I have a bad habit of referring to people as they / them even when I know someone only uses he / him or she / her. Frankly I'm not fully sure why I do this. I'm trying to break out of it though. Personally I use she / her but I have no problem with they / them. However, I avoid introducing myself as she / they because that doesn't seem accurate either. I would be fine if you never used they to refer to me, but I would also be fine with you using they. The only pronouns I actively dislike when used to refer to me is he / him because I am absolutely not a he / him or a he / they. So usually I just say she / her if anyone asks.
I feel like I am not the best person to answer this, but I'm a she/they as well, and for me at least, I feel it's accurate because I feel the way you described - I would be fine if no one used she/her OR they/them and just picked a side, but for me it reflects that I see myself as the Being that I am more than the gender I feel in this physical body. I usually present more femme, but I feel like a gender-neutral being, so for me I'm fine with either one. Am I using the pronouns incorrectly? As far as referring to people as they/them despite their preferences, I think it is a good idea to keep trying to break that habit, as I imagine the struggle for a trans person especially who has fought so hard for that new pronoun deserves it (or even the cis people who don't "get" they/them pronouns might be too thrown off by it that they stop listening and are consumed by their own thoughts lol). That said though, I get it! We're all genderless beings inside these weird skin rockets, so it seems weird to me to put people in a box, even when it's a chosen box.
I am not certain what you are asking. If you are fine with either she/her or they/them it might be that you lean slightly into being nonbinary. If it is not something that you need I guess that you do not have to be "out" about it and just let people refer to you with either pronoun. I agree with Lesbee though about being more careful in referring to other people. I had one person in my life who deliberately referred to me with they/them pronouns despite knowing that I am binary female, he did it to be disrespectful (as indicated by a lot of other things that he did) and it was annoying to me.
I feel like for me it really varies. Sometimes my female gender really matters a lot and I experience almost a sense of gender euphoria (if you'll allow). A certain happiness about being called a woman or a lady. However, I also have days where I would prefer to present as more androgynous if I could (looking forward to moving out and being able to try some new styles without comment from my family) and I'd actually feel uncomfortable wearing a dress (yet happy to do so on other days) because it would feel performative in a way I can't describe. I know I've felt like wanting to be feminine in the way guys are, not because it's expected of me as a woman, but as a form of expression. That sense of androgyny whilst still being female. I also like when people refer to me as dapper sometimes, despite the term often being thought of as a male thing. Yes, the whole genderless beings inside weird skin rocket things. I think the habit formed because I tend to forget that other people have an emotional response to they when for me it would just be the equivalent to someone referring to me as a person. Leaning slightly seems accurate. I'm not full on neutral, I do have a sense of gender but it just holds more weight on certain days than on others. Yet I am always a woman. I am sometimes insecure about having a 'boyish' body but I also feel like wearing more masculine clothing sometimes so that's conflicting. Sometimes I wish I had a more feminine body so I could dress more androgynously without worrying about coming across as young. I do feel jealous of tomboyish women with wide hips, especially since my lack of such has been a point of teasing (e.g. your hips don't lie because you don't have any). Yep, this is why I want to change and break out of the habit. I will make more effort to do so.
