Recently my dysphoria has gotten a lot worse and i have quite a few reflective surfaces in my place, so i've been trying to avoid them...anyone have the same feelings?
Yes. Quite frequently. That is also why I never like using pictures of myself on forum sites or social networking sites. I just don't like looking at my face, or showing it to others.
*hugs* I know that feeling, for years and years i've always wandered why i didn't like my picture, voice or body...now i know :/
I know this exact feeling. For me, I am a media major, and I hated recording my voice and being on camera. I was forced to see myself as who I was... and I did not like that. Maybe you can try to experiment and change the things that you do not like so that you feel better about yourself? That also may help you to figure out your gender identity more.
It always surprises me when I catch my reflection, and I realize I've been avoiding looking at myself in the mirror without even thinking about it. Sometimes I look away quickly and other times I just stand there shocked and study myself for awhile thinking "Is that really me?" I loath recordings of my voice with a burning passion. I have, strangely enough done some modeling though and five years of semi-professional theater. When I'm playing a character its a lot easier to do those things, but I still don't like hearing my voice. When I'm looking at myself abstractly for a role or photo shoot Its like I'm looking at someone else and then I don't mind looking in the mirror critically. Haven't done any of that in a while though.
I'm exactly the same, it seems like such a stupid question when we ask who that is in the mirror...but its not :/ You did modeling? Wow SAME!! I've always hated my voice, always always always!!
Taking voice lessons helped me with that a lot. Even though my voice isn't what I want, I think that sort of training helped me to feel more comfortable using it. Since I took lessons was when I was 14-19 it helped me stop straining my voice to try and make it lower. Its like "My voice is high because I made it high to hit that note" instead of "My voice is high and I don't know why." Don't know if that sounds helpful or not :lol:
How's the health care in Canada? It's free here, but lots of waiting and waiting for gender services I've heard x
It depends. A lot of health care is free. But stuff like therapy and, I imagine voice training, can be quite expensive.
Due to my age, my face is still vaguely androgynous and so I can stand it, most of the time. I also find it impossible to make out any masculine features in it, even though others do, to me my face looks feminine and female. Which is weird.
Agreed, I mean I'm 19 and I think that I have quite a femm face, others have told me on here that they thought I was trans male or buch female just from my face pics, which is pretty weird but comforting in a way too
You can find vocal coaches relatively cheap in my area- about 10USD for and hour+ but that's not going through health services or anything. That was networking with my sister's piano instructor... Photos don't bother me much, not like mirrors or videos do. I really don't like videos.
Videos also suck aye :/ I have no idea what the system is for voice therapy here...i have a feeling that you have search it out for yourself