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Would you date a bi/pansexual person?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by hellotherelove, Oct 19, 2014.

  1. RainbowSocks

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    I don't date someone because of who they COULD be attracted to, I date someone because she IS attracted to me and I AM attracted to her. Honestly, I'm attracted to so few people that I'm not going to rule someone out just because she's bi. Now...if she's bi AND doesn't like chocolate chip cookies, we're going to have major problems :wink:

    On another note, what your friend says is true for a lot of lesbians. I'm on a few sites for "girls who like girls" and most of the lesbians on there will say that they would never date a bisexual for various reasons. A lot of times it's because their bi ex girlfriend left them for a man. Okay, that's a slap in the face, but lesbians can leave you for a man too. And to be honest is it really that much better if she leaves you for another woman? Cheating is cheating in my eyes, regardless of what parts the other person has.

    Not only that the bi girls get slammed all the time. It's disheartening to know that our own LGBT community can be so judgmental over someone's sexuality.
     
  2. MickH

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    Absolutely. Actually, because I'm bi/pan myself, I might prefer it.
     
  3. Yes, of course. I'm beginning to think that I'm probably bi, so it would be silly of me not to say yes. But when I identified solely as a lesbian, I still would have done so. Lesbians who say they wouldn't date a bi girl break my heart tbh.
     
  4. onlyshallow

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    I think it's very possible but I can't even picture the scenario. If I truly loved a guy and he told me he was bi/pansexual... then I like to think it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't change the dynamic of the relationship.
     
  5. NingyoBroken

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    Of course. But considering I'm trans, the question in my case is "would someone who ISN'T bi/pan date ME?"
     
  6. Linthras

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    I know you probably didn't mean it that way, but your first sentence is quite offensive.
    I.e.: "I would date a lesbian if they were completely monogamous and could live without other women if they plan to stay with me."

    It certainly isn't true that bisexuals are inherently polygamous or struggle with monogamy.
     
  7. sldanlm

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    I agree with this. The idea that someone could potentially be attracted to someone else, whether the other person is the same gender or not, isn't as important as what they do. Some people struggle with monogamy whether they are gay straight or bi, and some don't.

    I wouldn't think it was a problem, it just leaves more for me :slight_smile:
     
  8. teagirl

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    Honestly, for me, I would rather not put my heart on the line ...
     
  9. Fallingdown7

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    I never meant it that way, but in my experience (even on this website alone) there are a lot of bisexuals who defend their fluid sexuality and attraction to the other sex, saying that It's dangerous for monosexuals to date them. Which of course is an insult to themselves and to monosexuals and general and I'm countering that.
     
  10. Nekoko

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    Yeah, I kind of have the same feeling sometimes....
     
  11. jay777

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  12. Lipstick Leuger

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    Yes.

    I have one Bi and one Pan daughter. I am a Queer Femme, and not 100% Lesbian. I don't use Bi/Pan as a label because they don't feel comfortable to me. My wife's friend had a tizzy about it actually, and they are friends no longer because of it. She didn't want my wife to be with a "Bisexual woman who would leave her for a man" hmmmmm.....

    I left males to be with women. What do Lesbians who don't trust Pan and Bi women have to say to that? That throws a monkey wrench into their little insecurity about us choosing men over them. Apparently a man could not give me what my wife could......
     
  13. stocking

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    Yes , but I would prefer a bisexual girl that's more into girls ,and one that's monogamous or homo romantic bisexual . Also if she 's with me and wants to be with me for the rest of her life can give up on sleeping or dating men . (not her attraction to men )if they can't it's ok their just not for me , but she can't share me with a guy that's a huge no no . I'm a selfish person I don't like sharing .
     
    #33 stocking, Oct 21, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2014
  14. Nightswimming

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    This whole thing about lesbians being afraid that bisexuals will leave them for a man is just straight up internalized misogyny. Its just affirming the notion that men are better than women, even at loving women. Few males worry that their bisexual gf is gonna leave them for a female. In fact, a lot of men and bisexual women think its okay for the bisexual to sleep with a woman, if the mood strikes, and have the encounter not be considered adultery because a female sexual relationship is "non-threatening" and not taken seriously. There are lots of stupid opinions about this issue.
     
    #34 Nightswimming, Oct 21, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2014
  15. Gen

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    Absolutely.
    Because bisexuals males don't receive the exact same reactions from both heterosexual women and homosexual men?

    Because bisexual females aren't met with an equal level of doubt from heterosexual male potential partners?


    Many things are based in misogyny and general prejudice, but everything is not. People need to be aware that the true basis behind these types of mindsets is the presence of deep-rooted feelings of insecurity and inadequacy within oneself, regardless of gender. This is an issue that affects the bisexual community as a whole quite equally.
     
  16. 101DeadRoses

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    I think people thinking that someone who's bi/pan can't possibly be faithful is ridiculous. If you can remain faithful to your girlfriend, even though you find other girls attractive, we can remain faithful to our significant others even if we find both men and women attractive.
     
  17. Nightswimming

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    I'm not sure why you're trying to contradict what I said, but the truth in your statements doesn't make what I said any less legitimate. I'm speaking on a specific issue that a lot of lesbians seem to have and have literally stated is because they fear they can't give a bi woman what a man can. Most homophobia, biphobia, etc. is still rooted in misogyny. Being LGBT doesn't exempt you from that.
     
    #37 Nightswimming, Oct 22, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2014
  18. NingyoBroken

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  19. TheStormInside

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    I really don't see why not. I don't understand why she feels like a bi person would feel like they were missing something if they weren't with a man. I thought bisexuals had the potential to be attracted to either gender, not that they "need it" from both. :dry: If your friend knows you're bi, can you try to explain this to her?
     
  20. Radioactive Bi

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    Yep, I think that's a no brainier for me.

    Happy days :slight_smile: