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Should I come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Aelin56, Sep 24, 2021.

  1. Aelin56

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    I'm bi (at least that's what I think) and so far I've only came out to my brother, he was very supportive, but knowing him, I was sure that he would be. Do you think I should come out to my friends or family? Or should I rather wait until I get a girlfriend, and just introduce her to my family and friends, and they will know I'm not straight? My mother used to be homophobic, but now she seems supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. In the past it would be a big issue to her if I turned out not to be straight, but now she has changed. My father also seems rather open-minded. My friends mostly too. I live on my own (I study at university) but visit my parents on summer and winter holidays and long weekends.
     
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  2. Jakebusman

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    Depends how do you think your family will react ?
     
  3. FireFox

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    If it was me I'd jump in the deep end and tell them now if only to reduce any chance of arkwardness if you show up with your girlfriend.
     
  4. Aelin56

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    Thanks for the advice, you're probably right. It would be weird to just randomly show up with a girlfriend when my parents think I'm straight.
     
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  5. Aelin56

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    My mother is a practicing Catholic and she used to follow what the church said that being gay is a sin etc., now she has changed but I'm still not sure if she would be okay with me being bi. When I was a teenager I told her once that I'm confused about my sexuality a bit, and she reacted strongly, told me that me not being straight was unthinkable. That was like 6 years ago, and she's a different person now, but I don't really know how much she has changed.
    I'm not really sure how my father would react. He is open-minded, but still a little bit conservative. He would probably be okay with it, but I'm not 100% sure.
     
  6. I'm gay

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    It's entirely possible that you revealing the possibility of not being straight six years ago is what prompted her "change" in attitude. So, she might already be aware of this possibility and is simply waiting for you to confirm where you are at now.
     
  7. quebec

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    Aelin56.....I'm glad that your family seems to be more accepting now than they were in the past. I do think that it would be better to come out to them before you bring a girlfriend home without any warning. It would give them time to adjust to the "new you" and would avoid the sudden shock of you being gay if they really hadn't already figured out that you were queer. Plus it puts your girlfriend in a really uncomfortable place to be the center of attention when some of your family didn't realize that you are gay. That would be pretty unfair to her to say the least. It would probably be a shock to at least some of your family and that usually doesn't lead to a good situation. All in all I really do think letting them know before you bring someone home would be a much better plan than the sudden surprise of "Hello, I'm gay and this is my girlfriend!"
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  8. Aelin56

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    You're right, it would be better to come out before I bring home a girlfriend out of nowhere. Thank you
     
  9. Aelin56

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    That might be the case, thank you. Since our conversation back then she hasn't hinted at me possibly being queer, if she said anything about me finding a partner in the future she only talked about males. But she might still remember what I told her back then.