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The BIG Married and Gay thread..

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Richie., Feb 9, 2014.

  1. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Tscott,

    You said it all so damn well.

    Tom
     
  2. Richie.

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    This is my story too! With my wife I was a performer, I said recently being with a guy was effortless..

    Very we'll put..

    Someone said To me recently that god put me and my wife together in order to bring our two wonderful children into the world.. Without us getting together our kids would never of been born... Which is true and for my that is a travesty to think about.

    Life is what it is, and things happen when they happen...
     
  3. Choirboy

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    Things do happen for a reason--and the reason is usually that it seemed like the right thing to do at the time, based on what we knew and what we felt.

    Life is a series of binary code decisions, on/off switches that send us here or there and lead to new decisions that lead us in still different directions. Not all of our decisions were good, but not all of them were bad, either. It's always tempting to think that the road we took was the wrong one, and the "road not taken" would have led us to riches or happiness or love. It's not really that simple.

    As you say, Richie, you have a couple kids who would never have existed had you and your wife never gotten together. I feel the same way. I asked my wife for a divorce 10 or 12 years ago and backed off; had I gone through with it, things would be very different, but whether they would be better or worse is something I can never know. (I might never have come to EC, and what a bunch of colorful characters I would have missed out on!)

    Point is - we are where we are in life, and we decide day by day, minute by minute, second by second, where we will be next. The consequences may be good or bad, but we decide because it seems like the right thing at the time. There's no point in second-guessing what happened 10 or 20 years ago--you can't change it. All you can do is what you think is best and right, and keep moving forward.
     
  4. GayDadStr8Marig

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    I concur 100%, well said my friend. Now, where's the damn WD-40, these :***: hinges are rusted shut... :icon_bigg
     
  5. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    You going to let a flimsy door stop you?

    Pull an Olympic Sochi door escape.

    [​IMG]
     
  6. GayDadStr8Marig

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    LMAO, love ya dude! (*hug*)

    if I were smart I'd just throw a brick through the window or glass door I installed last year... :wink: Yeah, if I were smart I'd have left over bricks laying around to use, but nooooo, had to keep everything nice and tidy in the closet and buried all the damn bricks, so now I gotta dig 'em up. :lol:
     
  7. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    So your closet has a view!!! ?

    Mine has an Olympic sized pool with three story water slide. :slight_smile:

    To
     
  8. farmgirl

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    I was wondering how your husband deals with jealousy? or is that an issue at all?

    ---------- Post added 14th Feb 2014 at 06:24 PM ----------

    I can just hear the sarcasm now, "geez dad, sure you'll take me to go camping with your gay friends but not just me" ... (well, maybe not, he's a good kid and we used to do tons of stuff together, everyone's just so busy and I've been so run down fortifying my closet; just more of that self-defeating attitude I gotta get over.)
    :bang:[/QUOTE]

    I have a big self-defeating attitude. It makes for some great laughes when I use that attitude about myself to make people laugh. It's how I please people! As for camping...I live in the country so I get enough of the great outdoors from that. Also, I hate the bugs...:slight_smile:
     
  9. GayDadStr8Marig

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    oh do I have tales about bugs, that had to be the biggest gay sign never noticed when I was growing up. seriously, a highschooler squealing like a girl's about roaches. who couldn't figure that out?!

    small town kids, no imagination?
     
  10. GayDadStr8Marig

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    not much of a view, more like being an exhibit at the zoo. sometimes a visitor wanders by, can't figure out what it is they're looking at and just shake their head and move along.

    wait til my kids hear about the pool and waterslide, they'll be begging to visit!
     
    #90 GayDadStr8Marig, Feb 14, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2014
  11. skiff

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    Hi,

    Pool not so great. After all it is a closet and the only way to fill it was repressed tears. Started out as a a kiddie pool but grew over time.

    I envy people who can openly cry. I did cry once in my twenties over something stupid and lost control, not being able to stop.

    Funny...

    As a kid there two forms of punishment; being spanked on butt, sent to room. We were rarely sent to room and I was happy about that. It was so much easier and quicker to shut down and ignore being spanked than the tedium of being sent to your room.

    I think I was the deal breaker on not sending kids to room as punishment. I was about six and had been sent to my room. Warm, sultry summer evening and others were out playing. I sat on the side of my bed, elbows on window sill as I watched others play outside. Between the panes of glass the wooden mutton ?) screamed to be chewed. That window bears my teeth marks to this day.

