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Coming Out letter (draft)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Cubiculum, Dec 22, 2014.

  1. Cubiculum

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    I've drafted a letter for my dad. I don't intend to send it anytime soon, but I wish to plan what I'm going to say. I would appreciate any criticisms you may have.

    Hello father,

    If you're reading this it means that in a few minutes, you will have a whole different perspective of our times together.

    That beginning may have left you with a worried impression, but I'm hoping that what I'm going to say won't be disconcerting to you. Don't worry, I've not got cancer; I'm not dying; I'm not being bullied; I'm not bloody pregnant.

    I am gay.

    Even if you're disbelieving or upset, I urge you to carry on reading. I've known I was different since a tender, young age, and I've struggled with fully accepting myself, as I've always feared your reaction could be negative. Only recently have I come to terms with who I am, and I wouldn't change my feelings for the world.

    I realise that I must've unleashed a flood barrier in your mind. You could be angry, you could be upset, you could be confused, you could be shocked. I'm sincerely hoping you will be supportive of my, shall we say, lifestyle. Please appreciate the fact that nothing you can say or do will make me change.

    I want you to realise that, while this news may be immensely shocking, I am still the same friendly, silly, witty boy you've known for the past 14 years. Being gay hasn't given me a clean slate, or an empty canvas. My life will carry on as normal.

    I would wholeheartedly appreciate it if you shared your honest thoughts on this news. I'd be much more comfortable knowing the truth, however brutal it may be, than worrying that I've secretly disappointed you but you choose to hide it for my sake. Please tell me if you're upset. I honestly will not think any less of you for your opinion.

    P.S. [cousin name] is the only other family member that I've told. All my school friends know too. Everyone has been totally supportive and I hope that will not change with you.

    Love you lots,
    Elliott
     
  2. Hemlock

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    You seem to cover all of the bases. Though I'm curious as to why you're choosing to send a letter. Do you not live with your father? Or would it simply be too difficult to tell him in person?
     
  3. Cubiculum

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    I do live with him, but I'd much rather tell him via a letter than in person. I'm unsure of how I'll manage to send it to him and how he'll read it without me there, but I'll find a workaround.
     
  4. Peacemaker

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    that sounds great dude and for some reason you sound mature
     
  5. Cubiculum

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    Thank you. I want to sound mature and responsible, rather than just giving him the news and ending it there.
     
  6. Peacemaker

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    oh well good job then
     
  7. redneck

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    Overall pretty good but I would make the following edits:

    "You could be angry, you could be upset, you could be confused, you could be shocked" I'd delete this because he doesn't need you to tell him how he feels.

    "I want you to realise that, while this news may be immensely shocking"
    "Even if you're disbelieving or upset, I urge you to carry on reading" I'd delete these too for the same reason as above.
     
  8. Cubiculum

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    Good idea, thank you.
     
  9. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    you write very well. personally, I like the idea of a letter. it gets all the thoughts down on paper. sometimes in a face to face conversation, the other person hijacks the moment with questions, arguments, or just interruptions, and you end up not saying all that needed to be said; which all comes back to you as you replay the conversation in your head a thousand times. Once he has read the letter, then you can have that conversation, hopefully with polite tones all around, and coming from love and a desire to strengthen the relationship. and even if you end up not giving him the letter, or it just comes out at some point, writing the letter helps you to focus your thoughts.
     
  10. jess1531

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    This letter sounded very genuine and straight from the heart. It also sounded very mature and professional. I would most defiantly consider giving it to your father because it was so well written! all i know is whenever you give him this letter i hope he still loves you the same way. This letter is great! keep your head up. Thats what you have all of us for!