1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Questions for Bisexuals

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by LilLady9, Jul 1, 2021.

  1. LilLady9

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2021
    Messages:
    607
    Likes Received:
    196
    Location:
    Germany
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    As a bisexual myself, I love hearing from other bisexuals about everything sexuality. I love to pick their brain if you will... I enjoy seeing what our similarities are. I also think hearing from other bisexuals better helps me understand myself. So, if you don't mind, I have a handful of questions for you:


    Are you happy to be bisexual?

    Is it hard being bisexual?

    How long have you identified as bisexual?

    How long have you known you're bisexual?

    Have you ever thought you're just going through a phase?

    How would you describe your bisexuality? What does being bisexual mean to you?

    What are some of the positives to being bisexual?

    What are some of the negatives to being bisexual?

    How do people take it when you tell them you're bisexual?

    Does your significant other know you're bisexual?

    Do you feel you're accepted as a bisexual?

    Have you ever experienced biphobia?

    Have you even been in a same-sex relationship?

    Are you out to some people, a few people, only family, everyone, or no one at all?

    Do you prefer women or men more?

    Where would you place yourself on the Kinsey Scale?

    If you're currently in a relationship, are you dating a man or woman?


    Sorry there are so many questions. If you don't want to answer every one, feel free to just answer what ever ones you would like to. If you can think of any questions that I didn't ask that you would like to address, please do so. I would love discussing it with you! :slight_smile:

    love :purple_heart:
     
  2. SteveBi45

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2021
    Messages:
    138
    Likes Received:
    92
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm still getting used to identifying as bisexual. From being a teenager I noticed my attraction to both girls and boys, but at the time I put it down to a phase. As I got older and had relationships with women, I tried not to think about it, but every now and then my feelings for men would come back again and I would question it and again put it down to a phase. I have a stronger attraction to women and consider myself to be 2 on the Kinsey Scale.

    Since 2-3 years now those feelings haven't gone away and very recently I have started to identify as bisexual in my mid 40's. This makes it hard, as I am married and scared about coming out and breaking that relationship.

    Being bisexual for me, means accepting my attraction to men and women. I am in a relationship with a woman, but I accept that it's ok for me to fantasize and masturbate thinking about men. This used to make me feel very guilty, but now I see it as a healthy way to accept my sexuality for what it is.

    So right now, my wife doesn't know and I am considering how/if I come out.
     
    BiGemini87 and LilLady9 like this.
  3. CuriousArticles

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2014
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Southampton, UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Are you happy to be bisexual?
    Most of the time. I'm not fully out so it makes me unhappy to be hiding or worry about what people will think.

    Is it hard being bisexual?
    Not especially now. I have an accepting partner. Accepting myself was though. I joined here at 23 because I had a major freak out over my sexuality, and figuring that out was hard, and made relationships impossible.

    How long have you identified as bisexual?
    The first person a came out to as "not completely straight" I was 19. As bisexual I was 24. I'm 30 now.

    How long have you known you're bisexual?
    Since I was about 17 but I kind of new long before that and didn't really have the words.

    Have you ever thought you're just going through a phase?
    I still wonder.....le sigh

    How would you describe your bisexuality? What does being bisexual mean to you?
    I'm attracted to people. I've never understood the difference between genders but it feels different and I'm far from genderblind. I tend to lean away from extremes of gender though.
    I guess to me it means...gender is as important as personality or eye colour. It plays a part but I'm not ruling out anyone purely on it.

    Maybe a better way to say it is I'm not attracted to men and women. I'm attracted to the middle ground of masculine and feminine. The associated genitalia is sort of unimportant but the gender identify effects how I feel attraction. I'm not sure I've explained that very well.

    What are some of the negatives to being bisexual?
    The constant fear that I'm making it up or imagining it. Not feeling comfortable with straight or gay people or feeling straight enough or gay enough. Everyone I come out to forgetting I'm not straight because I have a male partner, so it's the elephant in the room and I'm afraid to come out again without a reason....

    How do people take it when you tell them you're bisexual?
    The few people I've told have been pretty chill then forgotten. I've had 2 friends I've had to tell twice. It makes me second guess myself a bit.

    Does your significant other know you're bisexual?
    Yes. And is very supportive.

    Do you feel you're accepted as a bisexual?
    I guess...pretty invisible though.

    Have you ever experienced biphobia?
    Only in minor ways.
    "That's just greedy."
    "I'm bi but I have a boyfriend. Does that count?" "..ehhh.."

    Have you even been in a same-sex relationship?
    Nope. The only person I've been on more than 1 date with is my current male partner. And only managed that after I accepted my sexuality. I don't have a long relationship history.

    Are you out to some people, a few people, only family, everyone, or no one at all?
    My mum and sister. My partner. Select close friends.

    Do you prefer women or men more?
    Meh. Varies. If someone is NB I often find them attractive too. I prefer more masculine women and more feminine men, and anything in between.

    Where would you place yourself on the Kinsey Scale?
    3/4 I guess. It doesn't really work for me.

    If you're currently in a relationship, are you dating a man or woman?
    A man. We've been together for 6 1/2 years now. Yay!
     