    Funny the things you remember.

    It speaks volumes about me being closeted. With my mother how things "looked" was so much more important than reality. That chewed window galls her to this day. It looks bad. Imagine having a gay son.

    Hindsight.

    Tom
     
  12. Richie.

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    I'm feeling good today. Missus is awesome. I have just had my first lie in in about three months.

    Hope your all good xx

    ---------- Post added 15th Feb 2014 at 12:04 PM ----------

    Hey Tom I know there is a slight age gap between us but this is how I was raise too. But I was beaten at times.

    My dad slept on the sofa for all of my teens because of the worry of how it would it would look if they split. I believe my nan had a huge hand in judging my parents into staying together

    It was all a cherade. And it meant being raised in an unhappy home which I think suited my nan quite well. Which is why she is so unimpressed with my decisions. God knows how she will cope with me being gay. If I ever tell her...

    Oh well.
     
  13. bottomsup

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    Hi all, new here.
    Life is good today.
    Yesterday was a hard day, every val day is, but it all worked out good.
    I am gay, its all I can think about, every touch, every look, every step...
    love to all and more posts later.. Makup shopping now..:slight_smile:
     
  14. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    Yeah... In summer, family going for ride in car. Windows up, kids melting in sweltering car, mother protecting hairdo from wind telling us "People will think the car has air conditioning.

    Not if they see the kids dying of heat in backseat they won't. Total denial of reality, all based in others perception.


    Your Nanna was from the same generation as my parents.

    Tom
     
  15. Richie.

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    Hey nice to see a fell Brit here x. Glad you made it through the big V day :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 15th Feb 2014 at 12:22 PM ----------

    Wow tom. That's crazy lol. Yes it all becomes clear that generation seems more damaged than any other IMO. We had a show in the UK called 'keeping up appearances'. I never watched it but it's how I feel my nan and her generation lived
     
  16. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    We see all your shows... Was that the one with Mrs Bucket who pronounced it "bouquet"?

    Any successful UK programming gets aired in the US too or is carbon copy reproduced.

    Love the accents. I have an ear for English accents. Brits and Aussies hold my rapt attention in a conversation. Way too much of my DNA has roots there.

    Tom
     
  17. Richie.

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    Lol yes if was! It is an oldie. But it was all about making others think you have the perfect life. Which is BS were all just as messed up as anyone else IMO. No one is perfect
     
  18. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Absolutely!

    Jeremy Irons portrayal of Sherlock Holmes brilliant.

    Wooster and Geeves great actors both.

    Amazing actor Hugh Laurie and how well he buries his UK accent to play the character House.

    Another great, cannot remember name... Was in "I Ceaser" and played a detective monk in Middle Ages. Gay I believe.

    ---------- Post added 15th Feb 2014 at 05:02 AM ----------

    Hey Richie,

    Do you think growing up during the Great Depression shaped your Nanna, my parents (that whole damn generation) to focus on perception rather than reality, which of course shaped the baby boomers?

    Now my grandparents were born in late 1800's and very early 1900's. There are pictures of my grandfather as a child wearing a dress. He indicated it was common for boys and girls to wear hand me down clothes regardless of boy or girl. Nothing was wasted. A young girl in pants a young boy in dress perfectly acceptable, nobody batted an eye.

    My mother sees those old photos as a young boy in a dress and is aghast. To me they are just curiosities of a different time.

    Your thoughts? Sounds like we may have to make you an honorary boomer. :slight_smile:

    Tom
     
  19. Richie.

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    hugh Laurie is a legend IMO. Not sure what you mean by honorary boomer, but I'm in :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:.

    Oh we'll like they say, it was the Great Depression it affected us all,and our previous generations even more so.. A knock on effect. Just gotta let bygones be bygones...
     
  20. Choirboy

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    Tom - I think you're thinking of Derek Jacobi? I loved I, Claudius. Bought the two books it was based on and I seem to read and re-read them every time I have to go on a plane anywhere--it's like sitting with an old friend. My mom, sisters and I devoured the show and used to toss random and inappropriate quotes into our conversation. If something was really bad we'd quote Claudius and say it was "indesc-c-c-c-cribeable!" I seem to recall one of us leaving a few fig newtons on a plate, having to leave the room for a moment, and remarking coldly a la Livia, "By the way....don't touch the figs."