One of my relatives said that to me the other day, like it is some curse on the family or something. Neither me or my parents can choose what I am, so why did she say such a thing?
Homophobia, spite, ignorance, beer. It could practically be anything that made her say that. What's your relationship with her?
There are hundreds of reasons why she would say that to you, I'm sorry to hear that someone in your family would say that to you.
Would a parent specifically want a gay child, and actively hope their child would turn out gay? It's possible, but probably not very common. Would a parent who finds out their child is gay be able to love them just as much as they always did? It's both very possible and very common.
This has been my experience. In response to the OP: I think it depends on how the statement was meant; it could be an awkward way of saying "parents won't want their child to be gay because it likely means s/he faces a more difficult life because of homophobia", or it could mean "gay children are evil and therefore parents shouldn't want them." I'm guessing it's the latter, unfortunately, but you're in a better position to know.
One of the first people I came out to said to me she would not have wanted me to be gay, But more along the line of "I would have rather had you walk the easy road" even that, loving as it was ment to be hurt just a little as it reflected the opinion that many people around us have of LGBT-people. (In her defence she added the whole I'm proud of you and I'm here to talk whenever you want to) What your relative said is downright hurtful though. What is your relationship with her? how do you think it was meant? You should try and not let it get to you and be proud of who you are
I think that my parents are in extreme denial and they're still trying to deal with the fact that they'll never be grandparents. I'd think that's why they'd be upset.
It is probably disappointment. Some parents tend to create a perfect picture/plan for their child where he/she is going to be a successful person, marrying a partner and having children. If she got told about that her child/grandchild was a homosexual etc, she would be disappointed. It can take people quite sometime before they actually realise and fully accept what their child/friend has said to them
She's probably just closed-minded. Don't pay any attention to her, you don't need her approval to be who you are. So long as you accept and love who you are, and your parents accept and love you for who you are, then that's all that matters.
My dad has said it too many times. I can't wait for when he discovers I'm gay, and yes I mean that in the most horrible way possible. Also, in your case I would have said "and nobody would want you as a parent".
I wouldn't choose for my son to be gay, but if e is, awesome, if he's straight, also awesome. If he finds someone he loves and who loves him back, I'll be the proudest mum in the world, regardless of what the gender of the person.
Well, it's kinda true. I've never known an expecting parent to whisper, "Please be gay, please be gay, please be gay...." Still, a dick move and rather pointless at that, since you're already out, your parents have accepted you, and most importantly, she's not your mother. I'd have questioned her motives, at the very least.
But at the same time, most parents aren't thinking 'please be straight, please be straight, please be straight'
I've heard the grandparent argument and that's more about the parents than it is about their own child. I've thought about this. I don't think that parents with gay kids are wigged out over homosexuality, per se, especially when it's their own child. I'd have to say the overriding issue that parents might worry about how their child might be treated or discriminated against in life, since they may have seen that take place in their schools or places of work.
They just assume we're all born heterosexual, while planning for our weddings and grandchildren. :dry: