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Why would a guy who's supposedly attracted to you rejects your friend request on facebook?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by thexboxguy, Jan 16, 2023.

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  1. thexboxguy

    thexboxguy
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    Hello guys, I hope you're doing great. Let me start by saying I'm a gay guy and during the holidays from early November until early January I was working at a Wal Mart as a temporary and my contract ended on Janary 6th (11 days ago) and during that time I met a guy who really showed signs of being attracted to me and I showed subtle signs of being attracted to him, too and became friends. However, a few days ago I found him on facebook and at the beginning I didn't want to send a friend request for fear of being rejected, but after a few days I found the courage to finally send him the friend request.

    On the one hand, it first showed as pending for like a couple of days or so, I don't remember exactly how many days it was showing as pending. On the other hand, today I realized he rejected my friend request and he changed his Facebook settings. I mean, he changed his facebook settings so that no one can send him a friend request (The option to add him as a friend isn't there anymore). Now the option to send him a message is the only one that shows up on his profile.

    It's really weird, as far as I remember I didn't do anything to him. I'm really spechless right now.

    I want to be clear that I never had sex with him, we both only showed signs of being attracted to each other.
     
    #1 thexboxguy, Jan 16, 2023
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2023
  2. mlansing

    mlansing
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    Hard to say. It’s possible he does not accept friend requests from coworkers, or maybe you mistook his friendliness for flirting.
     
    #2 mlansing, Jan 17, 2023
  3. Incoming

    Incoming
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    It would be easy to speculate - without adequate proof - that he's not comfortable with his sexuality, or not comfortable with acting on it.

    But there are other possibilities. Might he have been reacting to a friend request from someone else ? January tends to be a tough month in general, so could he be going through other difficulties in life, too ?

    I empathize with you because in all the years that I was actively dating I was easily crushed by real or merely perceived rejection to my gestures of interest in others. If there's a silver lining here, this guy's behavior seems to have been quite ambiguous from the start... there's reason not to take his actions too personally ?
     
    #3 Incoming, Jan 17, 2023
    thexboxguy and Rayland like this.
  4. mlansing

    mlansing
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    Are you on dating apps? If not, I recommend using those as a way to meet people where you don’t have to wonder about their sexual preferences. It’s tough to know for sure with coworkers or people you otherwise meet in everyday life.
     
    #4 mlansing, Jan 17, 2023
  5. thexboxguy

    thexboxguy
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    I went to the store today to sign my settlement and he didn't talk to me at all and ignored me. He was really cold as if he didn't know me at all. Tbh, I didn't talk to him, either. Weird, isn't it?

    Like I said before, I didn't do anything to him. I always helped him when he needed it and treated him well.
     
    #5 thexboxguy, Jan 17, 2023
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2023
  6. Incoming

    Incoming
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    Perhaps the guy has issues with intimacy and trust. He might seek out friendship, yet feel threatened once his efforts attract serious interest.
    I'm sorry you had to be faced with that. Time to move on ?

    Don't be surprised if it happens again... vulnerability is particularly scary for men if they've been raised to repress emotions.
     
    #6 Incoming, Jan 18, 2023
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