What are you thinking?

Today managed to be tiring, but not overwhelming. Therefore... it was a good day.

 

I just wasted another saturday... Going to bed, getting ready for pre-monday.
This job, this debts, this cold bed, this meaningless life...

 

I'm a metal fan....?

Okay *rolls with it*

 

This has been such a lethargic day. Nothing going on.

 

Oh, well. I tried. Guess nothing's going to help me now.

 

must. stop. getting. distracted.

 

I had a nice day by the tracks today, It felt good to get my break up off my mind.

 

Coughing small amounts of blood and having stomach pains, on a saturday/sunday, "fun" stuff... Guessing it's not something serious, due to how insignificant both factors were.

On a side note, i have been thinking about how i can help this one friend who is struggling with stuff... As well as trying to manage my own struggle with the one i liked. It's quite difficult to balance stuff together, all the while constantly feeling tired due to sleep deprivation.

On the bright side! I installed this cool little app called "Sleep Cycle". And will be giving it a first run in about 50 minutes, at around 5:30AM. Quite curious if it will actually work, it does promise to wake you up in accordance to the sleep cycles. I'm quite optimistic about it working, not so much as me actually being able to get a good night's sleep.

 

Wait whut, I have 59 posts in this thread?! This is shameful.

 

I should be doing something productive

 

I'm thinking about my family, and my dog. i miss them all so much. I'm also thinking that I should really make a start on my coursework... but, I doubt that'll happen until the day before it's due .-.

 

I'm done Xmas shopping!!!!

 

Spirit in the Sky is an awesome song.

 

I think it says something about me that I found a picture of a purposefully creepy conjoined twin doll (google "creepy twins") immediately added it to my wishlist and wanted to cuddle with it.

I also found a pregnant baby doll... and immediately wanted to shoot whoever came up with it. And marketed it. It's just wrong on so many levels.

 

Found an extra binder I had buried away in my closet, so I'll be getting around to donating that sometime this week. It kinda made me laugh at the fact that, when I was just starting to figure myself out, I remember seeing all of these guys talking about binders, and doing binder giveaways, and I was so clueless enough that I thought every trans guy got a school binder full of resources or something along those lines, and then I figured out what it actually was shortly after and felt incredibly stupid. Heh.

I, also, was browsing pre-T pictures of myself and I guess it never really hit me, or I assumed that my face/body never changed all that much, but I've made a lot of progress in the past few months. I feel a lot healthier, look a lot more like myself. It never really hit me until now. It's a nice feeling.

 

Why do I live in Atlanta still? I didn't choose to live there, and I have no choice but to live there right now. I have to go for my Master's and keep my job on campus. I hate coming up here to New York and then realizing that I have to go back in a freaking day :/.

There's so much to do here, so much culture. You can find any restaurant, store pertaining to any nationality here. The subway system takes you anywhere you want to go. Good school system. Everything within walking distance. Gigantic skyscrapers everywhere, along with suburban rowhouses, parks galore. You don't need a car to live here. A lot of childhood memories here. I know how to get around anywhere in this huge city, know the neighborhoods ("Oh, you're from Bayside? Park Slope? Riverdale? Cool!"). I can seriously walk down 2-3 miles from my house to the nearest shopping center and recall what restaurants are good, what good hangout spots there are. There's just no other place like it and I feel like I belong here.

Why the hell do I have to live in Atlanta? I f***ing miss New York .

 

Baby's first baby: Molly was the most popular toddler in the daycare until, whoopsies, her game of patty cake with little Tommy ended up with a little bummpy bump. Play with Molly in various play sets (not included), including "baby's first media appearance", "baby's first exoriscm" and finally "baby's first planned parenthood visit" and make many, fun life changing decisions that will leave Baby's Ashamed Parents reeling.

(I'm so sorry)

 

Thanks Mirko (*hug*)

The holiday seasons are hard that's all.