Many of us will have been wounded in one way or another by other people. It might be something to do with coming out as LGBT, or something completely unrelated, but I'm sure many people on this forum will know what it's like to be hurt by others. It's often said that you need to forgive to begin to heal? What do you think? Is that how it's been for you? What does forgiveness mean to you and how easy do you find it to forgive? Does "sorry" make a difference or do you need more than that forgive? Anything you'd like to say about forgiveness?
I always forgive when I can. Holding onto a grudge won't do you any good. However, There are things which can be forgiven but not forgotten.
me and my bromance buddy have the forgiveness rule. We know were not perfect and annoy the other person at times but usually within 24 hours we talk about whatever is bothering us and just let it go. Its part of our strong friendship.
It depends. I allways forgive but I never forget if it's a small thing ok sorry that's the end but something bigger might be a different story. There are people I'm not going to be angry but I will never trust them again
Depending on what it is, and how much I let it get to me, it may take a while to forgive someone. However, I will forgive them. I have to, because allowing something they did to me, to influence and control me, is allowing them to win. I won't let ignorance or hatred keep me down, or distract me from my life. If I am unable to forgive, then I'm only allowing a basis for negativity to fester, growing like a cancer inside of me until... it ruins me, or it destroys me. That said, I'm not foolish enough to forget. I may not focus on what you did, but I will recall that you did it. As the old saying goes, fool me once, shame on you... You have to learn from setbacks. You have to overcome pain. By doing so, not only do you become stronger, but you can be in a better position to move forward, as well as lend a hand to others. You have to be the example that you, yourself, wished you had to emulate, for others now. I once let hatred fuel me, and while I enjoyed the sensation it gave me, it was only destroying everything around me. In the end, had I continued to walk that path, I'd have been standing, alone, with nothing else, but myself, to sacrifice to that hatred. Kind of a waste, when I thought about it like that. Hatred gives you power, but it also bestows upon you isolation; hatred gives you pride, but it also bestows upon you scorn; hatred gives you purpose, but it also bestows upon you this lie. Whether or not someone apologizes, it only makes a slight difference, to me. Sure, if they mean their apology, it makes the forgiving process easier to begin, let alone do. But if they don't, well, I kind of like the challenge. Once upon a time, I wouldn't have, but now, yeah, I would and do. It allows me to show how far I've come, by being able to release any negativity about, or towards, someone who still harbors such about, or towards, me. You can only truly see how far you've come, if you are faced with reality, and not some friendly fantasy.
First of all, this was very beautifully written. I enjoyed reading it because it is so very true, and I know because I've been there too. I believe in giving someone a second chance. I've lived too much of my life hating people and it just made me hate myself more... it was destructive and it wasn't a part of my nature being a hateful person... it was breaking me. I'm glad I overcame it, and even though I have never received an apology from those that hurt me, I forgave them. I'm not really the type to remember the wrongs a person did when I know they are doing their best to make a change. Yeah it is there, I know what they did... it hurt... but I'm sure that making them remember also hurts them. So, I think is best to just keep it like a memory and nothing more.
The hard part of forgiveness is when they continue to hurt you time and time again after you forgive them.
This is true. I believe in second chances... not infinite ones. I don't think it's healthy to be in that kind of relationship, either romantic or as friends, because it's only hurting you more. I think we should know when to stop giving chances to people, if the change of heart is not there then why keep with it?
When you been so hurt and discriminated in your life like I have been it makes it very hard to forgive or even forget. Some things are forgivable and I forgive sometimes but if something really is unjustified than it might be less forgivable and in that case I could hold one hell of a grudge. Well that is why Jesus died for our sins because he knew that forgiveness required a higher power.
I can be very passive aggressive, so if someone has angered me or upset me, I will let them know, but I won't be cold or distant towards them. It'll appear like I have forgiven them, but inside, I'll still be pissed, and will feel angry still. There are things that relatives have said or done to me years ago that I still remember and feel pissed off about, and I still have negative feelings towards them, but I act normal when I see them. I don't dislike them for what they said to me, but I still feel angry about it. There are some relatives that I refuse to talk to though, because they repeatedly offend and anger me, and other people. I have one relative who stole money from her own children, lies repeatedly and talks shit about people when they're not around. I refuse to even be in the same room as her - really unpleasant person.
I forgive when nothing will be gained by revenge, which is most of the time. However, some injustices must be prevented, and if forgiveness stops me acting against them, I won't forgive.
I forgive friends once. For family, I can forgive them over and over.. but there are certain things that I will never forgive. When I used to be teased or hurt by bullies or even by my own family regarding LGBT matters, it hurt more than it should've. All I really wanted was acceptance, I wasn't asking for any kind of special treatment. I wasn't asking for everyone to be open about it to everyone else or that we should have some odd celebration prior to me coming out.. but it's like whenever I try to talk about it with them, they shut me out and close right off. There's only so much I can take before I need to leave and let them sort their own problems out.
I always try and forgive. I understand that people make mistakes, and I believe everyone deserves a second chance. I also think it's healthier to forget and move on, rather than hold on to hurt feelings or grudges. However, at the same time, I can see circumstances in which I would find the person unforgivable.
As much as I try to forgive, I'm not capable of it. If someone hurts me and I care about them, I tend to forgive, but if they hurt me really bad, for no reason, I will never forgive them. It's my father's case. He was awful to me and my mother and now I loathe him with every fibre of my being. I tried to forgive him in the past, and every time he would take advantage of it and hurt me even more. He hurt me 3 years ago for the last time. I will never forgive him for all that he did to me. Some things are just unforgivable. This is not the way to live your life, though. If you can avoid being in my situation, do so. Physically, it's not a pleasant sensation to get furious every time he crosses my mind. It's not healthy, either. But to me, as you can see, not forgiving is vital. If I ever forgive him again, I'll regret it. So I possibly cannot forgive him.
I try to forgive everyone, I think about what would Jesus do. It's not good to keep spite or anger inside because it eats you up internally.
I believe in it completely. I have forgiven two of my high school bullies. I do wish I had done it sooner because the pain has eaten me up inside. The hardest and most ironic part is it is harder to forgive friends that have turned on me. There have been a few unfortunately.