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super squeamish about vaginas and nipples ??

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Ameryllis, Feb 11, 2021.

  1. Ameryllis

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    - i am a 20 year old gal

    erm soo ... i dont exactly know why, but whenever me and my girlfriend are fooling around i get soo squeamish when she fingers me, or touches my nipples? i've always been incredibly squeamish as a person, but this bugs me soo much!

    i wish i could just enjoy sex rather than being uncomfortable and have to cringe when she touches me. i am fine when it comes to touching her! she has expressed that she wishes she could pleasure me the same way i am able to do to her, but as of now i do not know a way around it. :frowning2:

    can anyone relate or offer advice?
     
  2. LostInDaydreams

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    Hi @Ameryllis

    I’m sorry that you’re in this situation. Without knowing why you feel this way, it’s difficult to know what to suggest. Do you actually want her to touch you? Is your girlfriend the first person that you’ve been intimate with, and if so, has this happened before?

    If you can’t narrow down what the reason is and it becomes an ongoing concern, then perhaps you could consider speaking to a therapist. Therapy might help you to work out what’s causing this and to address if appropriate.
     
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  3. Chip

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    Can you identify what you experience when you're touched in this way? I get "squeamish", but what underlies that, as in, what emotion, or what message is your body sending to you? Do you have any prior history of any trauma?
     
  4. QuietPeace

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    I think the fact that you have no problem with touching her but do have trouble being touched is something that you should really think about. When I saw the title my first thought was that you might be asking about being able to pleasure someone else but that is not true.

    Is it possible that something in your upbringing makes you think that you should not be getting pleasure or being touched that way (just so you know, I was brought up that way). I second you trying out therapy.
     
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  5. Ameryllis

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    It's very much just rooted in the fact that I find it gross when parts that are inside my body are like ... touched or exposed? bc they feel like they should remain inside my body and dont seem like they should be touched?

    I reallyy want her to touch me and me feel pleasure from it !! i do feel pleasure from other forms of intimacy, the best way i can describe it is just that my vagina almost feels unable to feel pleasure? and im incredibly squeamish with touch there so that might factor in, like it almost hurts?

    & she is my first girlfriend that i have been intimate w, but that's only bc of shyness and imcompatibility w others. Me and my girlfriend are very open w each other and she knows how i feel abt it!
     
  6. Ram90

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    Hi there! I've done my fair share of fooling around with guys and I'm very, very ticklish. Haha. I'm totally ok with going down on them and pleasuring them, but when it was their turn to do the same for me, I was not very comfortable with anything apart from kissing. I felt ticklish, and while it was pleasant enough for the first minute, I ended up pushing the guy away after that. When this happened with the second guy and the third guy, I quickly realized I was perhaps more ticklish than usual and this caused me to sort of develop a self-defense technique in my mind, to stop myself from giggling and, "putting" the other guy off. Not sure if this was helpful, but you're not alone!" :grin:
     
  7. LostInDaydreams

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    Hi @Ameryllis

    You don’t have to answer this...but are you able to touch yourself in the way you want your girlfriend to touch you? Do you think focusing on other forms of intimacy for a while might help you to feel more comfortable around your girlfriend?

    If it’s more than just a case of feeling comfortable, and it seems like it might be from what you’ve written, then speaking to a therapist would be a good way to approach this. A good therapist will be able to help you to unpick what’s going on. Have you had any trauma in your past that could be causing this?
     
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  8. jeneralez

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    Hi there...I have a sense of what you might be going through. My body literally feels like it needs to cry even at the thought of a tampon, so pleasurable times are no even considered in that manor. I am late 30s, married for more than 10 years, and have a wife who has no problem with insertion. In my own experience I found that being honest with her was the only way to go. It was early on in our relationship that I realized how uncomfortable it was for my body, and she could tell that there wasn't a lot of pleasure happening in there...so it was a natural progression to go just slightly north. If there is one thing that everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) should know it is that the clit serves only one purpose...to please.
    I know my sexual history is a large contributor to my aversion, do you have any ideas of yours?