now, the other night i was watching the bad girls club (yea u heard me) and i was thinking about how malicious girls can be torward each other and was wondering, why are (some) women like this? i find it really disturbing... i know guys can be nasty to each other, but girls take it to a whole nother level. so, ladies, can u fill me in as to why some of u are like this? id hate to be a female b/c girl world is (or at least seems to be) a very scary, dangerous place.
I have no idea. I think it might have something to do with power dynamics - there's a lot of competition among girls, and if a girl has low self-esteem she'll often want to put down those she fears are better than she is.
i figured that. and i know many girls that dont get involved in all that nonsence because they hate it. but from what u can see even at school, some girls are just vicious...
A lot of it has to do with the fact that girls are taught by society that being aggressive is a bad thing. We are taught that "boys will be boys", it's okay for them to get out their aggression physically- but girls should talk about their feelings with each other, and by all means not show anger. This is why many women have trouble vocalizing that they even are angry in the first place, thinking that they are sad or frustrated, or some tamer emotion because we are not supposed to be angry. We have to suppress more violent emotions. This also leads to cruelty. Whereas boys can fight and forgive each other, girls cannot- so they hold grudges- and resort to more secretive and verbal forms of torment which can often be much more damaging than a black eye. Girls often start rumors or make biting sarcastic remarks because the agression cannot be directly traced back to them. We also know that the worst thing that could happen to most girls is to lose your closest friends, or the approval of those you admire. Girls often use social isolation to really punish someone. It's all because of social norms.
Girls are made to show feeling and so to make them feel better they have to hurt other as long as they come out on top ....
Ive got a martini in one hand, and a nail file in the other. Pick either hand, ill still find a way to pop off on you with whatever it contains! ..but maybe i should adress the topic? hehe.. I think girls and guys BOTH do this, guys are just less talk more physical and girls are more talk less physical. Well, at least in general. Im a total talker but i would never do anything haha. The bad girls club is so totally fake though! They are amazing, dont get me wrong, but its all just for show im sure. Its about as real as the OC
It is social acceptance I think. Men can easily punch, sock, and kick each other and the winner is the one who claims superiority. In the female world, its different. It's done by words and to excommune someone is a very powerful thing. Same thing with rumors and shit like that the above poster had so eloquently put.
I'm a woman, and I really don't get why girls could be so nasty bitches with each other some times...
Uh... Bitch It's on! ---ON TOPIC NOW--- Everyone is malicious in one way or another. Actually no, not really. I'm just saying that to justify my own malicious ways. I can't speak for everyone because everyone has a different story. Some girls/boys use it as a defense mechanism, some have low self-esteem. Plain and simple, I do it because it's fun. Now that makes me sound horrible, but everyone on EC needs to know that I AM as nice as I act here. The only time I turn into a bitch with an affinity for crushing feelings is when I have something against you. Examples to follow... Like... my friend's ex who cheated on him/her. There's no excuse for cheating, you get no sympathy from me. The farmers who call out fag as I walk down the hallway. That doesn't make you cool, it just shows your ignorant and boring true colors. So yeah... I do it because it's fun... and people deserve it
i agree with tyler on this. some people deserve to have shit talked about. if you act stupid. i will talk about you. if you hurt my friends i will talk trash about you. if you smell bad, ill talk bad about you. more seriously though. its a fact of life. someone is always going to have something to say about someone else. i think instead of talking trash maybe girls should just start fighting each other..... in a very large thing chocolate syurp. :]
Dude, it's a TV show. There was one wonderful scene in which two of the girls start fighting. And one of them springs up towards the other, and then suddenly pauses, and looks over her shoulder. At another girl. Who gives a start of surprise, gets up and grabs her from behind. At which point the "spring-up" girl continues fighting, now that she's being "held back by her friend". The show is just that - a show. Like RuPaul's Drag Race, it plays up one bit of "the female pschye" and puts it on display. Why are (some) girls like that? My guess is training. Not deliberate training, but subtle conditioning through life. "Girls don't fight" is a lesson that's often taught, out loud. But talking behind backs, "don't get mad, get even", "all's fair in love and sex", "never forgive, never forget" - these lessons are picked up over time. Guys seem more prone to kicking each other's ass (poorly), and then buying each other a beer (if they're of age). Lex
i realize its a show and that any where from 98 to 100% is fake, but im using it as an exaple for real life events. for example, my sister was friends with this one girl, had a falling out and was so nasty that she drove my sister to tears b/c this girl was relentless. my sister and her eventually made up and have been cool with each other since, but the fact that things like that happen is ridiculous. and as for it being easier for guys, i think guys just dont usually have a problem with eachother. not where i live at least. but from what ive seen in girls is that one will walk by another and they dont even know eachother, but the one girl will just comment on how ugly the other one was that walked by. it just doesnt make sence... glad ill never have to put up with it though (thank u X chromosome!)
A great book that you have to read is called Odd Girl Out if is all about the reasoning behind the way girls think and the vicious things they do and the mental health part that goes along with it. it is a great book for anyone and it made me reflect deeply into my own history as a teen girl (however I was not one one of the mean girls). I originally got this book to help out some teen clients I was working with who were having problems with other girls and the social hierarchy. go to the library and check it out it is an eye opening account with personal stories, interviews, and the meaning behind all of it. But in my Opinion NO ONE DESERVES TO BE LEFT OUT OR TREATED BADLY. -Jen
Haha...did you mean y chromosome....that made me chuckle. I think the reason that girls are so bitchy is because in general they talk more. Stereotypically girls talk about everything that goes on in their lives and how that makes them feel. Whereas boys are happier discussing practical issues of life...like who won the football, or how hot the blonde girl in class is. Some smart ass psychiatrists reckon that most boys are actually on the extreme end of the autism spectrum (as its defined in DSM).....problems communicating, unable to interpret non-verbal cues.....sounds like a man to me. :lol: (OK before I get shouted at by all the blokes on this site....I am joking) Boys may not be as bitchy but they can still be bullies and are more aggressive than girls. In general the sexes have different ways of expressing their frustrations.