I learned from this site the importance of timing when coming out, but I don't want to use that as an excuse to delay. I've decided Friday evening would be best: I can tell my wife and we'll have as long as we need to talk, and two days to process the conversation before the work week starts. But this Friday is not good because we're having friends over every night of the weekend. Also, I don't want to say "it must be Friday", because there's the chance that we might have a related conversation in which the subject could come up naturally. Maybe I'm just over-thinking this, because I'm pretty sure she's going to take it well. I Has this been discussed in-depth elsewhere?
I waited for a specific time to tell my parents. It definitely helped me feel calmer and make sure I had my ducks in a row. For that matter, I was deliberate about when I told my friends. The good thing is you presumably live with your wife, so you're talking about possibly delaying days (or maybe weeks). Not months. I would think what you don't want to risk is her having a hard reaction and her then needing to be "on" for friends the next day. But, I've also never been in your shoes.
To me, it sounds like you're thinking about this sensibly--not like procrastinating at all. It's reasonable to want to give both yourself and your wife time to discuss, process, and work through anything that may or may not come up regarding it. Having friends over right after such a conversation might put a strain on things, even if she is accepting and supportive. If it can come up organically outside of a Friday, great! But if not, there's nothing wrong with your plan.
I would agree that this isn't procrastination. Your thinking is logical and sound. Most likely, the best time to tell her will come up organically.
EDIT.....I see that I missed the post where you did come out to your wife and it went well! I am so happy for both of you and hope that you have many years together! .....David ThxSens8.....I don't know how set you are on telling her right away, but I have often suggested that you might want to consider using a letter WHEN the time comes to come out. Coming out in writing/email means you will not be interrupted or face a barrage of questions that you need to answer immediately, in the heat of the moment. You get time and they get time too and that counts for a lot. There are some great sample coming out letters here on empty closets that could be a big help to you. Even if you don't eventually use the letter/email, taking the time to think about it and to write one will help you to be sure to say what you need to say and leave out the rest! You can even use it as a kind of script if you do choose to come out verbally to them! Again a big plus to a letter is that you don't have to be present when the letter is read. That can be a very big help as it eliminates the potential face-to-face confrontation that can easily go bad. It gives the person reading the letter some time to think before they talk to you. After all, you've had time to think about your sexuality...giving them some time to think about it too only seems fair! Check the letters out (see below)...they could be a real help! *****Also...when you do come out, whether it's tomorrow or months from now, there will probably be questions. Take some time now to think about what those questions might be. Such as; "How do you know you are Bi?" or "How long have you felt this way?" etc. The questions themselves will vary a great deal dependent upon the situation...so take that into consideration. If you work up a list of five or so questions with the answers already planned, you will be perceived as a more mature, serious person. *****COMING OUT LETTERS: http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out-letters.php *****Remember...you are a part of our LGBTQ Family and we do care! Keep us updated on how things are going for you! .....David
