Why are women attracted to men?

That's something that I've been questioning myself for a very long time. In my mind, it didn't make any sense for me to have a boyfriend since most men are/pretend to be aggressive, perverts and don't evencare about their appearance as much as women. Of course, they're stereotypes, but let's keep going.

When I was an young teen I didn't knew how it felt like to fall in love with anyone and I honestly couldn't understand what was so good about dating a boy. Of course, they were sexy and good looking, so what? Don't these girls know that they'd treat them like trash or take away every opportunity to get a good job once they got pregnant? The feelings I started to develop at the same sex were making these thoughts even more logical. Why be with a guy if I can have a girlfriend?

As the years passed by, I just couldn't ignore it. I was obsessing about guys all the time. I looked at them, watched pornography with them and had sexual fantasies with the opposite sex every single day. At this point, I had to just accept that or drive myself crazy.

In the end, the reason we androphilics like men is pretty much the same reason that you like girls: You can't stop liking them, no matter what. It's not related to the benefits we get from them, it's just the fact that sexual desire exists. Of course, many lesbians have tried to make themselves straight, but they still couldn't fight against their love for the females. We can't do that either.

By the way, not every man is like that. Some of them are almost like women/very feminine.

 

Honestly, I don't quite know why I like men as well as women. But it should be said that a lot of my problems/discomfort around men tend to be when they embody what I don't like, I.E. Misogyny, ignorance, violence, low body/BO maintenance, fascination by gross things, apparently insatiable (or at least, that's what they claim...) sexual appetite, etc...

Stick me in a room with a man who doesn't have these traits and I'm probably cool. Perhaps I'm just not that cool with men right now because I'm bored of hanging around with them!

Peace y'all

 

Because we are attracted to them... It's as simple as that. When I was approximately six years old I felt attraction towards my hairdresser. I can't explain why, I only know that I had never met anyone up untill then who was so sweet and caring. Why women fall for masculine men, I don't know either. I prefer the nice ones, the more feminine ones.

 

As a bisexual girl I kind of have two things to say.
One, idk. Unfortunately attraction isn't something one can choose and I'm sure many of us agree with that. A lot of us have a type of person we are attracted to, and it just happens. I understand you cannot personally connect with having an attraction to men- I feel the same way about people who are aromantic/asexual as a bisexual girl with a high libido. I can't imagine living without romantic and sexual feelings, but there are people who do even though I can't personally connect with that aspect of (a)sexuality.

2) This thread makes me a little upset. It's not because you guys don't experience attraction towards the opposite sex, or find them plainly unattractive. It is natural to only be attracted to certain genders/types of people. It is mostly the generalizations that you guys are making about men, in general. I hate to be the one saying "not all men", but I think that's valid here. It is one thing to say "I don't find guys attractive" and another to say "How is it even possible to find men attractive because they have so many flaws"

I'm currently in a year long, straight relationship. And I guess I'll write out my experience:
We have similar political and religious ideas, similar hobbies and passions.
He takes a lot of interest in what I like. He has never said anything degrading about someone based on their gender/race/sexuality. He's actively supportive of LGBT rights. We're both adamantly against slut-shaming, victim-blaming and the concept of forced modesty in women.
One time I was anxious and had a breakdown and flashbacks from my previous, unhealthy (lesbian) relationship. I got really scared, and I told him I "didn't mean to act that way I'm sorry i'll look better for you" and he cried and said he never wanted me to feel like I had to be anything for him and it made him really sad that I thought I had to change something about myself for him.
He's actually more emotional than I am.
Takes care of himself hygienically.
I find him attractive
He is very supportive and gentle, yet assertive when handling my mental health issues.
He..knows how to please (sexually), and consistently asks for suggestions to improve.
My needs in the relationship hold equal importance to his, and he always takes our arguments to heart and we try to improve/compromise.

 

Honestly never met a man who didnt control his B.O or pretended/was actually aggressive, outside of highschool.

"Honestly, I don't quite know why I like men as well as women. But it should be said that a lot of my problems/discomfort around men tend to be when they embody what I don't like, I.E. Misogyny, ignorance, violence, low body/BO maintenance, fascination by gross things, apparently insatiable (or at least, that's what they claim...) sexual appetite, etc..."

This is another weird comment to make. Your from the UK but you apparently are constantly running into misogynistic men? I've literally never met anyone unironically claim that women were inferior. Mind you we live in different countries, but I think this speaks less about men and more about your personal anecdotal experience with them; in other words, if you dont want to be treated like shit, find people who dont act like shit.

It's actually fairly rare to come across people who are actually just complete dirt bags, or fail to shower and bathe. You wouldnt know it if you read this thread though...

 

I agree. It's probably because some people find the idea of femininity in general attractive, although that seems to be a lot less common in women who are attracted to men?

 

Yeah, I'd also like to know why I am attracted to men. It just doesn't make sense, I have little to no things in common with most of them and girls are just so much better! But life doesn't always make sense. I do like the male physique, as long as it's accordingly groomed, but personality-wise it just beats me.

