What are you thinking?

Electricity prices skyrocketing has my mother demanding more money from me then accusing me of making her feel guilty for it. Also an ongoing argument that after 30 years I can’t magically get over my fear of the dark and what I can’t see coming at me out of it. Mostly spiders, but my imagination runs away from me in the dark.

 

Thank you! It actually turned out better than expected: at least they didn't make such remarks this time around.

Currently thinking about how much agony my back is in. I hope this heals up fast. >.<

 

Currently thinking about the black eye I'll probably have in the morning after taking a suspension lower arm to the face, certainly been in better moods haha

 

I'm thinking about a conversation I overheard at work about a woman I don't know.

"I'm telling you, she's definitely a lesbian! I know a lesbian when I see one. She owns too many tracksuits to be straight"

Me, a lesbian, wearing a pride pin with the lesbian flag on it, wondering when the last time I owned a tracksuit was and why that's apparently relevant criteria: Um, I don't think you do.

...I almost want to introduce them to cottagecore to watch them become confused. Bringing out the butch - femme fashion chart that used to circle the internet a lot.. that'd be an interesting conversation.

 

Tired of feeling abandoned... My dad literally ghosted my family when I was 12 no clue if he's alive or dead at this point, and now my mom is being stupid and letting herself die, I'm about to lose my parents completely. I've also lost my paternal grandparents, who I wasn't really close to, and my maternal grandpa, who was like a father to me. UGH! Am I really that unworthy of love and acceptance? Does no one want me?!

 

I'm really sorry for all the problems you've had to go through and for your losses as well.

And, of course you're worthy of love and acceptance, just like everybody is. Why should you be less worthy than everybody is?

(*hug*)

 

I'm always being made to feel like I'm wrong. Like nothing I do or am is right. That nothing is ever right with me unless it's how other's want it to be. Like I'm not my own person at all. Like I only matter when I'm of use to others.

 

I strongly believe that you are a wonderful person who is able to do great things. I don't know about your personal situation, so I can't give you some proper advice. But you should be the only owner of your own life and people who only care for you in order to use you might not be the best company. Easier said than done, I know. Also, I'm nobody to give advice. But if you ever need to talk, feel free to post on my wall whenever you want. I might be terrible at giving advice, but I can listen to yourself, only if you feel like.

 

I often ponder what we, as a society, can do that will truely change the way the LGBT community is viewed. It would be a dream to wake up one day and not be treated any differently than anyone else. Maybe a pipe dream but we can do better. I lived decades in a forced box (closet) and conformed to what society told me was an acceptable way to "behave"....so dumb.

 

Still feels freeing posting queer stuff on social media.

Happy Coming Out Day to all my friends that are out, and especially to that aren't out for whatever reason

 

I’m not happy my dad can hear again because he’s going to shout at my dog and then I’ll shout at him and he’ll mention either killing the dog or something about me. I won’t be able to mute the tv anymore and watch stuff on my iPad. My dog is only allowed in one room in the house, my dad won’t leave that room and the tv with the sound on drives my dog mad.

 

I want to watch TV but I think I should do something productive. Global warming sucks; it shouldn't be summer weather in October. Apples. Siblings are loud. I should text my friends. I probably won't.

 

Sucks being the only 100% sober one in the room. I never liked the taste of alcohol but it would hide the fact that everyone else, including the guy drinking beer, maybe should have stopped a few drinks and a bottle of wine ago.

 

I'm thinking it's amazing that after thirteen years my account is still here. And i remembered the login and my password (go me!). I'm also thinking that I need help again, after so long of thinking that i 'had it all figured out'..

 

Welcome back

 

You remembering the login deets is awesome and you signed up almost as long ago as me lol! Edit: and welcome back!

 

I get sad when it seems like my family and perhaps much of the world, only cares if I keep busy, whether I'm happy or want to exist is not of concern.

 

Tired of humans

 

I

wish I knew about this site 13 years ago. haha. Better late than never though.