1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Why do some insist that porn = orientation?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by curiouspasserby, Aug 28, 2021.

  1. curiouspasserby

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2021
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Sometimes when I peruse other sites such as Reddit, I encounter questions asking how people can watch and even masturbate to pornography that is inconsistent with their orientation (I.e heterosexual women who watch lesbian porn, lesbians who watch gay porn, straight men you watch gay porn, etc). Typically the majority of respondents tend to agree that porn isn't always a reflection of your orientation, which is consistent with the rhetoric that many psychologists, therapists, etc espouse. However there are a few respondents who insist that pornography is a reflection of your orientation and state that some viewers on simply in denial. Essentially, many with this perspective state that they cannot understand how you can watch sexual content with people you are not attracted too. Though, from my understanding, many watch pornography due to its sexual nature not necessarily because they are attracted to the particular actors or interested in participating in the sexual acts depicted in the video.

    I just wanted anyone's perspectives/thoughts on the matter. Is the porn = orientation a simplistic view of sexuality and orientation or not?
     
    BiGemini87 likes this.
  2. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,007
    Likes Received:
    3,853
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Quite simply, porn is engineered to create sexual arousal. And in general, it's really good at that. So it can cause arousal in some (perhaps many) even if the performers aren't attractive to the viewer, and in some cases, even if the performers aren't of the sex that's appealing to the viewer.

    It essentially has low correlation to sexual orientation for that reason and is a terrible indicator of sexual orientation.
     
  3. masterofnone

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2021
    Messages:
    121
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    i mean me personally i couldn’t watch gay porn and be aroused (i’m straight) and i couldn’t imagine watching that and liking it as there’s no where for me to put myself in the scenario, but i could definitely see it being the opposite for some people.
     
    curiouspasserby likes this.
  4. QuietPeace

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2020
    Messages:
    1,706
    Likes Received:
    1,148
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I agree with Chip that there is low correlation. There are lesbians who watch gay porn despite neither of them being men and with neither of them wanting to be with men.

    As to why do some people keep insisting despite there being no real evidence. People often have beliefs and refuse to listen to any evidence to the contrary. Some people insist the universe is around 6,000 years old despite all the evidence to the contrary and there are plenty of other examples.
    https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Willful_ignorance
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
     
    curiouspasserby and BiGemini87 like this.
  5. BiGemini87

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    812
    Likes Received:
    625
    Location:
    Pembroke, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Pretty much what Chip said: while some people genuinely can't watch porn in which they aren't attracted to the actors (or their particular sex), many people are able to watch various types of porn for the sole reason that it arouses them/allows them sexual relief.

    While I can see there being some correlation on occasion, it's certainly not the deciding factor when it comes to a person's orientation. I've noticed the same mindset you spoke of on reddit as well; it does get pretty tiring trying to explain the same thing over and over to people who don't want to listen.
     
    curiouspasserby and masterofnone like this.
  6. curiouspasserby

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2021
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    @Chip @masterofnone @QuietPeace @BiGemini87 Thank you all for your perspectives. I do agree that pornography is deliberately engineered to be arousing similar to how movies and video games are intended to be entertaining and addictive. I find the argument similar to those that assert that engaging in violent video games makes one more violent or that violent video games indicate that you are a violent person. Similar to porn, video games are meant to draw people regardless of their characteristics. Sure, some who play such games may be predisposed to violence or may become more aggressive but many more have a non-violent temperament and simply enjoy the games.
     
    masterofnone likes this.
  7. Sadness

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2020
    Messages:
    320
    Likes Received:
    57
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Not at all, it doesnt say anything about your sexuality, to me any type of porn aŕouses me i think.
     
  8. RD Spencer

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2020
    Messages:
    182
    Likes Received:
    83
    Location:
    Western Wa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    When referring to this, it seems like everyone is thinking of porn videos.

    However porn is not just videos.

    Porn can be just simple nude pictures.


    I get that videos are not a good indicator, but I am not convinced that the same can be said about pictures of a person posing nude without any other sexual content.


    And what about none nude pictures like underwear and bikini ads?

    Would this not be telling to some degree?
     
  9. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,007
    Likes Received:
    3,853
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Interestingly, there's actually some pretty solid data that exposure to violence does, indeed, foster a tendency toward more aggressive and/or violent behavior. So not quite the same. But I see your point.
     
    curiouspasserby likes this.
  10. Engdood1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2021
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I would be interested to hear some response to this. For me I cannot get aroused looking at photos women anymore but I can for men. Same with pornography. But I could still be straight?
     
  11. Engdood1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2021
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Like, could I just be a straight guy that likes gay porn?
     
  12. QuietPeace

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2020
    Messages:
    1,706
    Likes Received:
    1,148
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Does the thought of being sexual with an actual man arouse you? If you are only aroused by the thoughts of actually being with a woman and not at all aroused by thoughts of being sexual with a man then yes regardless of what porn you may watch then you are most likely straight.
     
  13. Engdood1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2021
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    The thought of being with an actual man arouses me as well. I like to look at women but I do not get aroused at the thought of sex.
     
  14. QuietPeace

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2020
    Messages:
    1,706
    Likes Received:
    1,148
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    If you are not aroused by women then what at all makes you think that you are in any way straight? If no one aroused you then asexual would be an option. If a man is only aroused by men and not at all aroused by women that is pretty much the definition of being gay.
     
  15. Jared J

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2021
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Usa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I am a bisexual male who is remantically straight but sexually gay. I'm the exact opposite of what someone would assume of my orientation if they looked through my browser history. I watch straight porn almost exclusively. I love pretending I am the girl. In fact I have asked one or two of my tops to re-enact sexy porn scenes with me being the girl. Its hot, just not what people would assume
     
  16. Engdood1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2021
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I am attracted to them in real life. We are talking about fantasy and masturbation.
     
  17. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,007
    Likes Received:
    3,853
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    1. There is no data, anywhere, that supports the idea of a separation between romantic and sexual orientation. To say otherwise just confuses people who are trying to figure themselves out.

    2. Engdood, what you are describing sounds like textbook denial of someone who is gay but isn't yet ready to accept it.
     
  18. QuietPeace

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2020
    Messages:
    1,706
    Likes Received:
    1,148
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Here you say that you are not aroused at the thought of having sex with women.
    Here you now say that you are, which is it?

    The OP was talking about connecting porn with orientation. Since this post is about orientation relating to porn and the discussion says that porn is not connected with orientation but real life desires are that is why I mention it.
     
  19. Engdood1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2021
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Ok, thanks for your perspective. I’ll keep trying to progress my thinking.
     
  20. curiouspasserby

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2021
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    This is an interesting point! However, in many cultures that are sex negative, nudity itself is sexualized. So, the distinction between nude photos and pornography may be tenuous for some. Even underwear modeling and bikini modeling are intentionally sexualized to increase product sales since sex sells.

    I'm also interested in hearing others insight on that topic!