Statistically speaking, women are a little bit more witty than men, considering more females finish higher education and all that, but we also live in a culture where men tend to be shunned upon if they're "nerds", while women are encouraged, so that might have something to do with it.

 

It is LEGAL for a woman to rape someone? I think that must be some misunderstanding of the law...

 

^ Rape in a lot of areas is defined as unwanted penis in vagina intercourse. So sexual contact outside of that can sometimes slip by the law depending on where you live.

 

It's not a misunderstanding. A woman can only rape a child, someone with a lower mental age or help a man rape someone. Or if she is trans and has a penis, and therefore can penetrate. People tried to change the law in 2014 but the government wouldn't because it doesn't happen often (even though because it's not a crime it might be under reported). You *might* be able to charge the woman with sexual assault. The idea that because a woman can't physically overpower a man she can't verbally force him into it, or that if the man erects that is consent (even though it's a biological reaction that I don't think men can control). Women, straight and lesbian, often have this ''sorority'' image of female/female relationships, which it isn't always, according to some statistics that I can't remember the source, 52% of f/f relationships end in some sort of abuse. I'm not even sure if it would be considered "okay" to send a transwoman to prison as if she was cis, the oppressive majority, she wouldn't be sent.

I looked on the internet for about three hours hoping it was some sort of misunderstanding. It's not.

 

@18breanna I don't know if it is a lot less common. I am not sure if all women are open about their preferences. Of course I can only speak for myself. But just like society expects men to look and behave masculine, society expects women to prefer masculine men. I think this is a good article concerning the subject. I agree with most of it. http://thoughtcatalog.com/elaine-la...man-whos-seriously-attracted-to-feminine-men/

 

I got out of high school recently, so I don't know many different men yet. It's still very easy to find misogynistic men around here though. It's a cultural thing here, I guess.

 

That's so true. Thanks for the link!

 

Well. Babies obviously. Procreation.

 

I also disagree with stereotyping all men but I disagree with your arguments here. There are plenty of misogynistic men around and it's not the woman's fault for encountering them. I live in the US so this might not apply to society in the UK, but in my experiences presenting as a woman I have been mistreated by men many times. I have faced chronic unwanted sexual harassment from boys in three different episodes of my life before reaching high school. In the first case it was by multiple students. In the last it was by an older student and it got to the point where my family reported it to the director of the summer school classes. He ignored it and told my mom to "just let me have fun." The female teacher had to intervene herself and keep us apart in class. All of the incidents took place in class, in the presence of teachers and that was the only time anyone intervened or acknowledged it. Of course that doesn't include the times I've been ignored and underestimated by males and bullied by them for my "tomboy" behavior and appearance. I know women can do that too but I haven't encountered any who looked down on me like that or felt the need to punish me for failing to conform to their expectations for a women. I didn't have a choice in any of it, I didn't do anything to let these people into my lives, so it sort of bothers me when you place the burden on Nightdream to not be treated like shit. Of course a lot of people have had better experiences but please don't discount the experiences of those of us who have encountered misogyny.

 

I'm a bisexual woman and I'll have to say, it's very rare that men walking past me on the street catch my eye. It happens, but only to admire their looks, nothing sexual or emotional. I've fallen in love a few times with men and every time it's just random, I can never tell what exactly it was that made me fall for them and I guess that's why sexuality is weird. I just know that once I'm hooked, traits that I generally wouldn't consider attractive suddenly are on that particular guy. For example, I used to hate chest hair and beards, fell in love with a guy who decided to grow it out and now I find it super hot. So most guys are meh, but then you find a guy who's really standing out from the rest, and God knows what he's done to deserve that attention from you lol.

 

Oh, and to clarify, I also despise when straight people tries to question my sexuality with logic (because sexual attraction simply isn't logical and entirely subjective). I've seen a heterosexual woman on Quora replying to an answer of mine (where I said I was gay) and she started being really rude, something like:

"But why don't you want men?? Men are so sexy, and strong, and women are just always bitches to each other. I don't understand you lesbians, I really don't..."

And that also suck. I don't know, I just hate how many people won't get that sexual attraction is illogical and unexplainable for the most part.

 

If you are asking for an objective answer on this, you wont get one. Nobody knows why some people are a certain sexuality and why others are another sexuality. We dont know.

 

Sorry, only now have I read what you had to say. When I wrote this down, I was very angry because of the things that men have done to me. I have clearly stated that these were just stereotypes, but I probably forgot to say that I didn't believe it was true. The way I wrote was actually supposed to show how I used to view men in a general way and I did this because the OP probably thought like that. I wanted to make sure she understood that, hell, if I could stop feeling attracted to men, I would. It wasn't meant to offend anybody. By the way, I tried to stay away from bad guys, but it's just impossible. Men that appeared to be good ended up by hurting me. Don't act like just a minority of men were like this. We live in a patriarch society for a reason.