So, I identify as an LGBT Christian. I go to a church called Agape Church. I am out to my pastors. They are against LGBT but did not feel the need to kick me out of the church because they just think I "haven't found the right man yet". I am fairly active in my church, teaching in the children's ministry and singing in the worship team. I have tried attending different churches, including LGBT-affirming/approving churches, but nothing compares to the sense of "home" I feel in Agape Church (I have been attending this church for 11 years, 2 years before I even realized I wasn't straight). I've had crushes on both males and females at my church. One guy, let's call him NR, I had a crush on and my parents wanted me to end up with him but it didn't work out because neither of us ever made a move and now he has a girlfriend. Another person at my church, let's call her JJ, I had a crush on but I never made a move because I wasn't sure of her sexual orientation. Finally, a third person, was my best friend at church, I'll call her EE. EE and I were super close. She's 2 years younger than me. When I developed an obsession with my high school teacher, she helped me through it. However, when I failed to get over my feelings for the teacher, she turned on me saying that I needed professional help. She no longer goes to our church on a regular basis. Now, just this year, I found yet another person to crush on at my church. I'll call her NSS. NSS started going to my church in 2020. I was singing in the worship team, on the stage, and we caught each other's eye (she was in the audience). Her parents and my parents started talking after the service. Our parents introduced us and I waved at her and she smiled at me. I thought she had a gorgeous smile but her mom gave me the stink eye LOL. Being my nosy self, I searched her up on social media. Her FB said she was in a relationship so I tried to forget about my crush on her. Then, after a few months, I saw that her and her S.O. broke up. I tried to follow her on a social media platform since her profile was private but she didn't accept my follow request. Then, we went into lockdown. My church was closed for 8 months. I figured it was God's way of telling me that I shouldn't pursue this girl. However, my church recently opened these past 2 weeks and I thought her family will no longer be attending Agape and found a different church BUT they were there. My feelings for her, even after 8 months have passed, have not gone away. I am not sure what her sexual orientation is but I would like to pursue her. Since she didn't accept my follow request, I was wondering if I should try another social media platform but am worried it would be creepy. I was thinking of adding her on FB but I realized, we had no mutual friends. Would it be creepy of me to add her? My church is in lockdown yet again so I won't see her in person for at least 2 weeks. Should I just be patient and talk to her in person once lock down is over? We have barely had any interaction in-person wise. Again, would it be creepy if I added her on FB? I was thinking of messaging her along with my friend request saying something like, "Hi NSS. My name is (insert my real name here) and I go to Agape church with you. Would love if I could add you to my friend's list!". Again, would this be creepy since I already tried to follow her on another platform?
