I'm probably going to really stir some stuff up. Lol. Not intentionally of course. Here's the thing; my family and I don't always agree on things regarding my appearance. I like my nails with clear coat, I enjoyed having dreadlocks (which they hated and I'm getting again soon), I used to wear makeup but got harassed about that so I stopped but I'm also probably going to start that again soon, and I'm sneaking and getting piercings after my 18th birthday which is rapidly approaching. I'm just showing out. Lol. All of this is probably going to end up with me coming out (I'm at the point where if they ask I'll probably tell [and what straight guy gets hip piercings, wears clear coat, gets dreadlock extensions, and makeup I mean honestly?]) so these next few months may very well be disastrous or cause some friction at the least. I'm hoping they won't be rough though. I don't want world war III but honestly I'm over looking the way other people want me to look, if I'm happy & paying for it and still look respectable what does it matter? So do y'all have any words of wisdom or anything for me? I could wait til college if I had the patience to wait like 8 months bbbuuutttt I don't. Haha. They're conservative I guess and I'm not so much.
Hey, I say be yourself and do what makes you comfortable, but at the same time, try to be super nice and understanding with your family. Which is much easier said than done, but here is why. If you talk to them rationally about your choices. Why you make them, how they make you feel, and you are patient with them, it is much harder for them to attack you about it. If you get really mad when they get mad...then they have a better excuse in their head to be mad at you. Then it has a better chance of turning into WWIII. Also introduce these elements of yourself a decently slow rate, maybe? If you come home with piercings, dred extentions and makeup thay might just blow up. Bring them in slowly one at a time. If you are worried about them being crazy mad about it, then maybe wait until college. Or lets say they really hate the idea of piercings over everything else. Maybe wait until college to do that specific thing. Really you have to gage their reaction. I don't know if this is even a valid to you but I have known people whose parents stopped them from going to the college off their choice or didn't fund their college when they were planning to. If you fear they might do something like this just be weary.
Nah, I don't think they'll cut me off. That would suck big time; but I'll probably just get an earful for a while.
So long as your doing it for the right reasons and not just to piss them off then I don't see the problem. Its your choice how you look.
I think you should consider this: Are you doing this to express who you are? Or are you doing this to stand out, and to rebel against your parents? Be delicate with your sexuality, and appearance, they are part of your identity, which should be respected.
I'm not the rebellious type really. It's all for me to make me happy. It just so happens we have conflicting interests. Ohhh the irony. If anything I'm more the type to conform to what they want, but now I want to conform to what I want to look like seeing as how I'm the one who should be the most comfortable in my own skin.
I can understand that. Just make sure that anything you do that is perminate, like piercings, tattoo's and other body mods, are kept in mind that they are in fact forever. They way you appear is how people are going to first judge you. Just be ready for the consequences if their judgments are less then desirable.
You have to ask yourself, is this hill worth dying over? You mention you are going off to college soon. Would you be happy waiting until then, or is it important enough to do it now and deal with the problems?
The piercings can be removed... with a scalpel. Lol. But I've wanted them for years sooo yeah. And the ball is already rolling. I got my dreads! They're great! I love them! No one else in the house does but I do so that's all I'm worried about.
Your parents are human, too. Nothing wrong with what you're doing, really, but communication is the key. Even if you don't owe them an explanation, civilly expressing how this important to you for the reasons you have and assuring them you don't want conflict but don't want to be repressed at the same time, is perhaps a way to go. If you just look the other way, tension will only increase along with misunderstandings. A little respect (even if they won't show respect) and reasonableness goes a long way.
To the OP>>>>So do y'all have any words of wisdom or anything for me? I could wait til college if I had the patience to wait like 8 months bbbuuutttt I don't. Haha. They're conservative I guess and I'm not so much. Why did you ask for words of wisdom if you didn't want to hear any? To argue?
If you really want to hide your orientation.... you could use happily married (to a woman, as you'll see) tim minchin as an example in your defence dreadlocks, questionable fashion, eye makeup (not sure on piercings)... he doesn't have dreads here, but he did. [YOUTUBE]bBUc_kATGgg[/YOUTUBE] and a good picture of him
Argue? I wasn't arguing with anyone though. I meant advice like maybe some of y'all had a tiff with your parents about something you liked and maybe you were able to come to a compromise or you got them off of your back somehow or something. I don't want to argue with anybody.