i am wondering how to do my homework. i keep doing other things cuz i dont want to do it. and im wondering why i said some of the things i said last night im aloso wondering why ben just sent me 6 messages in a row.
Right now I'm thinking about my friend hardison. Last night on a several hour bus ride back from a competition, I was talking to him about how much I'm going to miss him when the year is over and how I'm not ready to lose him. I was initially hanging on his arm, but by the time we got back to school (around 1030 at night) I was laying with my head and hand on his chest. He kept saying I was a faggot playfully (after advising me to not be easily offended, we talked about that too), and I kept saying I didn't care while rubbing his stomach/chest. To sum the whole story up: Derek = Happy
I'm thinking some people - mainly gays - really need to fucking get over their hatred/fear/ignorance of effeminate guys. Lex
So there is this guy I am interested in. We planned to meet up for dinner one day this week. I can't figure out if I want to shot for tomorrow or Wednesday. I would like to shoot for tomorrow, but I don't where I want to go. I would like to go to sushi, but he does not like sushi. I would like to go to some where quite so that we would talk. Guess I got a couple of more hours to figure it out as I plan to call him in the morning.
I am thinking I should not have done so much Adderall over the weekend because now I feel like I am withdrawing. I'll make a mental note to go easier next time. Oh and also that a personal non preference does not always equal homophobia.
Im thinking that i need to be less defensive - either that or become a lawyer because then maybe my faults would help
Im thinking I want my tongue pierced..and next week would be a good week to do it. I am off work for a week, so the swelling would be down by the time I go back..But I am also thinking that if I get my tongue pierced it will be a dead give away that I am gay..Hmm decisions..
Oh...lot's of stuff right now. Not good when I'm about to go to bed. 1) My dad and I haven't spoken to eachother tonight. Just yelled. I hate fighting with him, but he has to stop putting so much pressure on me. And stop blaming me for stuff he knows I didn't do. 2) A friend of mine and one of my teachers are trying to play match-maker again, and they want to set me up with a girl. There is no way in hell I'm doing it, but I don't know how to get out of it without hurting the girl(as she has a crush on me...). 3) I just visited one of the blogs that I read, and it has me hopeful about gay marriage in Iowa. The Court's decision will likely be announced on the 13th, so it's just TWO WEEKS AWAY! And, it would take until 2011 before the conservatives could get an anti-gay marriage bill on the ballot. By then, I think we could convince enough Iowans to support gay marriage that it would fail. This has me excited, and I can't sleep when I'm excited.
im think about how good sleep sounds right now, and im thinking about if i really like the people i think i lik or do i just lik them becuz theyr nice and bcuz i often fall for the ppl tat wud b really good friends.
thinks: how is he ever going to publicise his new clothing line nothing seems to be working www.totallyhott.com
I'm trying to figure out what the hell my next move is. I would like to start dating, but I'm just not sure if I want to invest the time and energy right now. Plus I have a couple of personal projects I would like to work on. Guess I just have to figure out what is more important and go for it.