Wow there are alot of gay men on this website

Yes i'm a feminine lesbian . even if you don't know my pain thanks for caring (*hug*)

 

I dunno I kinda prefer that their's more gay guys here, makes me feel safer since I feel more comfortable talking with the gender I'm not into.

 

Oh no, you're not a nasty person! Not at all! (*hug*)

I just wanted to provide some explanation as to why internet forums generally tend to skew male.

Actually Empty Closets has a hell of a lot more women and girls than most internet forums I've been on.

For example, I belonged to an internet forum whose focus is discussion of politics and election results. The forum has existed for over 10 years, has almost 3000 members....not one single woman. And in fact even though the forum is not in any way 'gay'-oriented like this one, the majority of the posters are gay males. Asperger's syndrome is also way overrepresented among the membership. But it seems that only socially awkward gay males are interested in discussing county-level election stats from 1948 and redistricting congressional districts in Virginia.

On top of the socially awkward maleness, I think being gay adds an extra layer of social rejection that causes a lot of gay guys in particular to seek refuge in the internet. They might not be able to be out and be who they are to their families, friends, school, job, etc. Their societies reject them for their sexuality, so they seek the global society through the internet to find like-minded people to talk to and relate to. Combined with the general male proclivity toward anti-social/socially awkward personality traits, I would say gay males are actually way overrepresented on the internet compared to our share of the population.

Since, due to masculinity complex, men generally tend to be more homophobic than women, perhaps lesbian girls find it easier to come out to their straight girlfriends (they can even call them girlfriends!) and find support in their real lives, whereas gay boys do not feel comfortable coming out even to their best male friends. There was one terrible case out of a town in Russia a few months ago of a 23-year-old man coming out as gay to his two best friends who he had grown up with since childhood...his best friends tortured and murdered him, they smashed his skull with a stone, cut off his genitals, and raped him by shoving beer bottles up his ass.

And once again, women are just less likely to be prone to the socially awkward personality traits that drive men onto internet forums. (Part of the reason why a lot of the socially awkward straight guys on internet forums are permavirgins, only the socially awkward gay guys are able to meet each other through the internet ).

Anyway I'm glad you find us cute (but not in that way of course), I find lesbian couples adorable too (but not in that way of course). :icon_wink

---------- Post added 22nd Jan 2014 at 02:28 AM ----------

Right now the number on the Boys vs. Girls thread is 476, indicating the girls are winning, I'm pretty sure the girls won a game recently (because I wasn't on EC at the time ), and the boys haven't made it anywhere close to 1000 in quite a while. It's actually been quite an even fight recently, the numbers ranging from 400s to 500s for pages upon pages, indicating a fairly even split.

 

This is actually why I prefer having a female doctor.

If I recall, there is a hot girls thread, no one's posted in it since September though.

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/fun-games/13206-hot-girl-game.html

Though I'm not sure if the staff would prefer making a new thread or continuing that.

--


As for the topic at hand, there's definitely women here, I've noticed though that a lot of them don't really post outside the support forums.

And like Rakkaus, I disagree that gay men dominate the forum and make it uncomfortable for others. Heck, if anything, I'm slightly offended by that comment, as it's implying gay men shouldn't be allowed the same support as everyone else.

 

ahaha umm.. well it's not that bad it's just the closet is kinda sad on it's own.

yeah cause you lack any interest in them so it's like meh whatever.

 

Hi ChloeKiss,

I am sorry to hear that you seem to find more gay men in this forum than women. I just signed up the other day and I am still not familiar with how things roll in this site. But rest assured that regardless of our sexual orientations/genders, we are all here to support, guide and mentor one another and hopefully, grow together as really fabulous individuals.

But I think starting a thread like will attract more women members to respond and hopefully, get to really interact with them.

And as for your "dominate the forum, which makes it less comfortable for others". remark, don't worry, as a proud gay guy, I am not at all offended by that. I'm sure you didn't mean to make anyone feel bad by being a member here. Hell, I would get more offended if someone thought I was straight. Haha, kidding!

Hugs!
Cigsmoker [Sam]

 

I hope more women come

 

We're actually referring to this poster. xD Just none of us ever quoted it, lol.

But yea, welcome to EC.

 

a lot of them have helped me out with my questions too so i guess your right .
I just really like being in the company of other women sometimes

 

That's so sweet, I'd probably come out to friends first and then my parents once I moved out since I know they'll react badly since they disowned and kicked my older brother out when he got a girl pregnant at 16. I'm hoping my friends when I start university will be supportive like that.

 

Oh so sorry, my dear if I misconstrued your remark or understood the wrong way. Haha. I didn't mean to. But you are lovely as well and its nice to meet you as too!

 

Yes, it was a pretty awful case, and goes to show how insecure straight men are in their masculinity that they are willing to torture and murder their lifelong best friend in a homophobic rage just for admitting he is gay. Straight men live in paranoid fear of anything appearing 'gay'.

Women are much less prone to that sort of insecurity and fear of anything appearing 'gay' (which is why women are allowed to call their friends "girlfriends" and go to the bathroom together and all that), and in fact, as mentioned, the hottest trend among straight girls is to have a "gay best friend".

Girls are also more likely to discuss their personal feelings with each other, whereas boys are socialized into thinking that discussing feelings in 'unmanly'.

So lesbian girls are probably more likely to feel comfortable coming out to their real-life straight girl friends for support, without expecting to have their skulls smashed and have beer bottles shoved up their ass...while gay boys fear rejection by their male friends if they ever discussed their sexuality with them so they turn to the internet instead and join EC. (Or the gay boys make friends with girls instead, since females are more likely to both be open to discussing feelings and be more accepting of homosexuality, giving birth to the stereotype of a gay boy having all girls as friends.(&&&))

I'm just trying to provide some logical explanations for WHY they are a lot of gay men on this website.:icon_wink

But oh I'm glad you were able to cure your social anxiety the way you did, I know how tough it is, congratulations. (*hug*)

Unfortunately my social anxiety is rather severe and so far only drugs have managed to work at putting a dent in it, though I'm hoping my work with my psychologist will eventually get me to the point where I can function drug-free.

Like you, I also have bad anxiety about driving and try to avoid driving whenever possible, even though I passed my road test and got my driver's licence at age 17.

But awww, you seem like such a lovely person too! I'm glad you joined EC.

 

Sure but it'll probably be awhile before I come out to them since I need to move out and become stable on my own before risking being kicked out but yeah it's just their very Catholic so I know they'd be against it plus finding out their perfect daughter likes other girls would crush them.