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Will this eventually lead me somewhere?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Sadness, Aug 31, 2021.

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  1. Sadness

    Regular Member

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    So hi guys. Most of my threads arent posted and i know why, pretty weel honestly. Im always saying the same thing, talking about the same thinf, worrying about the same thing... ocd.

    But this is something thats been really in my mind for 3 days now. Its just a turn of events that i dont know how to react to, so i get desperate here to talk to someone.

    3 days ago i was having a bad day thinking i was bissexual, so this lead me to read a gay hentai which aroused me. The guy was dressing like a girl so o tried fantaszng about him and i got hard too.

    It was a shock so i let it be and tried again those next 2 days, which yeah i fantasizied abou this guy... and got hard, the weird thing is that i couldnt masturbate to it. I would feel arousal, i was hard, but then i would eventually get soft, then i would get hard again, then soft again. Ive been on this rollercoaster this past 3 days.

    And i know everyone says to me that i have ocd and all that, and i know. But why is this happening now? Im not feeling anxious. I know i have ocd but im fantasizing with a men and im getting hard. Ive been testing for years and now im getting hard. Isnt fantasies the top 1 way to find out if im gay/bi? So now im getting hard thinking only about this character thar dresses like a girl and im getting hard, and soft, then hard again, and then soft again. I just cant masturbate to it, and this could be a proof that im not gay, but why i do get aroused though...

    I just wanted to vent so i could put my thoughts somewhere, i hope this thread get posted because i really want to talk to you guys. Im very confused now on why im getting hard. Maybe i masturbated so much to this thought or hentai that its just a instant reaction? It doesnt seem like this.

    Well i hope i can talm about this woth you guys, i know that reassurance isnt good, but i want to talk.
     
  2. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    This is your OCD. It is probably exacerbated by your constant porn use. We've been over this 100000000000000 times. You aren't gay.

    1.Please, please, please talk to your psychiatrist because it is clear that the medication you are currently on is not adequately addressing your disorder. You deserve to not be tortured by these feelings all the time.

    2. You really need to cut down or eliminate the porn use entirely. All it is doing is causing you problems. If you are having difficulty doing that, then I would suggest you speak with your therapist about strategies you can employ to help you control the urge to view porn.
     
    #2 Chip, Sep 1, 2021
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2021
    Lek, masterofnone and Lemony like this.
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