You're lucky. I've only been in one relationship and it was with a boy when I was fourteen. I wasn't attracted to him, so I never did more than kiss him on the lips.
Yes, I was repressed but in a very odd way: both emotionally and sexually, but up until few years ago I still had things with guys, so outwardly I had the appearance of being somebody very 'liberated'. Just that I was emotionally and sexually repressed, did not know whom I actually desired, but instead used sex as a means of getting intimacy (which completely backfired in a relationship, which I've felt lacked that connection).
Nope. My way of dealing with being gay was to throw myself into lots of sexual relationships with men, to forget about being gay, and maybe possibly turn me straight. It didn't work. But I wasn't sexually repressed, that's for sure :lol:
Yes in terms of what I actually did and allowed myself to accept, no in terms of urges. I never went further than kissing with boys because I just didn't feel any arousal for them. Emotionally as well I repressed a lot. I did however have very strong sexual urges which were usually prompted by situations not directly involving me. Like if I saw a sex scene on tv or read something erotic I could get turned on but it's only retrospectively that I realise my attention was always on the woman, back then I convinced myself that because I was turned on by straight sex depictions that I must be straight. I also convinced myself that my appreciation of women was just a phase and that I was just one of those people that only ever meets one man they are attracted to and then stays with that person forever, I just hadn't found him yet :rolle: .
Totally. Every time I touched myself, I was thinking "this is stupid and pointless" as I was doing it. Sometimes I even said "F@&# this" and just didn't care. Occasionally I ended up not doing anything for weeks, and even if I did I just felt the urge to cry at the end, it felt like a curse. I didn't enjoy it, and just wanted to get it over as I considered it to be a stupid want of the body and not the mind. And now that I've come out and accepted myself it's the complete opposite! Hornyness ensues.
My teenage "repression" was more a combination of a couple things--the complete disconnect between what I was feeling and what my expectations were, for one, and for another, being totally clueless about what being gay even meant. I completely expected to fall in love with a girl and get married, but girls didn't interest me and boys did, and I assumed all that meant was that I hadn't found the right girl yet. If I had had even the slightest understanding about what "gay" was, I might have put two and two together and been a lot less "repressed" (a.k.a. laughably dense). I was certainly your average horny teenager when I was by myself, and the stuff I tried would have been a dead giveaway if I hadn't been so completely sheltered. And by the time I hit college and started putting two and two together, I was so convinced I had to have a wife and kids that I really DID end up repressed....and later depressed....
I didnt come out till I was 16 & before then My hormones were all over the place and yes I did quite friendly with my right hand.
Yes and no. I always fantasized about girls but thought nothing of it, but then when I came out, I started thinking about girls even more than before, bahahaha.
Not really; I had a lack of interest before and, though I am not out, I still have a lack of interest.