So, I finally came out to my mom. It was the sunday a week ago. My mom came into my room and told me she wanted to talk to me. She asked me why I posted an article about gay marriage in France and why I "like"d that "I'm-gay-cake" picture on facebook. She started asking me if I thought it was normal for two men or two women to get married and have family, to which I responded with "Yes, of course, if two people love each other they should have the right to get married". Then she said "I think it's not normal" and then asked me "Are you like that?". I was like "Like what?". Then she said "Are you... gay?". I said "Yes, I am". Then she started crying. She told me that she always thought I was "normal" and why I "chose" this. She asked me if I was hanging out with gay people... I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I just started to talk and she (to my surprise) let me talk. I explained to her that it wasn't a choice, that I always knew I was gay and that I'm just as normal/abnormal as everyone else. I told her that I understand that she needs time to think about that. Then she asked me why I didn't tell her ealier to which I was like "Well, you're a homophobe, how do you think I could have told you"... she then said "I've always loved you, you're my child and I'll always love you". She then said that she accepts me but still thinks it's not normal. I, of course, had to ask her what's that that is not normal. I asked her if she thinks that I don't deserve to be happy. She was still crying but said - "Out of all people I know you deserve happiness the most". Then she started hugging me, kissing me. I said that I wasn't ashamed, that I won't apologize for what I am and that I won't say I'm sorry for what I am. We talked again later that day, she seemed really fine with it, she just told me that our society is homophobic and that people would probably judge me before they even get to know me, that life will be harder and things like that. And we talked some more about this and she was finally ok. Oh, and I told her what was the meaning of the bracelet I gave her. I told her that it was a pride bracelet and she told me that she wouldn't take it off and that she likes it. Oh, and when I told her how I was feeling each time she was saying something bad about the LGBT people, she was like "You should have told me, I never knew I was hurting you". So, one week later, she read a book I told her I wanted her to read (My coming out - stories of LGBT people), she's reading another book now, she's searching info on the internet, she asks me when she wants to know something, we talk about gay stuff almost every day... And I really think that she wants to get as much info as she can. I never thought my mom would accept me, but now I know she really loves me, I can feel it. I even think we're getting closer. We talked much more than what I share here, but I just don't remember everything.
Great story -- so glad you had the courage to talk with your Mom openly about who you are. And your Mom, too, gets kudos for being willing to learn, to be open, to understand you and herself. Hugs to both of you. And lotsa happiness in your gay out life!
Aww, that is so cool of your mom. I'm glad that she is getting more informed and that she is becoming more accepting of the LGBT community. You're one lucky guy to have a parent like that . I only wish my dad would at least try to see it my way but we can't help how other people think :/.
Congratulations! When i was in the beginning of reading you're post and you're mom said that being gay was not normal i thought "this is probably not going to end well" I'm glad it had such a happy ending though, congrats to you're mom to for listening to what you had to say and actively trying to learn more about being gay.
Thanks. ^_^ Well, she caught me off guard when she started the conversation, but I was calmed and I didn't start to cry. And now she just tells me what sites she's found on the internet and that she searched for the sites that were in the book. And thanks. (*hug*) Thanks. ^_^ I know, right. She stopped saying it's not normal, I tell her about Depfox (Gay family values), she tells me about a friend of hers who is gay, it's just great that in this short time she's already fine with it, or at least she makes herself look fine with it. Ugh, sucks that your dad doesn't want to listen, but he'll come around, I'm sure. He just needs to realize that if he wants to be a part of your life, he needs to accept you as you are. (*hug*) ---------- Post added 12th Feb 2013 at 08:52 AM ---------- Thanks. (*hug*) Oh, how I wish I knew that she'd be ok with it and told her years ago. I still can't believe she knows. Thanks. And yes, I thought it'll be one of those stories, too. I never expected my mom to be as accepting and that she would let me talk and she'd just listen to what I say.
One of the great things about coming out, is it is an opportunity to help people learn to be less homophobic--they realize that their love for their family is greater than their outdated and unfounded beliefs. Also, you should suggest she go to a PFLAG group where their are other mothers and families who support their gay family members/friends, though I do see you're from Europe and not sure if they have PFLAG over there.
We watched Prayers for Bobby together the other day. After we finished the movie she said "You know how much I love you, right?" Thanks. I'm still not sure if she accepts just me or all LGBT people in general, though. We don't really have any supporting groups like PFLAG over here (sad, I know). We haven't talked about this the last week (we watched Prayers for Bobby, though) but I say things occasionally.
Aww, I almost teared up reading this. I am impressed with how well you explained and talked about it, giving her time, not getting angry at her initial reaction. I am so glad that the two of you are working it out, and that you can communicate as well as you can. Really great, and a good example for others in a similar situation. You are lucky who has a mother who`ll put her initial opinions aside because she loves you *hugs* Happy for you! Congrats!
That was great to read and I'm so happy for you! I hope my mom will be as willing to listen and learn as yours. (*hug*)