I am not sure if this is normal, but this is my story. I haven’t been attracted to the same sex in the last two years, and I wonder if environment plays a role in this. Or if it was a change in sexual orientation. Two years ago I moved to a city that is very accepting of LGBT people and a lot of people I knew were out as LGBT. I was pushed to evaluate my own sexual orientation. I started dating girls and everything. Then I moved back to heteronormative society (i.e. my hometown) due to the pandemic and not being able to find a job. Then I just stopped feeling any attraction to the same sex. I tried to date again but could never feel any chemistry with another girl. I continued to question my sexual orientation. I then stopped wanting to explore my sexuality (I still don't; it now makes me uncomfortable). I don't know if environment influenced this or if my sexual orientation changed somehow. Or maybe I stopped feeling attraction completely. I find it strange.
Hi @jjusa Apologies if you’ve mentioned this in another thread somewhere, but are you still (assuming you have done before) able to feel attraction to the opposite sex? I’ve had periods of time where I’ve not felt anything for anyone, which I think was probably linked to everything else that was going on in my life at the time and the stress it caused. For example, the prospect of losing my job combined with other things. I wasn’t in a position to date either so it might not be a fair comparison to your situation, but you mentioned having to move back home due not having a job and I wondered whether the stress/uncertainly might be a factor? Do you feel that you want to be dating right now?
No. I haven’t been able to feel attraction to anyone. That’s why I think I’ve lost it. I think our situations are somewhat similar. The outcome of not feeling anything for anyone is the same. I have an adjustment disorder so I always feel stressed from life changes. No I don’t want to date because I know I won’t feel attracted anyway. I guess I’m just frustrated because it’s been years and the stress still won’t leave me. I wonder if me not feeling anything will be permanent.
I’m sorry that this has lasted years for you. I can recall thinking that I’d lost it too, but it did come back once my situation was more stable. Do you have any strategies for managing stress? Would you consider speaking to a therapist to try to work on it?
I’m no expert, but it seems reasonable that depression could be a factor. It’s good that you’re speaking to a therapist. Have you shared all of this with them?
Thank you for responding to me. I haven't bc it's a new therapist and I've only seen them twice, but I'm not sure how to bring this up to them. I think even people with depression still know who they are attracted to, whereas I am not sure anymore.
If you’re not sure how to bring it up during a session then you could write it down to to give to your therapist or send an email in advance. If you’re unable to meet in person, then email is probably the only option.
