I always say be careful what you wish for, so be it - last night my wife of 19 years said that she wants a divorce. This is not the first time I have heard this, but this time I believe she is serious. Feels really scarey right now as I write this, I do know that this is the proper thing to do and feel weak for not being the one to take the upper hand and push for this myself sooner. I got back into therapy last year and have come to terms with a great deal in this time. I am just disappointed that I tried to get her to go to see a couple's therapist and suggested that she might also want to go see somebody but she would have no part in it. She blames a great deal of our upcoming break up on my going to therapy, wanting things to go back to as they were before. We were in a very co-dependent relationship that needed repair and ugh. I hope that as we (I) move forward and things settle down to explore my genuine self and what I have buried for so long. I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and am feeling anxious about this upcoming transition. I always thought that I was afraid for my daughters, right now, I am feeling afraid for me and my ability to keep it all together. I just have to remind myself to stay in the moment, be genuine and open.