Hi All- My teen son is getting a low "D" in a class and our rule is no video games if he has a grade below a "C". We agreed to this at the beginning of the school year. He says "What am I supposed to do all weekend?" He thinks I am being mean and unfair. Thoughts?
I don't think it's unreasonable. It would be if you expected him to get straight-As, but a C is average, and his grades should be AT LEAST average. Math is my weakness, but even with math I still usually get a C or sometimes even a B.
I do not think you are being unreasonable. The only subject I was allowed to make a C in was Math because my parents knew I struggle with that subject. Everything else though was expected to be a B or an A. Good for you though. Stick to your rules. He wants to know what to do on a weekend? Well, I have a few choices. 1. Read and or Study 2. Play outside (not sure if you live in a city where that could be a problem) but if not then playing outside would be a choice.
He's a teenager-most of us think that our parents are being unreasonable and mean even when they are right... it's kind of what we do. As long as you don't expect him to have straight As, it's fine. Maybe you can offer to help him with the subject if he's struggling with it.
Thanks all! With all the changes in his life this year I've been very patient and put no pressure on grades.(ok never have) but He was previously an "A" student so know he is smart enough to pass his classes w/little effort.
Just be sure and provide him the help he needs to improve the grade itself. Since I have no children myself it's hard for me to say if taking privileges away is appropriate (it probably is) - but I would be willing to say with more certainty that merely punishing and providing no instruction in turn could lead to making it worse.
ya its fine but don't expect him to get straight A's. The way people have made the system now a days its nearly impossible.
Don't put pressure on the grades themselves; just make sure he's putting in a reasonable effort and trying to do his best. If you're convinced he's just slacking off I don't think there's any problem with your restrictions.
I would find out why he made the grade he did. Was he slacking off in class and not paying attention? Was he not doing his homework? Is he not understanding the material? Is there something going on at school to cause it? It's not exactly fun to be punished for not understanding how to do something or because something's going on at school that's out of one's control. However, if he's just slacking/not doing the work, then yes, it's justified.
I like video games, but I think it's valuable to make sure a kid knows how to amuse themselves without video games, too. It builds creativity to try to amuse yourself.
I don't think it's unreasonable. He could try studying this weekend to bring up his math grade so he can play his video games. If he's bored depending on where you live and the weather he could go outside, draw, watch tv.
A D is almost an F. Why is he getting that grade? If he's struggling, he needs support. If he's screwing around, try positive reinforcement of good grades rather than negative reinforcement of bad grades. Be choosy about what you take away and for how long though. If you take away big things one after another, he becomes a man with nothing to lose. I was once a man with nothing to lose. I had a room with a bed and a dresser. When you're sitting on rock bottom, what encouragement do you have to do good? I didn't care what I did at that point because my mom had run herself totally out of options. Just make sure he isn't having a legit need for help and support before punishing him.
I get what you mean, but the video game console is hardly necessary to his existence. It's really a privilege that he needs to learn to work for in order to keep. Since it was the agreement they had in the beginning, I think OP's son needs to learn how to keep his end of the bargain. The demands she is making on him are very, very low anyway. OP, not only you are justified to do what you are doing, you really need to do it. If you back down on this one, he'll try it with something else and expect you to back down, too, and you'll never have peace anymore. Trust me, he'll live. If I can live without the internet for weeks at a time, he can live without the video games for a weekend (or more, really). Stay strong and don't give in.
If it was a B that he had I'd say that's a bit unreasonable, but a D...he's being an irritable teenager. I would know, I can be the same way stick to your rules, if he wants video games back he can bring the grade up. It shouldn't be THAT hard to make a 70, should it?
Read a book, study, breathe, keep your heart beating..... We all think that our parents are mean and unreasonable and deep down inside, we know that we're in the wrong at times. Don't worry, just take away his console(s) (unless he's a PC gamer, then just take out the mouse if he's a fan of shooting games, trust me) and let everything play out. If push comes to shove, then change the wi-fi password until his grades shape up, don't let him go out with friends anymore until grades go up, and/or make him deactivate his Facebook and change the password. It might seem harsh, but these are usually distractions from school. I speak from experience since all those punishments happened when I got a C in Science a few years ago.
nope. you're being nice to him actually lol, my mom would've just unplugged my entire system until i get my grades up. you can definitely think that it actually worked (not saying this to encourage it! haha this actually happened) tell him to study and,aside from dogs, that knowledge is a man's best friend, convince him that you might not know when it will come in handy!
If anything, that's not "mean" enough! Aim for B at the least, because the higher you aim, the higher you shoot, and high school is one of those critical areas for developing good habits in one area universities look into. No, being unfair would be letting him go into the real world totally unprepared. Tell him why you're being tough on him, and that one day he'll look back and be thankful his parents pushed him into succeeding. Just try to balance strict demands with equal amounts of praise, and perhaps develop a reward system when he meets those expectations. Show him that his interests and academics meet in some areas, and if he needs tutoring or study groups, look into that. Also, encourage him to get involved with other activities so he doesn't neglect his social life, extracurricular activities, or work experience, for example. If he starts seeing school as a challenge to be conquered, and stays on top of things, he'll find it more enjoyable in the long-run.