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Feeling completely unhinged right now.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Dinah, May 7, 2014.

  1. Dinah

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    Who am I?? Hmm.

    This is how I have always viewed the world. This is me.
    [​IMG]

    This is how those close to me have always viewed me. Obviously.

    [​IMG]

    This is how I've always wanted people to see me.

    [​IMG]

    This is my inner voice

    [​IMG]

    This is what I wish I could become.

    I've always wanted twin girls (projecting much??), and argued many times with my wife in favor of home birth (projecting much??), and we're not even considering kids yet......well she's not anyway.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Dinah

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    :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 19th May 2014 at 12:48 PM ----------

    Actually I think during one of those "argument's", I may have even said something to the effect of "if I could have kids myself, I would". If I recall that particular argument was about a year ago or more.

    ---------- Post added 19th May 2014 at 12:50 PM ----------

    Alas, I felt like those feelings weren't normal (read: acceptable) and I buried it.....now I've got bite marks on my ass........
     
  3. JSway

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  4. Dinah

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  5. Dinah

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    Watching transition videos. Now feeling angry, bitter, sad, lost, hopeless, unhappy, broken. Why can't I just stop feeling this way??? All I want is to be happy, Atlas never knew he had it so good, he was at least able to keep his world from crashing down around him......I can't even do that much.
     
  6. Dinah

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    Going to talk to my psychologist again tonight. Fear/anxiety/nervousness creeping in again. Will he reiterate his opinion that all this 'research' is dangerous?? Will he avoid the subject altogether?? Worse even, will he try to talk about it. Much afraid. Hurting inside. Hurting SO much. Why can't I just not feel this way.

    :help:

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gende...er-bulletin-read-all-about-7.html#post2046114

     
    #46 Dinah, May 20, 2014
    Last edited: May 20, 2014
  7. BookDragon

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    Will he reiterate his opinion that all this 'research' is dangerous??

    If he does, find a new therapist and lodge a complaint.
     
  8. JSway

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  9. Dinah

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    #49 Dinah, May 20, 2014
    Last edited: May 20, 2014
  10. Dinah

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  11. BookDragon

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    If you want to talk about something you need to bring it up with him, and if you DO bring it up and he won't talk about it or tell's you it's 'wrong' you need to leave.
     
  12. Dinah

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  13. Gates

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    I'm re-posting this. :eusa_clap
     
  14. Dinah

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    :thumbsup: You might (or I could, whichever) also suggest it be posted in the 'Resources - Links' section or in the Gender Identity useful threads topic.
     
  15. Dinah

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    Today, while my wife was at work, I was in the bedroom for some reason or other, and noticed one of her bras (black and pink polkadotted, quite pretty in my opinion). I picked it up and started looking at it, all the while briefly contemplating 'trying it on'. Ultimately I didn't try it, and I put it back down exactly as I'd found it to avoid any chance of her noticing it had been messed with at all.
     
  16. Dinah

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  17. Dinah

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    :dry: Yay, time to renew my professional liability insurance.......
     
  18. Dinah

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    Sitting here idly, all this pent up emotion, feelings of "if I could just run away somewhere I could escape my inner demons", and I'm all too aware that I can't run far enough. No matter where I go or have gone, I have always felt this 'uncontrollable, indescribable, need to crawl out of my skin completely'. Like my outer body is soaked in gasoline and the slightest spark will burn me alive. Bordering on the edge of panic, beginning to get 'shaky'. I feel 'heavy' again. Every nerve ending in my body is lit up like a thunderstorm. I can't sit still.

    LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum:

    ---------- Post added 22nd May 2014 at 08:13 AM ----------

    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=G3o4QMIISZg[/yt]
     
    #58 Dinah, May 22, 2014
    Last edited: May 22, 2014
  19. Dinah

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    aaaannndd........I just dropped half my lunch into dirty dish water.
     
  20. Dinah

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    This is so beautifully, eloquently, right to the core. If you feel inclined to skip or skim over anything in this thread, DO NOT skip over this one.

    [yt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsBHkGldPaQ[/yt]