Small Victories

deep breath sister. the doc seems like she gets it, i think you'll be fine. the money i wish i could advise you. but even a visit or two before Christmas might be doable, and get you through the holidays.

and feminization by the drugs does have it's plus side especially if i can get my hair back.

BTW a 'bubbly Brooke' is a good thing.....

 

We'll see. I'm thinking at least one visit should be doable. Then insurance, though I don't know that she takes my plan...

 

important to know for sure.

i was going to mention earlier but got called away. i walked in the Christmas Parade in the capital today with the local pflag chapter, fantastic group, and came out as Sarah to my friend who is one of the faciliators and after i just referred to myself as female to the group. let folks figure it out, haha. i also showed the pics i took from the other week of me in makeup, wig, etc. it was liberating.

one other point, you could call the visit a Christmas present from the old you to the real you. if you celebrate Christmas that is.

 

Yes, a Christmas present from Greg to Brooke!

That sounds really awesome, Sarah! I can't wait to actually come out to people as Brooke.

I have a victori(a): I've finally settled on a middle name. I'm going with Victoria. My name is Brooke Victoria. Still not sure I want to keep my last name after I get disowned. I'll deal with that when the time comes.

 

a lovely combination. im going with Sarah Dena. sort of an omage to the guy who went through so much to get me here.

 

I'm going with either Akari Zoe, or Zoe Akari, as long as things stay civil with my family I will be keeping the last name. Mainly, stay civil with my parents being the requirement.

semi-related victory. I just tried to schedule my first therapist appointment again, was too nervous to do it over the phone so I used the online form again. I do have to wait til next week on thursday. hope this week and next week aren't too bad at work, that's where a large chunk of dysphoria comes from with customers saying "sir" all the time x.x

---------- Post added 5th Dec 2016 at 01:43 AM ----------

it is a victory, just a minor vent about the potential stuff that can happen between now and the therapy session.

 

both very nice. and congrats on making your appointment, a very big step in sorting things out.

 

The only thing that could complicate things is my brother, I think he may try to cause drama when I finally transition and it becomes noticable.

 

brothers will do that, but may surprise you.

 

doubt it... he is already problematic with refusing to use my pronouns even with friends who know.

 

well there is always hope

 

I still get called she and daughter, but I got son, brother, and nephew cards from family for my birthday. No grandson, but we're getting there. Maybe next year - at least now I know I'm not just being ignored.

 

That stupid people. I mean you got both looks and behavior. Your writing is so feminine sometimes that I think my screen will turn pink

 

I would like to keep my last name, I will as long as things stay civil. (My mom is still pretending I never told her and it isn't a thing, but at least she isn't treating me any different, which gives hope).

I can't stop calling myself Brooke Victoria in my head!

 

I was saying your name aloud, but I added any old last name in my head, and it actually does work really well.

 

It does. I've been running a bunch of potentials through my head, and it really works great with most things:

Brooke Victoria Sherwood(is naming myself after a hockey stick brand cheesy?)
Brooke Victoria Riley
Brooke Victoria Lucas(I was thinking George Lucas, but then I remembered the One Tree Hill implications, so probably not. lol)
Brooke Victoria Gregory(that's literally just using my birth first name as a last name)

Or hell, maybe I'll just keep my last name. Fuck em. (It would be great revenge that I'm "dragging it through the mud!)

 

After about 3 months of struggle, today I met with the director of my school and we agreed on making the teachers call me by my desired name. Gosh I'm happy

 

I like Brooke Victoria Lucas (which I don't necessarily associate with any shows... but then again never seen One Tree Hill)...

Also keeping your last name could also be good.