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When and how did you figure out you were not straight?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Foxfeather, May 4, 2015.

  1. intro55

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    For me it was a couple of years ago, am mid 40s so very late, despite always having thought about guys as well women! It dawned on me that fantasising all the time about guys and rarely about women was probably not what most straight people would do. Once I started questioning I realised that I had always felt something was missing when I saw an attractive women but could never understand what it was... I now realise it was sexual attraction.
     
  2. joshsbach

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    Well I was asked out aged about 12 by an apparently very attractive girl, and I just wasn't really interested. The other guys in my class were mega jealous and then went in to disbelief when I said no, and then assumed I was gay before I knew it myself and therein started 3 years of bullying. It wasn't later until I was about 14 when the only "friend" that hadn't ditched me bc of the bullying pressured me in to watching pornography. I noticed I was far more interested in the guys in it. So later out of curiosity I found some gay porn and worked it out pretty quickly that way. Also I crushed on a straight guy around the same time (which is still hopelessly ongoing) which kinda made me realise;p
     
  3. MotelGuy

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    When: 11 years old...
    How: I started to develop a crush on a football jock in school...
     
  4. sldanlm

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    I had my first inklings when I was 13. Not attracted to any particular girls at school, but saw my brothers playboy magazine, and also a couple of sex books at the library. (The joy of sex, cant remember the title of the other) Although the books were about hetro sex, they had drawings, and I felt myself attracted to the women instead of the guys. In high school I had sexual relationships with a couple of girls, and it felt natural. I tried to have a sexual relationship with guys but couldn't force myself to do it, just didn't feel right at the time.
     
  5. jp97

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    When: 11-13/ aroumd the time I hit puberty.
    How: realized how attracted I was to men and how much vaginas grossed me out.
     
  6. womaninamber

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    When I was in high school I had this dream that I was kissing a girl I knew from school. It was just a dream and probably didn't mean I wanted to kiss this particular girl (who I didn't even know well or like that much) and it probably symbolized something, being a dream. But I felt like I liked the idea and was afraid to admit it to anyone.

    (Then again I still tell myself I'm straight, but that is another story.)
     
  7. Kaiser

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    Well...

    When I could picture myself doing fun things with either gender/sex, that really alerted me to the possibility I could be non-heterosexual. I've never really had a hard time with my sexuality, because I like the idea of being able to find anybody attractive. As I've said before, if I were monosexual, then I may have a problem with that. I like the open possibilities, to put it simply.

    When those thoughts remained fairly consistent, I pretty much knew. A passing one here and there is one thing, but they overstayed a typical visit, and it was then I knew, yeah, they've moved in, LOL.
     
  8. Spacesword

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    Well I knew that I liked girls when I was 11(as well as having a confusing time for my gender identity.) though I turned homophobic since my family was.

    When I was seventeen I got my first girlfriend, came out to some people. Though I had some issues with myself until i was 18
     
  9. Dark Hearts

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    Things always felt a little off, but once I hit puberty at like 14 things really felt way off. I didn't learn what LGBT stuff was in any detail until I was almost 18, and kinda really made things get clicked together.
     
  10. RedLynx

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    My first crush was a girl when I was 11. I also tried to have boy crushes after that because all of my friends' crushes were boys. I thought I was different and I was afraid they might think I'm weird because I liked a girl. I didn't question my sexuality until I was 23 when I had another major crush on one of the models in a reality TV show.
     
  11. Schloss

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    I was a Norwegian pimp king in my past life who created a law where all women of the shire were obliged to sleep with me before they get wed to their husbands. Frustrated, the local villagers summoned Oracle, who, on the day of my death, told me that in my next life (the life I have now) I shall never have carnal knowledge of a lady. I screamed in anguish and died, and now I'm gay.
     
  12. Weregild

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    In 2011/2012 I realized I might be too interested in girls to consider myself straight (and "normal"). Despite having a handful of crushes on guys, girls always caught my attention more. Then I consciously started to think of myself as bisexual, though only last year I decided I should get out of the closet and allow myself to pursue a relationship with a girl.
     
  13. candyjiru

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    Probably when I had my sexual awakening when I saw yuri for the first time XD;;;;; But i thought that was normal, and I didn't really come out to myself for another 10 years @.@;;;;; whoops...
     
  14. tudor rose

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    I suppose the first time I can remember is actually sort of an awkward moment to speak about. As a young teen I remember looking at myself as I masturbated, and finding arousal in the thought of a cock. The odd thing was, at first it was my own cock. I would get a mirror and take pleasure in watching myself as I went to town :grin:
     
  15. Linthras

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    The period I first became aware of sexuality as a concept, so probably around 12 or something? Realising that:
    1. Most people were attracted to one specific gender, mostly the opposite
    and
    2. I could not identify with/undertand that notion.
     
  16. HugasaurusRex

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    When: I was 6
    How: I felt differently towards boys and girls than the other boys around me did (though I did not have a word for it back then). But it was not until I hit puberty that I realised I had a sexual attraction to them as well as a romantic one.
     
  17. sundaygirlx

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    I started noticing how pretty all the girls were around me, and not just in the, "Oh, wow! I like her lipstick, I wonder where she got it from?" way, but more in the, "I really want to kiss you," way. I started developing random crushes and feelings on the girls in school and I just realized from then on.
     
  18. Jack174

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    First Hint: 7th grade at a beach. Mom basically said, "No you're not gay." I accepted that.

    Second Hint: I was attracted to a best friend at the beginning of my college career. Didn't experiment or anything; didn't really know what it was.

    When: After college, I had time to think about it. That is, why I barely dated women and why I didn't really feel anything. I realized that I liked men with certain characteristics.

    How: Started looking at guys.

    I'm now in the closeted mess phase at age 23, but that's better than permanent denial.
     
  19. atoadaso

    atoadaso Guest

    I've been questioning since I was 5. The three main times I questioned the most after that was at ages 8, 13, & 15/16. I figured out I was queer a few days after my 16th birthday, when my former best friend told me she liked me & I realized that all the "joke flirting" I'd been doing with her wasn't as much of a joke as I thought. It took me a while to figure it out because I wasn't developing crushes, but I was getting nervous around girls. That was mainly because I felt like I didn't measure up to them, not so much an attraction to them.
     
  20. choirsmash

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    When: this year haha but it was more that I just assumed I was straight and I'll explain why that changed in the how
    How: well first, a good friend of mine came out to our youth group on the way back from a retreat. It didn't really cross my mind completely at that time, but I realized that it's okay to be something other than straight. I think the real thing that happened was that I met this awesome guy who was super openly gay and I don't really know why I started thinking about my own sexuality but I did and I was all confused for a bit. Then I saw a post about asexuality on tumblr and thought I was ace until I realized that sex would be cool. Eventually after speaking with some friends who are bi/gay, I kinda figured it out. And I just came out to everyone who follows me on Twitter and anyone who has looked at my account since then.