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Wanting to experiment with gender

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Dragon Master, Jan 9, 2022.

  1. Dragon Master

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    Hello!
    As of recently, I've been questioning my gender as I don't think I am a woman. I never felt like one or associated with the idea. After some deep diving, I think I'm agender but masculine leaning. I want to experiment with he/they pronouns and start expressing myself androgynously, however I don't know how to tell my family or any of my friends that and I'm scared to. Does anyone have any advice?
     
  2. Aspen

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    My big question is: What are your friends and family like? Do you have anyone that you're close to that's particularly open when it comes to talking about gender? People that will give you a safe space to come out and see how it feels?
     
  3. Dragon Master

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    My family judge me whenever I act outside of the "quiet, smart girl" box and I never hear the end of it. I do I have supportive friends but they are busy all the time, so I can't get a hold of them. My main concern is that I want to get new clothing that is more masculine (especially getting a pair of boxers), but I don't know how to ask for that from my parents.
     
  4. Aspen

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    I sympathize, as a fellow "quiet, smart girl." Can you go shopping on your own at all? Or, if you have to go with your family, are there pieces that they won't question that you can buy? Flannel shirts, men's jeans (the pockets)? My wife has a pair of shorts that look just like boxers but they're for wearing under dresses to prevent chafing.
     
  5. Dragon Master

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    I could try but my family has already expressed they aren't fond of flannels or me looking anything but cute or pretty. I don't want to be cute or pretty. I want to be cool! Cool in my own way. I tried to experiment during Halloween and dressed up as the grim reaper. Both my mom and my sister weren't happy with my choice and wanted me to be something prettier and cuter. It's this situation that partly spurred my gender questioning because I always felt this way while clothes shopping. My mom and sister would want me to wear a frilly dress while I was in awe at the men's section with it's simplicty yet impactfulness through the clothing. I always leaned towards gender neutral items and I don't like my hair in an updo. I prefer it when it's shaggy, but again (you'll see a common theme here), the two main woman of the family express they don't like my style. My dad os the only person who is indifferent about what I do. He's actually really supportive. I just never get ths chance to talk to him in private :frowning2:. So, basically those are my barriers.
     
  6. Alex2

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    Unless you live in a very conservative area, a great place to try out he/they pronouns without worrying about your family stopping you is at school. If you aren't comfortable going straight from she/her to he/they, maybe you could try out they/them first and move on to he/they when people are used to it. If your school has a GSA (gay/straight alliance or gender/sexuality alliance,) this is an even better place to try out different names and pronouns, since everyone there will be very accepting and you won't have to risk pushback. And not only will a GSA be a great place to test out a different pronoun set, but it's a great way to make friends, too. Good luck!
     
  7. Dragon Master

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    Thank you! I do have a GSA in my school and I don't live in a conservative area, however I never am able to attend meetings because I'm so busy. But I guess I could should try to make time for it because my gender questioning has been bothering me a lot lately.
     
  8. Jakebusman

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    I want to start expermenting too