place with my mate.

 

I can't deal with this, anymore...

 

There's usually only one thing on my mind 24/7 (besides the one I love) and it doesn't even feel like my own brain thinking it. It's this stupid voice in my head that constantly says the worst things imaginable about me and people around me that goes on and on and ON and just won't shut up no matter how many times I try to block it off with other thoughts why won't you get out of my head already you insolent prick I just want one second without you calling me a :***: or that guy over there a :***: or wether or not my lover is a :***: just leave me alone! :tears:

Sorry, I just needed to vent. I have to go look for my pills now. :redface:

 

Nothing wrong with being in therapy anyway. This guy's seeing a counselor himself pretty soon.

 

Oh, no. It is not that I am personally upset or offended. I find it specifically annoying in those instances because I make a conscious effort to ensure that the things that I put out in the world come from a place of support or having educated myself on a subject. I don't demonize people for making ignorant statements, but when you publicly state positive things about someone right before they commit negative actions publicly then there is the possibly of people associating with that person and their actions.

I don't react differently when to ignorant comments depending on who they were said by. I don't care how I felt about someone before they say ignorant things. I would simply rather not post something about how they are an awesome person moments before they say something that I find insensitive or misguided for the world to see.