So my Uncle adopted a girl recently. He also has a biological daughter. My dad was talking about how he treats them both equally, and adds, "They are not fucking equal, one is his daughter and the other isn't." I could hardly believe what I just heard. Of course they are equal! If you adopt a kid they are still your kid, and should be treated as such! I am having a hard time keeping my respect for my Dad... With comments like this. Well at least my uncle has the right idea. And I'm glad my Dad didn't adobt any kids.... What do you think? My Uncle has the right idea right?
While what your dad said is cruel and wrong it is unfortunately part of people's reasoning... I never knew anyone with adopted child however whenever adaption topic comes around everyone praise people who do it and add immediately "It would never take place of your child tho'"... That is probably selfish human nature talking as they don't believe that adopted child would not take care of them when they got old... I find that line of thinking very disturbing but it doesn't make it non existant.
True. I realize that a lot of people think like that. But even still.... it surprises me to hear Dad say that, especially when his own brother has an adobted kid. It is so cruel.
Wow... as an adopted kid myself I'm offended. My mom adopted me from China, then she adopted her own grandkid and she treats us both equally. Your uncle is doing the right thing. Someone should yell at your dad though.
Yeah. Although I realize that arguing with him is pointless. I can't change his mind on anything. But if I hear him say it again I will probably say something anyway. Now that I put some thought into what I would say. And I'm sure he will say it again. When he complains about something, he never does it just once. Also, I'm sure my Unlcle will get pretty mad at him when he hears. If he didn't already.
Whether I end up with a guy or a girl, I intend to adopt, and I'm sure as hell gonna treat those kids right, because adopted kids are still your kids, biology has nothing to do with how much you love the children you raise
I was adopted from there as well. I'm my parents' only child. I never experienced a lot of adoption vs biological prejudice, which I'm glad for. I'm sorry your dad is that way.
It's the family, not the blood that matters as I always say. I mean think about it. What if a child was unwanted and was abused by their 'real' parents, and then was later adopted by a different family who loved and cared for them? Did the 'bio' parents love them more because they had the same blood? Really blood doesn't mean shit anymore. It's also offensive to women who have any kind of infertile or intersex condition; as it shames them and tells them they'll never be able to have a 'real' child to bond with.
It's the family, not the blood that matters as I always say. I mean think about it. What if a child was unwanted and was abused by their 'real' parents, and then was later adopted by a different family who loved and cared for them? Did the 'bio' parents love them more because they had the same blood? Really blood doesn't mean shit anymore. It's also offensive to women who have any kind of infertile or intersex condition; as it shames them and tells them they'll never be able to have a 'real' child to bond with.
Your father's solution is that your uncle should emotionally abuse the adopted one by telling her she's not a worthy or real member of her own family? He seems a charming man.
That's what it sounds like yeah... Honestly, I always thought of him as an OK father. Very closed minded, and doesn't understand me much at all. But at least he always tried to help us as much as possible. He clearly cares about me and my brothers a lot. And I always respected him for that. But... This is something that I just can't look past. I can't say he is an "OK father" if this is truly what he believes. I am going to talk to my mother sometime soon about this. Just to see what she thinks. Hopefully I at least have one good parent. She was always a little more open minded at least... ---------- Post added 23rd Dec 2014 at 06:01 PM ---------- I never really spoke to people about adoption much. So I never got a good idea of how much prejudice there is toward it. Until I learned of my cousin this week I never knew anyone who was adopted either. But I am happy to hear you didn't experience it too much.
I got three things out of this: 1. Your father is a horrible person and is absolutely wrong. 2. Adopted kids deserve just as much love and attention as biological kids. 3. Your father needs to shut the hell up and quit being a horrible person.
I think adopting is a very noble thing to do. Kudos to your uncle for making the decision to share his love and family with someone who might not have gotten the chance otherwise! I hate this twisted belief that adopted children aren't "real" somehow. I hope no one in my family ends up shoving this belief in my face when I eventually have a family (I fully plan on adopting).