Okay, first of all I'm new to the forum so hello everyone. Name's Alex. Ok so here's the issue. I've been having anal sex for years now, not as often as I would like but def not a newbie, but most of the time when I have sex as a bottom, at first when the guy puts it in it really really hurts that I can't take it and he has to pull out. After the pain decreases then I let him penetrate me again and the pain goes away. Why does it hurt that bad at the beginning? I do use lube. So what's the prob? Have any of you had this problem?? Thanks.
I've had that problem a million times myself. And I can't figure it out either but I think it's just getting use to mmm hmm.
As a person who anally masturbates often (hopefully someday I can get a real person to penetrate me), I can't "just put it in." As you know, the anal sphincters have to be coaxed open a little bit. Fingering can help this. Also, the rectum is a pretty dry place, and you will need to lubricate yourself with a finger. This also gets your sphincter a little bit more relaxed. I think finger play is pretty essential to anal masturbation or full on sex. You say "most of the time" initial entry is painful. Can you recall the times when it hasn't been? What was different?
Can't speak from experience considering I'm a virgin, but the only reason I could think of this is your anus is reacting the stimulus and tightening and when he pulls out it takes a moment to adjust and realize something is going in there. Try having him finger you beforehand until it loosens up a bit then try and see if that helps.
Probably by drying out the rectum. Also from irritation. I mean, is it your sphincter that hurts when he penetrates, or is it your rectum that's hurting? Contrary to misinformation that gets circulated, anal douching is not a good idea. Instead, you should concentrate on having a good diet with fiber for solid stools and just having complete bowel movements. Also, I'm not sure if you're doing it for your peace of mind or his, but in my opinion, a top shouldn't mind if the bottom hasn't cleaned himself all the way out. Obviously, us bottoms should make an effort, but nobody can always be perfect.
Is your partner having to push his way in, or are you letting him in? Even with plenty of lube it can be painful if you are not actually letting him penetrate you. You need to be relaxed and it's recommended that you perform the same action as when you take a bowel movement (so you are kind of pushing out and opening up as he enters) this should allow for easier penetration past the sphincter. Also, take it slowly - he shouldn't be ramming it in as that can cause tears. Don't just apply plenty of lube around the sphincter, but all the way in too. If you lube up 2, 3 or 4 inches and your partner is 6 or 7 inches you are going to end up feeling some pain once he's all the way in. Experiment with different lubes too. You may find some work better than others.
I think the key here is of cource lube but also just when hes going in just try to relax sphincter like linco said try gently push out like your trying to pass and it should slip in much easier hope it helps and remember there is always time for lube!!
Yeah I think the sphincter is what hurts.. And I douche for my piece of mind.. There are guys that have been douching for years though.
Is it like, really sharp pains? I've had that happen once or twice. It was bizarre, I had no idea what caused it those times but not all the others. We just changed position for a while and it was fine.
It's not the douching. Linco's right. The rectum is designed to be one-way traffic. When you start going the other way, it needs a few seconds to adjust. If you go in too fast, sometimes it'll hurt. Short, sharp pains. Nothing serious. Nothing is being damaged. 100% normal, and not related to douching.
Never. I rely on the standard cleansing practices, and they haven't failed me thus far. The pain I felt felt like it was due to his angle, maybe; both times I was lying flat on my stomach while her entered me from above/behind. We've done that position pain-free countless other times, but the times I had those sharp pains we just switched positions. When we came back to the original position, both times there was nolonger any pain.
Don't do an enema regularly, it upsets the balance of your colon more than you might imagine. Also, anal sex requires a lot of lubrication. A lot. If you think you have too much, you're wrong. There should be significant foreplay involved in stretching the muscle so it won't hurt so much on entry and working on getting plenty of lube in deeper. As a top, I get a lot of enjoyment out of foreplay while prepping my bottom because I really get off on watching his face; your sexual partner(s) should look out for your best interests, too. Also, Linco's right. You can't just let them shove it in. You have to be relaxed, and you have to push down like starting to take a BM. And if a position hurts, don't use that position. Even though I have a preferred position, we don't use it often because it gets me a little too deep if I'm not careful and I tend to be a little too over-enthusiastic and hurt my fiance.