Just a couple of days ago, I posted in the gender identity and expression forums about having been outed as Trans at work. I'm not, however, out about being a lesbian as well. It hit the rumor mill, there was an HR investigation and I'm happy with the results there. I did, in fact, acknowledge that there is some truth to it, but the story was that I'm getting a divorce because I'm taking estrogen and want to grow boobs. Really?! When was I recommended for hormones? And why don't I have them? I'm gonna just own it if asked. And set things straight (as much as a queer can(!)) by telling them it's a deeper issue than just "wanting boobs." What do you think?
If you're comfortable doing so, but personally I'd want to see what they say first. If they were making fun then I would want to explain more, but then equally I think that's something HR should be doing, well, not the explaining part, more the telling your coworkers to shut the hell up part.
Hi, I have to ask... What kind of company actually investigates rumours like this? Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to be born to me. Tom
I came out at my last two jobs the same way. This conversation (related to me by B) sums it up. A: I think we need to talk about Lex. B: What about him? A: I'm thinking he might be...y'know...a fag. B: Really? What gave you that idea? Was it when he was making out with his boyfriend at the Christmas party last night? A: Oh, you saw that, too? B: Yeah. Right after I saw you making out with your girlfriend. If I don't have a problem with one, I ain't gonna have a problem with the other. A: (long pause) Fair enough. Lex
I am so sorry that this happened to you. Reading what state you're in helps to put this in context. Where I'm from, we have protections for Trans individuals and the highest ranking trans person is a Dean, and also serves on the University's Board of Trustees. Your story reminds me that as a country, we have a long way to go to ensure security, safety and support for everyone, regardless of where they may live or work.
No, because there was nothing to out in terms of tangible things I had done. But I was then harassed based on suspicion. I have a thread on that right now under "General Advice." I wasn't married, wasn't dating anyone, wasn't interacting with anyone at work in manners like that, and skipped the Christmas parties altogether. Also, I actually did my work. Imagine that. The experiences at this one employer with a "beer, baseball, and babes" culture which I got through in the initial interviews turned out to be bad news. Based on the interviews, I thought they were more relaxed than that on marital status and they probably thought I either didn't wear my wedding band or had a kid or two stashed away after a divorce. This is the sort of experience that brings on heterophobic sentiments.
Skiff, I initiated the investigation, and requested that the person that leaked just be advised, as well as all involved, that it's not ok to talk like that about people's personal lives. In the process I came out to them as well; it's not gonna do any good to deny the truth, to have it come out when I do transition. No I didn't have to, I did it myself because I'm not ashamed, and I'm tired of living a lite as I'm sure many in these forums can relate.
People love a gossip and talking about stuff they don't know or understand. I remember I was hit on by a girl at work who at the time I didn't realise was a girl, but she had heard a rumour through someone else at work (who I hadn't spoken to for years but went to my primary school and had somehow heard?!) that I was a lesbian!? (I had had a relationship with a girl but wasn't out as a Lesbian). People love gossip and pretending they know stuff about stuff! Hope the work situation is ok!
Very brave of you!! :eusa_clap Despite everything you are going through at the moment, you still are able to come up with a well thought-out plan of action. I doubt if I would be able to keep my head "so cool". Hopefully it works out as you wish.
I love listening to those ignorant gossips... So ignorant! I was at a marina and this clique of 60+ woman were discussing "Bear Week at Provincetown, MA. They had been, seen the place and still could not figure out what "bear week" was. I simply chuckled to myself as these 60+ gals tried to figure it out. Reminded of Mrs. Howell from Gilligan's Island. LOL Tom
Yes, I seem to be out to my whole office who prob think I'm a lesbian rather than bi, due to my massive and unhideable crush on my female supervisor..... *blush*