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Corrupt A Wish

Discussion in 'Fun and Games' started by CelebrityHead, Nov 4, 2007.

  1. dounuts7975

    dounuts7975 Guest

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    Yea I'm still waiting for season 2 myself and I'm quite busy u know with 14 year old stuff and my stupid homework
     
  2. 101DeadRoses

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    All men are equal but women are more oppressed than they were in the middle ages only without hope of ever becoming equal.

    Nice job, asshole.

    I wish that I could throw a dildo - just one - like a dart at the wall and have it stick there.

    (No, I don't know why. I just want to throw a dong like a dart.)
     
  3. Untitled104

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    Alrighty then, wish granted. A new product is released in a very cheesy infomercial, "Introducing the 'Dong Dart'! An all new dong, perfect for throwing, which will stick to any surface! Wowzer! And, guess what? It's yours for only a single payment of $29.99! That's right $29.99! (once thrown dongs are non-removable, use at your own risk, non-edible, no refunds, terms and conditions apply)". Is this not the very thing you have been waiting for! It certainly is! Go on, buy one, it's a bit pricey, but you just want to get a dong to stick to a wall once right?

    WRONG. You get addicted to throwing sticky dongs at your wall, leading to bankruptcy and alienation by all your friends and family because of the immense shame they feel towards you (some people just aren't accepting of your dong habits man, I'm sorry). Pretty much all you are left with is your wall of sticky dongs.
     
  4. Untitled104

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    OOOOOHHHH A CHALLENGE. Yes, I know this has already been corrupted, but I couldn't help myself. :icon_bigg. In fact, I'm going to make it more difficult, I shall not use any loopholes in your wording!

    All men AND WOMEN have been acknowledged as equal by everyone for the entire existence of the human race. People have lived for 200,000 years without the horrible effects of racism or sexism or any form of discrimination. And slavery? What's slavery? No one knows, 'cause that never happened in this discrimination-less world. In this sense, the world is a glorious place.

    There have never been rulers fighting to provide more land and wealth for their supposedly superior selves, no religious leaders to suggest that people should look up to a superior god! No fighting, no war!

    But no fighting means no ultimate enemy to cause the human race to band together. Because it only takes a certain number to protect a community of humans from other species, but it takes many to protect yourself from other humans, and even more to try and gain a position of power over them. And without bands of people creating armies and communities to produce soldiers for these armies, and the ultimate motivation of taking what you believe you deserve more than others from them (in terms of resources, etc), there has been no cause for the development of large communities.

    Without communities or war, there has been no cause to develop the technology required to support large communities effectively, or the technology required to dominate over others from battle. In fact, no one community has the resources to make any significant advances! Or the advances that came directly or indirectly from these advances.

    Life stays primitive.

    Where are the cities? The wonders of the world? WHERE IS THE INTERNET? THEY DON'T EXIST.

    But hey! At least we all live in happiness and harmony. Apart from the really low life expectancy, high mortality rates, and the fact that we have such little knowledge of anything in our world. Including ourselves. For the LGBTQA+ community (oh wait, what community...) this means lacking the the resources to find others like you, crippling many people's chances of finding love, knowing themselves or even just feeling part of something special.

    ... So I tried. I dunno... This one makes me feel a little gross, like I'm fighting for discrimination. Ugh, no. Not ever. And really, even if we needed to believe we were better than others to get where we are, would it really be worth it to be where we are when so many people that lived before us had to suffer for it? I dunno man.
    I might not have even corrupted your wish really, because maybe that discrimination-less world is better than our world once you factor in the pain people had to go through for it.

    I guess you win. I feel like an ass hole. Dammit!

    ---------- Post added 7th Sep 2016 at 06:39 PM ----------

    My wish (built on the basis of dounuts7975's): That the world is as it is today but discrimination doesn't, and has never, existed, and there is no hunger or global warming.

    Now that's got to be hard to corrupt.

    (or, if you just want to have silly fun (I'm not judging)... I wish the world was square)
     
  5. That was an excellent corruption, Untitled104, given the circumstances! You really could have taken advantage of that loophole about all men being created equal, but instead did made a genuine effort! From my perspective, you sounded much less like an asshole than most other people who tried to justify slavery, including myself, would have! Let's see if I can live up to your standards with my own corruption (not of the square world wish haha)...
     
    #8725 Ambivalence0219, Sep 7, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2016
  6. 101DeadRoses

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    There's no world hunger, but there is world thirst.
    You see, while nobody was being attacked based on their race, gender, sexuality or religion, and people were happy in their safe climates and had plenty of food, something was wrong with the waters of the world.

