A few weeks back, I made a post asking for advice about how to come out at school. I didn't actually end up coming out, and I'm still not out, but I've thought of a plan that narrowly avoids the obstacles that have been holding me back until now. My first inspiration came when I talked to my new electives teacher, who also happens to be non-binary. They said that what they've seen with young people is that they will choose a handful of friends to come out to, and then let the information spread to other people. I would have done this myself, since, after all, my school is very open-minded and accepting of the LGBTQIA+ community, but I don't actually have any friends right now. But then yesterday at lunch, I overheard a gay classmate coming out to someone who I've never actually seen them hanging out with before, and it gave me an idea. Although I don't have any friends, there are some people at my school who I used to be pretty good friends with, and we're still very friendly with each other even if we don't hang out all the time. So I thought - why not come out to them? Although I was hesitant to come out over email before, I've found out that students are actually allowed to send non-academic emails at my school over our school accounts as long as we're not wasting class time, so I'm thinking of sending an email to one of those people and seeing what happens. What do you all think? Does this sound like a reasonable plan?
Sure! Do what your heart desires. This is a great plan, the first step to fully coming out. P.S. - Still struggling with coming out myself...
Alex.....I'm not sure how to react to the fact that you have an out NB teacher! I don't know if I should be excited, thrilled, astonished, surprised or all of them at once! That is so incredible in comparison to what I experienced in my 33 years as a high school teacher! I know that we have come a very long way but have a long way yet to go, but still that this kind of thing can happen is just so wonderful!! As far as you sending an email to someone to carefully start the coming out process, I think it's a great idea. I have often suggested that an email, a text or a letter is sometimes a really good way to start coming out as it gives the person receiving the letter, etc. a chance to digest and think about what it says before they talk to the person who sent the letter again. So I am very excited about this for you! It made my day! .....David
Thanks for all of your responses and advice! You guys are awesome! I have the email drafted and plan to send it soon. I agree, it's truly amazing that people are becoming so accepting of the LGBTQ+ community and open to talking about it, so much so that one of my teachers is comfortable being open about their non-binary identity. Whatever I end up doing in the real world, I plan to advocate for the celebration of diversity in whatever my workplace may be - whether it's an office, a school, or even the whole world, and it's thanks to people like you that myself and so many others are comfortable doing this.
Sorry if my tone sounded a little weird. I was just trying to seem inspirational and thankful for the support that myself and others have gotten on EC, but I guess it came off as a bit arrogant.
So, I am from Miami, FL and raised in Fort Lauderdale. But I was moved to small-town East Texas at 14, just prior to high school. (I went to the same high school as Matthew McConaughey, albeit a couple decades later.) And it’s funny because I was picked on a bit. I came out of the closet and suddenly all the guys who picked on me became my friends. I joke about different reasons why that could be, but the truth is I was a good looking kid, tho a goth at the time. The reason they picked on me was because I was friends with all their girlfriends, and they thought I was trying to slide to home with them. When I came out of the closet, that threat no longer existed and it made sense why their girlfriends and I got along. None of us talk anymore, with a few exceptions, because they’re all religious conservatives. But when it comes to school, and obviously this is most applicable to Americans and some other Western Europeans, always assume that people are picking on you because they want you to be true to yourself. Their goals may not be so noble and my experience may not be everyone’s, but this was 1998… in East Texas. Me in high school in 1998: People do not care about L’s, G’s, or B’s anymore. That’s true for kids at school, faculty, etc. We definitely need to make more progress with the T’s. When it comes to parents, my father and I, to this day, have issues because of my sexuality. My mother is fine with it. His issues are based on religious conviction and therefore cannot be reasoned with. In either case, I gave him 23 years to get over it and whether he did was his decision to choose. I was always cared for, and I’m still loved. Anyone who does not love you because of who you are attracted to you is a fool, and probably had more issues than just that. P.S., do not be reckless. Do not do something that you know matter-of-factly to be unsafe. Or wait until you’re old enough to petition a court for emancipation and can take care of yourself in case things go south.
In fact, now that I think about it, after I came out, half the school, particularly females, came out as “bi.” I put it in quotes because I doubted some of the case studies, but I don’t judge how others self identify. P.S., the link to the photo was an imgur link. No account with them. Didn’t think it would be blocked. I just uploaded the photo.
