i've been analysing my self over the years, and i feel i've made some improvements in regards to my general self-esteem and am on the road to self-acceptance. i know life is not defined by clear cut stages, we may even alternate to and fro stages, what's more these categories are from Wikipedia...but this is just a bit of fun (and has a learning element in it too ). i'll start, i feel i am at Stage 3: Identity Tolerance. ----------------- Stage 1: Identity Confusion In the first stage, Identity Confusion, the person is amazed to think of themselves as a gay person. "Could I be gay?" This stage begins with the person's first awareness of gay or lesbian thoughts, feelings, and attractions. The people typically feel confused and experience turmoil...[more here] Stage 2: Identity Comparison The second stage is called Identity Comparison. In this stage, the person accepts the possibility of being gay or lesbian and examines the wider implications of that tentative commitment. "Maybe this does apply to me." The self-alienation becomes isolation. The task is to deal with the social alienation...[more here] Stage 3: Identity Tolerance In the third stage, Identity Tolerance: the person comes to the understanding they are "not the only one". The person acknowledges they are likely gay or lesbian and seeks out other gay and lesbian people to combat feelings of isolation. Increased commitment to being lesbian or gay...[more here] Stage 4: Identity Acceptance The Identity Acceptance stage means the person accepts themselves. "I will be okay." The person attaches a positive connotation to their gay or lesbian identity and accepts rather than tolerates it. There is continuing and increased contact with the gay and lesbian culture. The task is to deal with inner tension of no longer subscribing to society's norm, attempt to bring congruence between private and public view of self...[more here] Stage 5: Identity Pride In the identity pride stage, while sometimes the coming out of the closet arrives, and the main thinking is "I've got to let people know who I am!". The person divides the world into heterosexuals and homosexuals, and is immersed in gay and lesbian culture while minimizing contact with heterosexuals. Us-them quality to political/social viewpoint...[more here] Stage 6: Identity Synthesis The last stage in Cass' model is identity synthesis: the person integrates their sexual identity with all other aspects of self, and sexual orientation becomes only one aspect of self rather than the entire identity...[more here] ----------------- *this is not a competition, please do not feel "behind" your LGBT peers, think of it as a learning curve *
"I'm just in love with this particular woman/man" omg its what I think sometimes! I went through almot all these stages whithout even notice x.x I think I'm in the end of 4 and start5
me too! i now take comfort in that i'm [hopefully] moving in the right direction. burn it! burn it with fire!
Im mostly in the 6 category, but partly in the 5. I personally never went through that part where all i wanted was gay friends and to minimize interaction with heterosexuals. Also, i was never intensely hateful of heterosexuals, but have always (and always will) dislike hetero-sexism, as it is an integral part of our struggle >.< I don't go preaching about it, never have, probably won't. But i do try my best to combat if i see it/over-hear it/read it. Thats as far as I'll ever go. Being Gay is pretty much just a part of my self now, but to everyone around me, its basically my identity as its still new to most everyone but my close friends' minds. For myself im like... 70% of the time I just think "I happen to be gay, its not the only good thing aboutme" and the other 30% im obsessed with the fact that im gay :x I think social issues arent accounted for in this model. Some people skip straight to Synthesis without ever having gone through Pride i think. I voted 5, but now I'm leaning towards 6 mostly. The most "5" part of me is that i did stumble upon to this forum, which is a place where we do receive support from heterosexism (though straight people are welcome here ^_^) I didn't search this place out for the sake of support, but rather for enlightenment and friendship ^_^ My Real friends still out number you guys haha (no offence, i love you guys :3) I've re-evaluated my way of thinking in relation to the entire LGBTQ community, everyone in between! This forum is beautiful, and I love it. I've also learned to be more accepting and thoughtful of people's struggles and embrace their differences. Honestly, I was a worse person before this forum. So many threads about things that matter, this is a very good community in my opinion (not that it doesn't have its faults)
I'd be between 5 and 6, closer to 6. I just haven't really been able to physically interact with the gay culture yet, meaning for example going to popular areas for gays or Pride Parade (it's mid-August here), but I'll be going there soon. But overall, it's pretty much a part of me and life moves on.
+1 yeah that's a good point you raised there, must be noted* ---------- Post added 9th Jul 2013 at 06:38 PM ---------- ha, a part of me adores the idea of gay culture, a part of me despises it! ---------- Post added 9th Jul 2013 at 06:39 PM ---------- nice to see lots of identity pride :newcolor:
Im stage 5, out and proud, almost out to family (hinting) but i do relapse into a homophobe when im angry sometimes. Spose things a tad different when you're bisexual
I'd say I'm dancing between stages 4, 5, and 6. Although I think having this model is helpful, I disagree with some aspects of it. In particular I take issue with stage six. All of the stages seem to be to try and move you to that point. While I do agree that it's a bad thing to identify ONLY as someone who is LGBT, the issue I have is that these stages seem to be trying to move us toward conformity. Rather than acknowledging something is wrong with the culture itself, and the need to change it - things are looked at as if you were going through some minor teenage rebellion, at which point you should rejoin mainstream society and conform just like everyone else. It's a bit like telling a woman who is living in an intensely sexist society (such as the Middle East), that sure - she'll go through a rebellious phase where she gets together with her lady friends. However, the good news is that she'll eventually grow out of it, find a nice husband, and settle down to be a good wife in the end. It's natural for women to go through such a stage where they want to assert their independence or equality (haha, women being equal - funny, right?), but it doesn't last long... and if it does, then something might be wrong with her. The last stage should be about learning how to be resilient in the face of heterosexism, and feeling secure and confident in your authentic identity. It should be about forming coping strategies to deal with discrimination, and finding your purpose and place in the world. It should be about learning to rely less on the validation of others, and more on self-validation. It should be more about personal and individual empowerment, rather than trying to find a way for people to begin conforming to society once again. ...overall, I suppose it isn't that bad for something written in 1979.