Small Victories

Two recently:

-Getting my already short (but was growing longer) hair cut much shorter to a hairstyle I like better. My face is still pretty feminine but at least I'm alright with the haircut at the moment.

-I plucked up the courage to have a direct conversation with my mom about LGBT+ (mainly transgender) issues. I was speaking from the POV of an educated ally (as far as she knows), but through the conversation I was able to first inform her that transgender people exist, and secondly had a bit of a chance to explain what it means. At least now she knows a bit more, which is a huge step from before this point. She also sat through the discussion quite patiently and I'm really grateful she didn't shout or automatically dismiss anything. So I'd say that's a pretty big step forward.

 

Im not sure if this is a victory or not. Last Friday night was rough for me, totally lonely, really wanting some companionship, My son was home and hanging out with his friends online but really not the kind of company i wanted/needed; some one to snuggle with while we watched tv or something. what i realized later as i lay in bed struggling to get to sleep was that i wanted, strongly, to be a woman with a partner, a real partner, someone to count on and spend my time with. being Bi-gender that feeling has flucuated somewhat since but i know i wouldnt really have any qualms about being that woman spending my friday night watching tv and snuggling on the couch.

Im going to a couple of fund raisers this weekend, and last night i was thinking about what skirt to wear with what shoes and blouse.... knowing im not out and this is not the best town to do it in.....

 

I recently posted here but I'll post again; I'd say this counts as a small victory? I made a, what turned out to be quite long, video in which I talked a lot about my gender and my experiences. It's really meant just for me to keep as a record, but it still felt really good to be able to talk it all out, even if nobody else is around to listen or ever see it.

 

much like writing in a journal having it all "laid out" gives a persecpective that we don't get just in our heads. victory? yep!

 

True! Really helped me sort some things out, ranting to myself in front of the camera (I usually write these things down but I had way too much to say this time around) At least I do have a record now of my gender progress up to this point. Thanks for the support (*hug*)

 

Right on Sister.

 

Started to have people refer to me by my preferred name. I got a lot of comments like, "Oh that's pretty!" or, "That sounds so natural and unique!" I would change it to something more "masculine" but I think my name conveys both sides of me... Also, I've grown attached to it...(!)

 

I totally came out on facebook to a resounding hooray from my friends...jsyk

---------- Post added 8th Feb 2016 at 02:31 PM ----------

And it was a "first birthday" post too

 

way to go!! and congratulations on your "birthday"

 

Actually it IS my 23rd AND simultaneously my #0 birthday as me

 

My intake appointment at the gender clinic went really well- I'm being assigned a therapist soon, and we might have an appointment with an endocrinologist to see if I can take puberty blockers (I'm probably too young for T, but it's a huge start).

I feel like I'm finally making progress.

 

I'm glad to hear you're making progress Cody! Also, on the T question from what I've heard from my friends who are transmen and looking into this on my own to be more educated about this subject, if you are at the age where puberty would be going on you are most likely able to take T. It would be something to talk to your doctors about, but I think 14 should be fine, as I've heard stories of transguys starting T as young as 11. I have also heard that some people will look at their other guy classmates and see when they start puberty and that's when they decide to start.

 

Awesome. Yeah, I have no idea when you can start T but blockers are a very good start and should make a huge difference

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I'm one step closer to starting T. I'm enrolled with a new insurance company so I've had to spend a few weeks figuring everything out. Well, I explained to the rep I was talking to on the phone to get me established with a PCP that I was transgender and (by the way Kaiser Permanente is AWESOME with trans patients so if you live in a state that offers it, go for it) and apparently there's a clinic up in Portland that offers hormones/more trans specific stuff.

From what I've heard, my PCP might be able to prescribe hormones too so here's hoping. I just hope I can get on Androgel instead of injections.

 

I know this is a super tiny victory but I have made up my mind to do whatever makes me happy and starting my transition makes me happy! I plan to buy a binder ASAP and come out to everyone as well as cut my hair off!

 

that sounds FAR from tiny, dude.

 

I have a gender appointment March 1st. This should get me a referral to a gender clinic, or maybe even more. We'll see what happens. But I'm so excited!

 

Gender clinic appointment on March 1st too. Also have a PCP appointment next week so getting closer to starting T either way.

 

I picked another name for myself.