Hi So, I've recently come out to the closest people in my life and it went well Now I'm excited to begin dating when I'm ready! Let me just preface, I know the age doesn't really matter, as long as everyone is of legal age and consenting etc. this is just something that I've been curious about... I'm wondering what the general consensus is about age difference in the Lesbian and/or Gay community in general? Do people prefer to be the older or younger person in the relationship? Or do you only date people your own age? Why do you prefer to date the ages that you do? How many years difference would you be comfortable with? etc. Would you/have you ever found yourself dating out of your usual age-bracket for one special person? I personally always imagined I'd be the younger person in the relationship, but I could see myself dating someone maybe 2-3 years younger than me, but not younger than that I don't think. As for older, I could see myself dating someone maybe 6-8 years older than me at the most, but I suppose I can't be certain either way until I meet my special person What about you guys?
I really couldn't date someone that was more than a few months younger than me as I am 18 and they'd be a minor, lol. Nor would I want to, I like to date guys either my age exactly or older than me, but not more than 5 years older, as a general rule.
so far in my serious relationships it has been 3 years older and 2 years younger than myself, in shorter term relationships around my age by about a year but for dating I have dated as much as 20 years older than myself and 30 years younger :lol:
Wow. That's fascinating! Have you learned anything from the experience? ---------- Post added 1st Dec 2013 at 08:02 AM ---------- That's understandable Would you see your views changing as you get older?
I have a general rule of 2 years younger, 3 years older. Not that I'm not okay with someone older or younger, age won't keep me from being with someone, but I just want them to be mature, and to be somewhat relatable to me age wise.
There is so much discussion on this issue that should not even be a issue. a hundred years 50 year old men married 18 year old women with no problem by society and now to some people it is as bad as drugs or alcoholism. Can these kind of relationships be unhealthy sure they can but so can any other relationship.
Honestly, I'm rather lax on who I would date. xD If I had a connection with a 40-50 year old who asked me out, I'd probably say yes. Past 50 you're pushing it though, but I'd never turn someone down just because of age. (Unless they weren't legal. xD) I don't really have an opinion on if I prefer being younger/older. Never dated, but I can't really say I would have one.
I'd generally prefer to keep to a similar age range, simply because we'd have more in common, and be at a similar stage of life. Though I'd make exceptions. I heard of a formula for determining age range: don't date under n/2+7
This is something that is very personal to the individual. There is not one size fit's all rule. What really counts most is you like the person, related to them, have stuff in common with them and you each respect each other. My BF is 18 years older than me, we love each other, have a lot of interests in common and to me the age difference means nothing. I prefer the maturity of an older man and today older men tend to keep themselves in good shape physically and mentally sharp. Well at least my BF does. Bottom line, it's totally up to you. If your not too sure what you like, perhaps try going out on dates with girls your age and perhaps someone older just to see how it works for you. But only you can determine what will work for you. Good luck and congratulations on coming out.
I like it if she's a few years older than me. My age is fine too. Much younger is not something I would want because I feel like I'd have to make the first move and be the more confident one and I'm not. I'd say my age-bracket is up to 35. Not strictly. If she was 36 or something and I found her attractive, that'd be cool too. Wouldn't go for someone younger than 25 now, that would be weird.
Yeah I totally agree. It is certainly something that is personal to the individual. I hope to begin dating when I pluck up the courage to put myself out there. Thanks so much, it was hard coming out but ultimately, I feel such relief and glad I did.
I would first and foremost go for someone my age, but I tend to have a rule of +1/-1 (With one exception yes)
Close to my age as I've dated someone just over double my age and he'd lived so much of his life without me, + one of the main topics of conversation were his exs Also he behaved like an adolescent, which at his age isn't that great.
Plus or minus five is okay, but really I would like plus or minus 2 years. However, it is only now when I'm in graduate school that I've met many people who are more than a few years in age difference from me. Previously, I was in the standard education path of going to college right after high school, so most of my friends were the same age. But, mental maturity is far more important to me, and that is often is not the same as physical maturity. Also, since I'm fully independent, I would expect the same, so that often leaves out younger guys who don't have a job.
Nothing is specifically set in stone, but I theoretically would prefer to stay within a couples years. And agreeing to Chercheur, I can't really go lower any time soon as I value my life as a free citizen... I can't help but point out that there most certainly would have still be great stigma over a relationship such as that in the twentieth century. In the nineteenth century and prior, certainly not; though it is also important to note that there is little to no chance that the a young girl would have had much of a choice in the matter. In a perfect world, love is love; however, there is not a properly educated psychological or mental specialist in the world that would deny the effect significant age gaps can have on the parties involved. I do not argue the presence of love in any relationship, as it is not my place to decide, but simply because there is love doesn't mean that it can't still be extremely detrimental as well.