    One night, in the middle of a stretch of ocean we shall not name, a tiny meteorite fell. This meteorite contained a tiny seed of a normal form of algae from a planet very far away that had been blown apart by a planetary collision.
    Long story short, the algae was incredibly strong in the relatively mild conditions of Earth's waters, and spread incredibly fast. Traces of it could be found in every body of water in the world, fresh or salt, that was connected in any way to that ocean before two weeks had passed.
    The algae could spread upriver, and was cripplingly poisonous (think paralysis from the waist down to locked-in syndrome, as well as painful stomach and bowel conditions) to any human that consumed it.
    The algae could not be 100% filtered out of the water, and boiling was useless, considering that it had evolved in the boiling waters of its home planet, so if any water was infected, it could not be truly purified. Ever.

    Only the few bodies of water that weren't connected to any infected ones were truly safe, but these dwindled quickly, what with all the humans of the world depending on them. Disease spread quickly through those once-beautiful communities not lucky enough to get to an inland lake, tearing apart their precious, loving bonds of trust, and dehydration drove people to great lengths to gain even a drop of moisture.

    Sweat, urine, tree sap... blood.

    But before long, even the inland lakes were infected, as the algae evolved to be able to survive out of water for months, allowing itself to be transported on the fur and feathers of animals who bathed in and drank from the lakes, and soon, there were only a few people left.
    A husband, a wife, and their infant son Thomas.
    Alone against thirst and the empty, feral world, with no safe water, and totally unable to harm one another, they roamed the land and drank the blood of any creature they came across, and their own recycled urine as the algae continued to evolve rapidly and gained different forms, even sprouting roots, leaves, and branches until they finally found themselves alone in a rainforest of "algae".

    The parents collapsed together, their son weakly crying. The woman put Thomas to her breast, and he started to suckle, but no milk would come.
    They tried to cry, but they had no tears.

    Finally, they couldn't even hold themselves up to sit, and laid down next to each other to wait for death.

    As the woman held her son in her final gasping moments of consciousness, she stared into his eyes, then spotted movement out of the corner of her eye as a voice spoke to her, seemingly in her mind:
    "Your son will be the first."
    Then, in her darkening vision, she saw vines twisting along the ground, twining around Thomas and lifting him into the branches of the forest.
    A vine draped down to his face, trickling a familiar clear liquid.
    Water.
    In her final moments, the mother smiled.



    Could've covered thirst, too, huh?


    I wish that there was a single, large apple tree that all the world could come to, eat from, and unite over. Its fruit would never fail to grow, and it would never get sick or die. There would never be worms in the fruit, or black spot in the leaves, and the roots would never rot.
    It would always produce many apples, and sometimes even other fruits, and legend has it that, if picked on certain days, the fruit could heal any disease or injury if the afflicted consumed so much as a nibble or drop of juice.

    Also, it sometime grew bananas. (!)
     
  7. dounuts7975

    dounuts7975 Guest

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    Wish granted we have a ginormous fucking apple tree. But countries don't feel like others deserve its apples so they try to keep them away. They have watch towers and kill every person whose not part of their country that try's to get an apple. ( idk I just like murder)
    I wish that instead of my best freind living near that one of my crushes lived near me .
    (Plz nothing about dating stuff for this one )
     
  8. Untitled104

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    Aw shucks, I tried :slight_smile: Thank you

    ---------- Post added 8th Sep 2016 at 04:46 PM ----------

    Fine, fine, no dating.

    *Waves magic wand* *POOF* Your wish is granted. Your best friend moves and your crush moves in. So maybe you'd have preferred that your friend didn't move countries, but it'll be fine, you've got the internet to keep contact. But your friend loses their phone, and their angry parents ban them from using the computers at home and refuse to pay for a smart phone, so your buddy's just left with an old Nokia brick phone. I guess they could go to the local library, or find some other way to contact you, but it's difficult. You try for a while, but they make new friends and you both have lives to live, so you slowly loose contact.

    So, I guess there's a higher chance of seeing that piece of eye candy (but also a very respectable human being, of course) every day, but you just lost your best friend.

    OR

    Your crush's family wants to move to your area, but all the houses are taken :/, so they just demolish one in the night. Okay, so they didn't KNOW the family was still in there (they had their suspicions, but really, who can be bothered to check? Not them, that's for sure). OOPS, your friend has been crushed (gwaff, gwaff, geddit, 'cause it's your crush :roflmao:. Too insensitive? Sorry)...

    So, your crush's family somehow escaped prosecution and built their house, and now live near you. But you seriously have a crush on one of you ex best friend's murderer? That's low man, real low.
     