    BiGemini87 and LilLady9 like this.
  4. Lemony

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2020
    Messages:
    317
    Likes Received:
    138
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Are you happy to be bisexual?

    I’m happy I know who I am. Somedays I just wish I was just gay or straight as I overthink a lot when in the bi cycle, like when I’m way more into women for a while and then start crushing on guys I think was I faking the attraction for women.

    Is it hard being bisexual?

    I have never dated before......... but feeling like you’re faking it yeah it’s hard.

    How long have you identified as bisexual?

    A year or so.

    How long have you known you're bisexual?

    I started questioning when I was 13. Realised fully at like 14-15.

    Have you ever thought you're just going through a phase?

    Multiple times. It hurts my head.

    How would you describe your bisexuality? What does being bisexual mean to you?

    I am romantically and sexuality attracted to guys and the same for women. (I mean how did I not know when I was 9 playing with my stuffed animals and there was always a lesbian couple lol, or when I would get aroused by women on tv, or liked the idea of kissing girls)

    *Most of this I thought was related to being a straight girl wanting to see women’s bodies to compare

    If I fall for someone who is trans, I am still bisexual. Trans women, I’m dating a women, trans man, I’m dating a man. Nothing changes. They are who they know they are.


    What are some of the positives to being bisexual?

    Another thing in common when I date a guy.

    It explains why I feel the way I do.



    What are some of the negatives to being bisexual?

    Always thinking you’re lying to yourself. Thinking it all was a phase constantly.

    How do people take it when you tell them you're bisexual?

    Only my Mum knows and she’s fantastic.

    Does your significant other know you're bisexual?

    Single.

    Do you feel you're accepted as a bisexual?

    Yes and no.

    Have you ever experienced biphobia?

    No but I hate seeing it on social media or tv.

    Have you even been in a same-sex relationship?

    No but I really want one.

    Are you out to some people, a few people, only family, everyone, or no one at all?

    My mum, and online lgbt friends.

    Do you prefer women or men more?

    It changes, at first guys more but as I started accepting myself more, my feelings for women has come out. It changes, as in intensity but always both.

    Where would you place yourself on the Kinsey Scale?

    I’ll get back and edit and answer.

    If you're currently in a relationship, are you dating a man or woman?

    single
     
    LilLady9 and BiGemini87 like this.
  5. BiGemini87

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    1,485
    Likes Received:
    1,318
    Location:
    Pembroke, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think so, yeah. I'm happy to understand more about myself, and being bi is part of that.

    It can be. Like any aspect of life, it comes with its ups and downs.

    A little over 2 years, now.

    I can't say "known", so much as suspected. The first time it occurred to me as a possibility would have been about my mid-teens.

    Early on, frequently. Less so now. I tend to shut that down pretty fast; all it takes is some quick reflection on early experiences/feelings to now, and any doubt I've held tends to go quiet.

    I would describe it as something that makes up a small, yet integral part of me. For the most part, my attractions between men and women are pretty even, though I do go through mild fluctuations where I notice women more than men, and vice versa. To me, it means having the capacity to be attracted to and loving all kinds of people, but not without limitations. I have types, like anyone else of any other orientation.

    Being able to appreciate both sexes in a way that allows me to relate to friends/family members. For example (and I know this one is probably pretty common for bisexuals in opposite sex relationships) I can bond with my husband over shared celeb crushes, like Kat Dennings.

    Stereotypes. People who know little to nothing about bisexuality assuming the worst. Or having someone who knows someone else who went through bisexuality as a "phase" assuming everyone who says they're bi is just like that person. Having people who aren't bi explaining my bisexuality to me.

    For the most part, pretty well. I don't go around telling everyone I meet or know point-blank. Unless there's an organic way to bring it up, I just don't talk about it that much. Publicly coming out over social media yielded positive reactions, though it's hard to say how many "supportive" people were simply too afraid to react in any other way where others could see them.

    Yup! First person I told when I finally accepted it.

    Mostly, I guess. Any negative experiences have been largely online, so I don't put too much stock in them.

    Mostly online. Some minor biphobia irl.

    Unfortunately, no.

    Everyone, but that's not to suggest everyone I know necessarily knows. If I don't have them on the social media platforms I came out on, or if they just missed it that day, they might not know. Like I said before, I'm not hiding it, but I don't feel the need to bring it up. If it comes up, it comes up. Otherwise, I'm just trying to coexist with people to the best of my ability.

    Depends on the day.

    I'd put myself at 3. Kinsey frequently puts me at 2, just because I haven't had same-sex experience. >.>

    Happily married to a man. Been together 16 and a half years.

    Love these topics, @BiBoyToy. It's nice to see other people's answers and just connect with fellow bisexuals now and again. :slight_smile:
     
    CuriousArticles, Lemony and LilLady9 like this.
  6. LilLady9

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2021
    Messages:
    607
    Likes Received:
    196
    Location:
    Germany
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That you to everyone that has responded thus far. I've really enjoyed reading what you all have had to say. I plan to respond to the questions myself shortly. :slight_smile: