Hi ! I've noticed that there is a great part of us who at least went through Depression/Anxiety/OCD. I've never seen that many depressed person elsewhere than on a NEET chan board. And thus... I wondered why. I'm myself going through depression, but I don't think it has anything to do with my orientation or gender... Do we have, like, a brain that is more prone to those illness ?
For some, it may just be coincidence. But for the rest, we live in a society where anything that is not heterosexual, for the most part, is, a fad, wrong, disgusting, sinful, trendy, objectified, sub-human, a defect, discouraged, hated, scapegoated -- everything, but respected, normalized, and accepted. Now, why do you think most of are ___ again?
Well, I had considered it that way but wasn't sure. But it kinda feels like not being heterosexual ain't the only thing that makes people depressed. It looks like they went through a great deal of problems before realizing that they weren't straight. Is it like something is missing during that part of one's life ?
Imagine you stub your toe. It hurts, but it'll get better. Now, imagine you trip after stubbing your toe, fall on your face and break your nose. It hurts a bit, but it'll get better. Finally, imagine after breaking your nose, your roof collapses on you. You stand a good chance of breaking more bones in your body. This hurts a fuckin' lot, and it may get better. It's one thing to have depression or anxiety about making friends, going to school, holding or finding a job. But when you tack on something as misunderstood and even hated, like sexuality, it can turn an ant hill into a mountain. It can become too much when, sadly, it really shouldn't.
I have read somewhere that having these anxiety/depression issues etc. is partly due to the fact that we(LGBT) might be still in the closet/we might not be accepted by the general public. You see, when we are not being able to express our sexuality freely, it can lead to such issues. And yup I have social anxiety.
I think the reasons are pointed out by Kaiser and potofsoup: we are not (entirely) accepted by the general public. However, this does vary from place to place (and time to time). Personally, I have not experienced depression nor anxiety, and I'm not aware of OCD's (I don't think I have them). But like you, I have noticed that quite some went through depression here.
I feel that I was a bit misunderstood, I'm not saying that it ain't the case. Not at all, even I feel a bit of anxiety because of this, so I can only imagine how heavy it can be for other people, and I can't imagine it being a trivial matter for them. I was just pointing the fact, that there are people who already had quite a difficult past before realizing they weren't heterosexual, there usually are lots of matters that make one fall into depression. I just wanted to understand why it was so, I'm not under estimating how hard it can be for certain persons: It would be totally stupid and disrespectful.
I think it's not only the outside.Because when the everyone else tells you that something is wrong with you as a person you search the errors inside you and think you're wrong for being different.So the disacceptance (doesn't even has to be that can just be being the weird one) from the outside leads to guilt or disacceptance on the inside which becomes depression.
Exactly. I think you will find that those that are completely out have these problems to a much lesser extent than those of us that are partially closeted. Fight-or-flight is intended to be a short term response.
I don't know. I was depressed before I had any inkling about being transgender but, I suppose I knew I was different from others since childhood and didn't feel I belonged with anyone, even my own family so I suppose it stemmed from social exclusion and feeling the odd one out.
Because we are told, intentionally or not every day, that we are subhuman, abnormal, weird, ect. And the fact we are treated as non-existant in media doesn't help either.
Because we cannot express ourselves freely, also about genuine themes. For example, I cannot talk about my ipotetical wedding with my wife in the future to my sister because she thinks that I want to parade my homosexuality... But she can talk about straight sex in such a uninhibited manner Hurrah the coherence! :dry:
I think: We get depression because it's harder to find somebody. Some people also might get depressed bc no one accepts them or they're getting bullied. I think we get anxiety because we may be scared of getting outed by certain people and whenever the question comes up it makes you're heart pound. Idk about OCD. But I kind of have it.
Society. I find the more heteronormative you are the more problems you have. Every gay guy I've met that was ok with being gay generally was girly. Not saying that's a bad thing, but when you get along with females more and most of your friends are female it's hard to know how people really are. I get along with males more, and my anxiety and depression comes from not feeling like I connect fully with straight and gay people because I don't fit into either box. I know this too be true because most gender conforming; naturally conforming, males I know that are gay have major problems with it or are embarassed. Try having a brother and growing up around a bunch of males and then realize you aren't fully like them, but you also don't fit in with the gay community, and try not to be depressed. I have to be very selective about who I'm friends with.
I agree with this fully. I'm the type of guy that people would never suspect of being gay just because I'm generally masculine gender wise (or straight-acting, however you want to call it). And it can make being gay difficult at times since, like you said, I don't fit nice and neatly into either the straight or gay communities. This was a big source of my depression problems when I was in high school and in my early twenties. I grew up in a small conservative community and my only exposure to gay culture was what was being shown on TV: the typical stereotyped flaming queen caricatures that passed to represent gay people at the time. I couldn't identify with that image of homosexuality since that just wasn't me. It made me very conflicted for a long time. Now that I've moved to the city and have been exposed to much more, I know that the gay community is more diverse than what is shown in the media and that has made me feel more at ease. In short, I think that the reason depression, anxiety, and OCD are so prevalent in the LGBT community is because we either completely defy accepted gender norms or we're in that grey area where we do fit into those norms somewhat, but we're still different enough that society at large puts us down for it. When you feel as if the whole world is against you just for being who you are, that's a good recipe for depression.
it's the same for me. in fact, what first sent me into a downward spiral had absolutely nothing to do it! I never got any sh*t for being bisexual, luckily. but then again, I have symptoms of bipolar disorder, so my anxiety/depression could never have derived from my orientation.