I am an adult and I live on my own and financially support myself. I am thinking of staying away from my parents from now on because even after knowing I am a lesbian for years and knowing about my relationship with Frances for over a year and a half, they are still not OK with it. I am thinking of ceasing communication with my parents until/if they can accept me and my girlfriend. My brother thinks I should play super nice to them while gently asserting that my girlfriend and I are a unit, giving them a Christmas card signed from my girlfriend and me, mentioning that I am doing things with my gf more often, etc. He hopes that this will eventually bring them around to accepting us, but I don’t know. I have been bringing up my gf more to my mom in the past couple months and she hasn’t changed at all. I’ve heard the advice given that the main leverage an adult child has is their presence in their parents’ life, and that after a year or so if your parents don’t come around, then to cease contact with them until they do. My gf is in favour of me ceasing contact with them until they change. It breaks my heart to think of doing this. I’m scared my parents won’t actually change and that they’ll see me as having pushed them out of my life. I know they will be extremely sad if I don’t come to their house for Christmas morning, let them give me presents, etc. The other thing about this is that if I do cease contact with my parents, should I come out to extended family? My grandparents want me to come over to their place for Christmas dinner, where my parents will also be. I have never heard either of my grandparents mention anything about gay people and I worry terribly that they won't be able to handle it. So my questions are a)Should I cease contact with my parents until they accept me and my gf? And if so, b)Should I also come out to my grandparents so that they know what’s going on, why I won’t be at their place on xmas, etc.?