Turns out one of my closest friends is transphobic.

I have a friend like this, except both of us wanted to be more than friends at the time. I don't know how to come out to him as trans. I came out to him as bisexual a long time ago (for me at least), getting closer to four years now I think. He was not accepting, in fact he said, "I don't agree with it, but ok." This turned into an argument at a later time. Long story short we didn't date, and I figured out I'm trans. I still haven't told him for fear of what he'll say. He is a staunch Christian, and already didn't accept me (albeit my sexual orientation, rather than gender). I'm kind of glad in a way, we should not be together lol.

Your friend could come around eventually, but I'll be honest, that sounds unlikely to me. He thinks being trans is a mental illness and a sin according to what he's said to you. That's a hard mindset to undo, especially when you're so entrenched in it. I would know, I had to kind of undo it on myself a bit and still deal with my parents (who are more than entrenched in it).

I know that really hurts and I'm sorry you know that pain. I want you to remember that people do love and accept you for who you are, including me. However, you may need to talk to him to ask him to give you time to figure out how to come out to your parents. That way it doesn't slip out, he doesn't have to lie to keep a secret.

 

Always hurts when you're shunned, especially by someone who you thought had your back. But in a way he did you a favor by being so blunt. Now you can move on, if you choose to.

 

Sorry you had to go through that just got rid of a friend like fred didn't accept me because im Bisexual and wanted me and him to pray together to fix me and my struggles with same sex attraction.

 

Oh dear. Well, that's the end of that friendship..

As you grow older and grow as a person you'll discover that it's impossible to remain friends with a lot of people. People change. People move on (both geographically and as individuals). Having a gradual churn of friends is completely natural, and actually quite healthy (who wants to have the same friends at 35 as you had at 15?). So, Fred was a good person to be around for those four years and now he's not. C'est la vie.

What's more important is that you have a support network of good friends who accept you for being you, ie a trans girl.

Beth x

 

Is this person a good friend? I don’t think a truly good friend would say that, regardless of how strong the religious conviction might be. If you are not that close, I would say take this as your cue to create distance from this person. If the person is a good friend, sometimes people just need time to process, but a bit of space would probably be wise in this case as well.

 

Last year, awhile back I tried catching up with somebody I thought was kind of a friend online. I told them that I went by he/his pronouns and that I was trans. And they said some rather nasty similar things that "I was gross and how could I be against the body God gave me or some bullcrap like that." Honestly, it shook me up a little bit...these people that claim to love thy neighbor through their "religion" would no sooner throw you to the wolves.

While your "friend" doesn't sound exactly like the person who spat hate back in my face....just for telling them I was trans....it still sounds eerily similar. I personally had to report and block this person to keep my sanity on the website we're on. You may have to stop being friends with this person if he clearly is not going to respect you for who you are..

Being transgender isn't a mental disease nor a choice. However, being a hateful af bigot is...I personally wouldn't want to be around someone like that who's going to make me feel like crap just for trying to be happier in my life. you don't need that kind of toxicity around. but ultimately it's up to you. You deserve friends IRL or online that respect you and accept you for who you are.

 

Hope your doing ok