To answer the original post. I see why somebody could think that given the fact that some traits can be found across genders, such as femininity in men, etc. it would follow that most people could be attracted to those traits in people regardless of their sex, but unfortunately this is not how things work for some people. For me the attraction could possibly work that way to some extent, but the difference in actual experience is kind of biological, its about the sex/gender of the person having an impact on how I connect to them, and I strongly feel this is biological/neurological rather than just a matter of personal preference. To me sexual energy and sexual connection is a kind of current, and I simply lack the interface and circuitry to feel connected to a person if they happen to be male. I can love a guy and like his body (not be attracted to it sexually, but like it because it belongs to somebody I have feelings for, so clearly I was attracted to some gender-neutral traits of his), but in practice the sex will feel disconnected, I will feel like somebody is doing something nice to my body, but I am not particularly IN my body when it happens. Its a bit like both of us permanently wearing a space-suit: nothing really touches me inside, and feel like I lack the circuitry to connect to a person if they are male. With a woman there is somehow a feeling of embodiment and direct connection, I have the interface to feel connected to her. It has nothing to do with emotional closeness, or how well you know the person, or how much you like somebody, or how good they are looking, or what traits we like or dislike in people, I feel it is simple and has to do with the way we are wired. I can fall in 'love with a persons soul', but if they happen to have a male body, how the hell am I supposed to connect to that soul? It will be like two people sitting in cars trying to have sex by rubbing bumpers against each other, it will not work, because a man does not know how to get into my car, nor do I know how to get into his.