So, there's been some discourse around the f word as of late. Certain online groups think only gay and bi men should reclaim the word and that women that aren't straight should not. It's not a word I use very often, but I have used it before in a positive sense - such as when talking about a pride sign that used the word in a humorous way. What do you think?
I do not do so but I am woman who was bullied horribly, beaten, shoved into trashcans and a lot more while the bullies flung that word at me. If I did choose to "reclaim" that word I do not think that anyone has the right to tell me that I am not allowed to do so.
I had really never thought of it before. Makes sense that anybody that has (for lack of better words) been victimized by it to reclaim it if they want. Could be a generational or regional thing, but imho it is still a word with a lot of hurt and negative connotation. If it was a sweeping majority (of people victimized by it) that wanted to reclaim it, then I'd be perfectly happy getting any and everybody to help reclaim it! However, a lot of people are divided on reclaiming it or flat out don't want to..... Agree with @QuietPeace- my hurt, my experience getting bullied, my right ito reclaim it if I so chose. Same for anybody in the same boat.
The relation gay and bi men have with that word is going to be a lot different than gay and bi women. Is this an issue many queer women are passionate about? I've seen terms like "faggette" used this forum, for example, which made me feel funny. We could make a similar argument with the b word, which many gay men will use among each other. QuietPeace, your experience is obviously very different from cis queer women, but there's also the similar debate over whether trans men should be allowed to use the "t word". What say you?
T-word? If you mean "tranny" if they wish to I am not going to say that they cannot. I only use such slurs when describing how hateful people have been to me (as in "the police officer thought that as just a tranny or trap that I do not have human rights" - when said I do so in a way to emphasize the word to show that I am representing the other persons hate not as in my actually identifying as such) and I do not "reclaim" any of them. I also only use queer to indicate being marginalized. I am an outlier though as I do not even identify as Transgender, Trans or Trans*, as far as my own identity I simply say that I am a woman or female.
Personally, I have never gone along with the idea of reclaiming insults and making them our own. Sounds good in principle, but I don't think it makes a jot of difference in practice. When homophobes hear us calling each other queer etc. they use it as an excuse to double-down in arguments about their offensive language... "they call each other queer!". These are not people who understand nuance or the concept of reclaiming words. Do we chase down every insult used against us? Where do we draw the line?
But if the word is reclaimed, won't it eventually lose the offensive sting? My self-identification as "queer" isn't really about "reclaiming" the word, but more about using it as a vague umbrella term, since I don't feel like calling myself a panromantic, asexual, transfeminine, nonbinary girl. "Queer" is just so much neater, and it allows me to gloss over certain things I don't want to be open about; I can call myself queer without having to explain just what kind of queer I am. And if the word "queer" is fully reclaimed, then there will be no point in using it as a slur, because it won't bring about the reaction that bullies want. They'll have to come up with another word, and we'll claim that. Eventually, they'll run out of words, and then there will be no way left to insult us
To my knowledge African-Americans have been "reclaiming" the N word for a couple of decades now. It has yet to become any less of a slur when white people use it. I do not know what that symbol means in this context. Even if it were possible to take all words away from people they would still be able to hate. It does not matter what someone is calling you when they chain you to their bumper and drag you to your death. Those who hate will continue to do so until some substantive change is made in society.
