So I'm becoming more and more comfortable with myself...and I've come to really love the boy side of me. Today was great...I got to model a shirt for an amazing FtM based company because I was watching/helping the CEO (who happens to be a friend) set up for a shoot...I wrote an article for the same site talking about the masculine side of gender fluidity...I was feeling really great today until I went to subway. "What would you ladies like?" "No she got 2 drinks..." Aaaaaand there goes Gage's good mood. Its been pretty cruddy for hours now, especially since I had to go home very soon after which required changing out of one of my favorite shirts and ruffling my hair into a more girlish style... I need to move out...and I need a decent binder and actual men's jeans...=(
Yeah.. I can totally understand what you mean. Life became so much better when I got a binder.. and some decent guy jeans. I'm lucky that when I am home my parents really don't care. I haven't even told them that I am pangender, but they just go along with it anyways. (It makes it a bit easier that I usually go by female pronouns, just to keep things simple. That may change soon though..)
If you are still being ID'd as female do you think changing your hair could help? If you don't want to cut it off completely so you still have hair for your more feminine days perhaps you could slick it back? Or else do cut it all off and invest in some wigs for your feminine days. As you mentioned a decent binder and men's jeans are also what you need.
Ash: Yeah I don't even mind dealing with female pronouns...its more having to change my clothes and act female because that does change for me... Toffee: I need to have some kind of hair so I can continue being female at home. I really like my current cut...if you look at my profile pic/avatar you can tell its rather boyish. Binder is WIP right now...so are jeans >.<
I honestly don't think you're gonna need to sweat about getting jeans from like.. Target, Kohl's, Old Navy, etc. mostly because you have a bigger build. And I'm not trying to insult you (sorry if I did) about that. I'm saying it's actually an advantage. Try to think of other excuses, as well. For example, I'm a film student, right? And I was at Kohl's because I had to find a specific shirt. I went over to the girl's section to see if it was maybe over there. And then, it occurred to me that I really COULD get any of those shirts for myself and say I'm producing a film, but tempted as I was, I needed to save my money. That and me living with 3 females is also gonna cause confusion, and everyone else would probably think the shirt belongs to one of the girls. But yeah. Excuses. Find them.
Nah I don't take it as an insult XD...I actually have an extremely curvy body when female..its been part of my issue...I'm very well proportioned for a girl...not so much for a guy. I am gonna work on that though. I am going to perform in the drag show at my school in April, so worst comes to absolute worst, I know I can use that as an excuse haha. Hopefully I'll think of one long before that though. Thanks CB...and I hope you're doing better <3
Ah so you still live at home with your parents? Hmmm I understand that but you're an adult and it's your hair so surely you can do what you want with it? How could your parents stop you?
They can't. And they don't. They just b**** about it enough to frustrate me is all. I am not out to them so they don't care for how boyish it is. My dad is great, he just expresses his distaste and is done with it. He won't mention it again. My mom probably will, especially when I get it cut like this again in a month or two. Its not really too boyish, just shorter than I've ever gotten and pretty androgynous...but I like it.
Wow you are a cute guy, but err yea jeans! There are alot of girls where I live that wear men's jeans it's not that uncommon, granted I see you are up north and I live down in redneck country so it might be different up there.
I know some of the frustration, O Neg. Though I don't live with my parents anymore, they are still very much a part of my life. I'm not out to them at all, but I keep trying to grow my hair out to be a bit more androgynous, and as soon as I start to get the little curls at the back of my neck, they start nagging me non-stop about cutting it. They don't get that I like my hair longer, and don't know I'm somewhat genderfluid and pansexual.
Neutrality: dvjdskagjskal thanks!!! Yeah its kinda common here too but thats still a change from my personal norm...so its still a thing haha... Confuzz: Yep...mine was my mom "I really just hate your haircut." Me: "why?" mom: "you look like a boy." dnsjkalg FFFFFFUUUUUUUU
Haha not at alllll...if anything it made me grin like a weirdo. I am flattered, and because I'm FAAB, its nice to have someone thinking I make a good guy.
Gahhhh you guys are making my girl show XD...thanks so much. Yes, i do too, my friend Kevin gave me that name. It was in a long list but stuck.
IF you are careful, some men's jeans have pockets with enough details that some peeps will not notice they are not for girls. They see what they want to see, are blind. I wore my binder and mens clothing including jeans from Ross to church. Nobody cares. And my mom, as blind as usual, said "Darling, that sweatshirt looks lovely on you!" Um , I got it in the boys section, it is a boys hoodie actually. "oh, well it is a beautiful color on you, sweetheart!" If you don't have mens underwear, gosh they feel great! If I for some weird reason had to go back into hiding, I would NEVER go back to women's panties ever! Diesel is mine forever. How do I tell my mom, I know you are scared of men in abnormal way, that you think they all will rape you. Um, HI! I am your son! I totally get how it makes you scared to tell your family, even though I have no idea really about fluidity. I do have more manly days than others, but I am always me...a guy. No more lying and faking. And on campus I am out! That feels good. More we come out, I think the more human and our real self we will be. Dysphoria has hurt my grades and social life, but I finally went to an intake appointment on campus and requested to have a GID specialist. I hope they can give me tips on how to gt through boring homework when I have to type my feminine birth name daily just to log into computer, the blackboard, and campus email...not to mention that all replies are to her. It really caused me serious problems. but on the positive side, I found a fully transitioned man who looks and sounds like all other men, and he is going to help fight for me to not have to use my birth name on everything. through our coming out and being honest, we can help others become kinder and better individuals to others. Good will come out of this yet. ---------- Post added 19th Nov 2012 at 10:55 PM ---------- Curls are hot on guys and pretty on girls! Don't let others tell you to cut them off! I seen lots of straight guys with nearly shoulder length hair and they are just as sexy as if it were crew cut, but got that nice not so harsh look. Keep the Curls!