  9. dounuts7975

    dounuts7975 Guest

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    wow really lololololol u didn't wish tho
     
  10. Untitled104

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    Oopsies, I got carried away... I WISH THAT THE SKY WAS GREEN (and that a classic blue sky was emerald green)
     
  11. 101DeadRoses

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    The sky is green but that's just because the algae BECAME AIRBORNE AND EVERYONE DIED (hahahaha self-reference is this thing on?).

    I wish that all turtles had smiley faces painted on their shells.
     
  12. Untitled104

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    Alrighty, the turtles become little colourful smiling critters, but the smiles are only a mask to hide their PAIN, and in the process of painting others shells (it's impossible to do their own), turtles are often capsized, and are unable to turn themselves back over so they just stay there until they wither and DIE

    I once again wish the world was square
     
  13. 101DeadRoses

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    Due to the impossibility of the world being square, your wish rips a hole in space-time that allows dinosaurs to come from the past and the alien invasion from the future, and they team up to defeat us inferior humans.

    Oooohhhh yeeeaaahh! It's a goddamn dinosaur laser fight!

    Also, Rhinoceratops and SuperPuma were boning all over the place, and that is, indeed, space rhino jizz on your porch. (!)



    I wish that I didn't have to sleep to function well, but I could if I wanted to.
     
  14. Geek

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    Granted. You work so hard everyday that your hair turns gray by the age of 20. You have wrinkles and get depression for being alone for too many hours of the day.

    I wish I wasn't such a pessimist about everything.
     
  15. (I'm back! Woo!) Consider your wish granted. You are no longer a pessimist. The cup has and always will be completely full (can't forget the air). You no longer concern yourself with the inevitability of death or how everything you will ever know will eventually fade away to oblivion and within a few generations you will be nothing but a name in a book or a face in a photo. You see the beauty in nature, in life, in merely existing to your fullest extent in each and every moment. There is always more on the horizon and you'll be damned if you don't experience all there is to experience while you can. Each day is a gift and you take your time unwrapping them, simply savoring the journey. Sure, sometimes there are moments of pain that interrupt the cycle, but you see them for what they are: bumps in the road, little reminders to appreciate what you have and always strive to make each day better than the last. This positive outlook on life prevents you from experiencing it as it truly is and embracing both the good and the bad instead of gilding over the inherent tragedy of life. You realize that you are not content and never will be living a delusion, no matter how much you want it to be real. It takes a pessimist to observe the worst facets of life, to hold it to the light, view all its imperfections, and, in continuing to life, accept both the flaws of life and of yourself.

    I asked this one a couple of days ago, but maybe someone will have another take on it.
    I wish that there were nothing but perfectly logical thought and that all memory of emotion and emotion itself were completely eliminated from our collective mind.
     
  16. europeanguy

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    wish granted, people use only logic to make decisions, but people are emotionless, so feel no empathy, charity does not exist, people kill others or steal if it is deemed logical without hesitation. every act of empathy or emotion never happened.

    we are also a hive mind, with no will of our own we are operated by a single alien entity. as you said "collective mind" single not plural.

    I wish everyone is always kind and accepting towards each other, people are incapable of being mean or evil
     
    #8736 europeanguy, Sep 10, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2016
  17. 101DeadRoses

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    Wish granted!

    Demons rise from the deepest depths of Hell to take advantage of our kindness, and without our meanness, we have no conception of violence or how to defend ourselves against them.

    I wish I had a rose that, when planted like a seed and watered with rainwater, magically grew a ten-foot climbing rose vine that would grow to ten feet in seconds, then grow and die at a normal rate, and that produced more magic rose buds. Also, it would be hypoallergenic, and wouldn't attract wasps or aggressive bees.
     
  18. Geek

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    Granted! You slip and fall off of the plant as it's dying and fall 8 feet to the ground. You fall into a cactus nearby and are stabbed to death by its large thorns.

    I wish I was straight
     
  19. europeanguy

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    granted, your straight, all the time. which means you cant pick things up or walk as your body cannot bend, including your knees. on the bright side you've become very good at some yoga poses like the plank



    i wish people would always make the smart choice when voting in politics
     
    #8739 europeanguy, Sep 11, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2016
  20. dounuts7975

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    Granted everyone always makes the smart choice. But here the issue (sorry if u meant politicians I'm gonna focus on the voters) politics don't really have a smart choice. They have oppinions so since the smart choice dosent actually exist people can't make what isn't in existence.mthey only make what they believe is the smart choice which most people already did before your wish. So in other words it changed nothing changed.
    I wish that I was the best over watch player in da world. (It's a video game if u don't know wat it is look it up)