Hey everybody. I only discovered this site a couple of days ago, and I'm excited to see that it's so busy! [On the topic of the site] First off, I'm still only 17, not far from 18. Around the end of last summer, I started realizing that I was attracted towards another guy (but I suppose I could say it actually started beneath the surface late 2013). Although I might be very wrong, it seems like almost everybody here has memories of the homosexual thoughts/experiences they had when they were young. I didn't think about these things often, and when I did, they were quickly forgotten. I wasn't even really opposed to gays (and company), I just didn't care until not long ago. I'm not asking if it's normal (because I'm somewhat confident that I'll get a resounding "yes"), but I'm trying to figure out if it is common or not to only *suddenly* become aware. I keep feeling left out whenever I hear "Being gay isn't a choice", because I honestly feel like I made the choice to develop that side of me. Perhaps I am interpreting the meaning of it wrong, though. Story time! I truly did not consider that I could be non-straight until I was very deeply upset over something, and I became infatuated with the singer of a band that I was -and am still- into. Anyways, after absolutely no thought, I found myself *ahem* wanking to pictures of him and listening to the music. I found that what I was doing surprisingly enjoyable. :icon_redf Ever since then, I've been more attentive around other guys, but I mostly like looking at the feminine ones anyway, which is the irony. Hahaha. Also of note is that I've never had a real relationship, just one awkward girlfriend that never talked to me, during which I was introduced to a girly vampire anime which I enjoyed inordinately (plus, it was the first anime that I liked). [Off-topic] Does anybody reading this like black metal? Heavy metal in general? I listen to different types, but here's a few of my favourites: Schweisser, Emperor, Versailles (JPN), Annihilator, Bethlehem, Sargeist, etc. Of course, that's in addition to all the Rammstein/Megadeth/Immortal archetypes out there that I enjoy. [tl;dr] 'Sup? :lol:
Hello and welcome to the Empty Closets community, Xeifen! I couldn't say it's common or uncommon to suddenly realise that you might like more than just girls. For some of us it happens in an instance (like me), and for some it takes years of denial and self-hatred until they finally realise it's not something they can change and they embrace it. Some never do. What I can tell you, however, is that you did not have a choice. Sexuality is not something one can change as much as they would like to do so. You have only just recently discovered you had that part and that discovery needed an impulse, i.e. you getting upset. If I were you, I wouldn't feel left out nor would I give that thought much time, simply because it is untrue. Yes, I do enjoy heavy metal although I couldn't name a particular song or band since I am not good at remembering names.
To Andrei: Good points... Hope I didn't offend anyone inadvertently (but you all probably have thicker skins than that XD). I guess I just got lucky that I didn't have to go through this self-loathing phase that many talk about. Still, I'm very new to this, so it's not like I'm "done". Nobody is ever "done", I think.
You did not offend anyone, I can guarantee that. I was just pointing out some things I thought might be useful to you. The way I discovered my sexuality happened in one single afternoon, I saw two guys kissing, I loved it and instantly I said to myself "I'm gay". Here I sit, 5 years later, still gay and having never doubted my sexuality.
Hello and welcome! I'm not much into that kind of music but I do like Versailles, but I would consider them more visual-kei. I guess it depends which songs you refer to. I've been lucky enough to see them live, get autographs, and briefly personally talk to them (can't really say they knew any English though) I hope you'll like it here! I'm also new and everyone seem so nice here.
^Riz, That's awesome! Were they close to where you live, or did you have to travel far? What did you ask or talk about? Obviously, they are a visual kei band, but aside from the obvious songs, to me they are also some kind of symphonic or power metal band. *shrug*. ^JayWalker, same to you!
Fairly close, they played at a convention two hours train ride from me. But they've been in Sweden more than once. They are, or was, friends with another Swedish visual band. Hence why I got to meet them. Honestly, I'm too shy so I just stood there and listened while my friends struggled to make conversation. They barely understood us and could only reply in Japanese. Labeling a band is actually pretty hard. But symphonic metal is a good description for visual bands like Versailles or malice mizer.
^CJliving Done! ^Riz I think I've heard of that Swedish band before. What are they called? At least you got to see them ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2015 at 10:26 AM ---------- ^Lazuri What?
Yeah, I'm Riz's fiancée so I know the story of how she met Versailles well. Hizaki demanded prostitutes. Two, if I recall correctly, though he was probably joking.