I am currently 18 years old. Never had a girlfriend and im currently completely confused and unsure weather whether im actually gay, straight or bi. I havent talked to anybody else yet and rather will not ever. Now here's my situation: In a sexual way i feel attracted to boys i think: i like looking at thin, hairless young boys(so called twinks) and only these. But only when they jerk off alone or are just nude on pictures. Gay porn is disgusting for me, but masturbation videos of twinks make me hard while girl masturbation doesnt. I could imagine myself to jerk such a twink off, even blowing him but kissing or do rectal intercourse with a guy not in any way. I cannot imagine myself to actually "love" a guy. I rather think twinks are some kind of sex toy for me, but not someone to live with and love. Now to girls: I could imagine myself to love a girl and have sex with her. I love the way they are and how they look. I saw many very appealing girls and i could imagine myself kissing and loving them. The only problem here is that i maybe cannot feel sexually attracted to them(Im not sure. If i look at nude pictures of appealing girls or masturbation videos i do not get hard). I think i am physically attracted to guys but psychical attracted to girls. My Penis says yes to guys and my mind says yes to girls. If you would ask me i would want to be straight and have a girlfriend. However i dont think i really fell in love with anybody or any gender. I completely opened myself and my thoughts here so please take it serious and give me your advice. Im sorry if my english in some sentences is bad, its not my native language. If you need more information please ask. Yours sincerely, The Confused Guy
It appears that you are sexually attracted to males, but would prefer to be with a woman because it is the acceptable thing to do. Have you ever been sexually attracted to a woman? Or do you simply like the thought of being with a woman? These are serious questions you need to ask yourself. I hope talking about it here helps you resolve your issue.
You've expressed yourself better than many people whose native language is English. If you continue to remain open to your self and your thoughts, your penis and your mind will eventually come into sync.
Thanks for the quick responses. I actually cannot remember if i ever was sexually attracted to a woman. And yes i do like the thought of living and loving a woman. But never really had the feeling of loving someone. Maybe i just need to find the right person(be it male or female) and then i will see which gender i want to be with. What does being bisexual actually mean? You can like and love both genders but you still have a preference which gender you love more?
Bisexuals don't have to have a preference for either gender. Some do, but some like the genders equally.
Seeing as though you haven't felt love before, and that you are sexually attracted to men, and not woman, I would say you are Gay, and just haven't found your love yet. If you were at least bi, I am quite sure you would have some sexual desire in woman.
Worry about a "label" last. Do what feels right, concentrate on making YOU happy. The rest will fall into place
Thank you. You helped me and especially my self confidence. For now there is nothing left to say. However i will come back if i need help. This webpage is ideal for those things. Thanks again, bye
I just recently attended a couple of LGBTQ workshops put on by EGALE at my school and one of their ideas they emphasized may be of interest to you. They described 3 types of feelings that a person may have: "pants feelings" (sexual attraction), "heart feelings" (emotional attraction like with good friends) and "head feelings" (your gender identity). They stressed that everyone experiences these feelings differently and that it is not uncommon for all of them to not exactly line up which seems to be what is going on with you. I think that you should try to just accept these different feelings as feel them and not jump to any big committments yet, let it play out and see how it goes! Good luck! PS if you are interested in more about this, look up the "genderbread person" on google.
